Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Pocket versus the snow monsters

          I am not sure what happened….but then again I seldom do.
          Monday night I could sense something bad was happening, both through my super Yorkie sense and the way my humans were acting. 
          Then the wind started.  I hate wind.  It whips and howls like monsters.  Mommy tells me don’t worry but I know could be monsters.  What better time for monsters to attack?
          We all climbed in bed to sleep together.  I am safe there.  The monsters can’t get me when I am under the covers because they can’t attack what they can’t see.  I made sure I stayed next to Mommy so she wasn’t taken by the monsters either.
          Daddy got up in the morning.  My super Yorkie senses picked up that he was aggravated.  He was saying words not heard in the Bible, going in and out, banging things.  I was sitting on the blanket shaking.  He came back in the bedroom and said he got the heat working after digging out our outside unit.  I have such a smart Daddy.
          A little while later the heat shut off.  Daddy’s not too smart.
          I didn’t like Tuesday at all.  It was cold.  There was this one weird black box that gave off heat called a space heater.  Mommy and Daddy put on all sorts of clothes and got under blankets.  And my Yorkie senses was picking up shared tension.  But as long as I was touching one of my humans I was safe.  This situation even affected River who peed on the couch which is strange because she usually pees on Mommy’s chair.
          We went to bed with all the covers over us and I was nice and snuggly.  The wind had stopped so there were no monsters.  But then, early in the morning, Daddy got out of bed in the 40 degree house.  I could hear him outside, scraping, slamming doors, huffing and puffing.  The monsters must be back and he was fighting them off
          Daddy wanted to let Mommy sleep while he slayed the monsters but she couldn’t because I was sitting on her head trembling.  Two and a half hours later Daddy came back in, cold, wet, and tired.  He had killed the monster, which he called the “Driveway” by shoveling it.
          Daddy then got in the warm bed again.  I was still very unsettled, listening to make sure that the monsters were truly dead.  Then I laid down next to Daddy under the covers, and he put his arm around me and I let out a big sigh, finally safe and at peace and together we fell asleep.
          The house was still cold when we awoke.   Two men showed up, who we weren’t allowed to play with, and the heat was turned on again.  Once they were gone I settled down on a human lap and my Yorkie senses quieted.
          I hope for the rest of the winter the heat stays on and the monsters stay away. 

          My little nerves can’t take anymore.
For more Pocket and Foley adventures click here


Wordless Wednesday: Six months later



Sunday, January 25, 2015

Pups of the Week January 25, 2015: Moms on a Mission

            When Doggyspace was shut down a determined group of Mom’s came together to create a group on Facebook to replace Doggyspace.  This group was led by Chipper, Romeo and Angel Cooper’s Mom Karen; Pokey, Maggie and Toby’s Mom Laura, Molly and Angel Daisy’s Mom Cindy; and Roscoe, Jessie and Angel Willie’s Mom Sandy.  It seemed like a simple project but quickly turned into a time consuming nightmare.
            When the Tanner Brigade accepted many refugees the transition went very smoothly.  But every member of Tanner is a well-known dog, and you can only join by invite, while Facebook is filled with entitled morons, psychopaths and mental detectives
            Plus there must be a crazy person test on Facebook.  If you pass the test you are given a secret list of every site that is created on Facebook and the people who belong to that site.  Next you ask for the friendship of every member of the site.  Some people (looking crossways at Mom) accept every friend request that comes their way.  Our friends who created this Doggyspace refugee camp on Facebook looked at the friends of the people who were requesting membership and seeing that many of their friends were Doggyspace members (looking crossways at Mommy again) allowed them in the group.
            And then the crazy people peeled away their normal person face and let out the crazies.  These people had answers for everything:  Erectile dysfunction, deflated balls, erectile dysfunction, dirty movies, erectile dysfunction.  Humans seem very concerned with dysfunctioning erectiles.
            So there were members on Doggyspace 2015 who weren’t Doggyspace people and some refugees took back to the ocean to find a safe island.  Tommy Tunes sniffed around for a while, decided it wasn’t for him, lifted his leg and peed to mark that Tommy was there and then left.    Leo and his Mom didn’t stick around too long either.
            But our group of committed Moms were determined to give the refugees a safe home.  Luckily Slater and Chase’s Mom Gretchen stepped up with a list of DS dogs and parents from her secret paws group (albeit not alphabetized but we let it go because we love her.)  Soon our determined Moms who were now close to being committed were able to eliminate the folks who were not refugees from Doggyspace but were refugees from the crazy house.
            There were some further problems.  There was the girl who was a member and then created another account in a different name and invited herself.  After much discussion both of her were gone.  There were also some DS members who seemed to enjoy setting the old place on fire and watching members scramble for their lives and they were whittled away too.  And there were members who were eventually allowed in, but the process took a long time, because there were so many fake members, and the Moms had to be sure.  In time these devoted Moms are going to look for new pup owners because if they don’t a generation of dog parents will not have the love and support that our parents have had
            Also DS did send blogs and pictures to members who requested them but they were difficult to open.  Cappy and Kokomo’s Mom Jackie did a great job helping people recapture their memories.
            And so with a determined and hopefully not soon to be committed Moms we move forward as a group, still lost, still searching for a home, like on Battlestar Galactica after being destroyed by the Pet360 cylons.  And while there is still a lot of work to do we should recognize the Moms who have done so much to keep us together.

            So a sincere tip of the tail to you all, for all of us, from me, one Judge Foley Monster.

For the further adventures of Foley Monster click here



Friday, January 23, 2015

Ask Aunt Foley: Fat Dog

          Dear Aunt Foley:   Mommy wants me to eat some food called Fat Dog and go on a diet.  I think I am perfectly proportioned.  What should I do?  - Maggie.
          Dear Maggie:  I know there are a lot of reasons that being overweight is bad for us but humans never think to break it to us gently.  With other humans they might mention that a friend’s clothes could possibly be fitting a tad tighter, or they seem to be breathing a little hard, never mentioning the extra thirty pounds they packed on.
          With us we are taken to the vet where the vicious bastard announces with not an ounce of kindness that we need to lose weight.  Sometimes they then try to sell our parents food which is like trying to save someone from drowning by spitting in their mouth.
          I want to tell these parents that we have feelings too.  We are conscious of our weight.  I don’t know how many times, while wearing an outfit, I asked Pocket if it made my ass smell big.
          I have researched and if you are having trouble getting off the holiday weight (especially if the holiday was Labor Day 2011) Fat Dog is a low calorie, low fat, food with enough protein to keep bigger dogs from starving to death, but I do find the name insulting in the extremist.
          There are lots of ways for humans to lose weight but the names are not insulting.  No human would spend money on “Jenny Craig Thinks Your Fat” or “You’re Starting to Look Like a Kardashian But Not In A Good Way.” Or “Weight Watches Your Giant Bionkadunk Walking Down the Street.”
          Us dogs have body issues just like you humans.  And we aren’t the ones who control what we eat unless we catch a critter now and then and if we do we are just keeping the world safe from critters.  You feed us so don’t be calling us fat.  Yes, we would eat the entire bag of food if it was put in front of us but once a year you forget to feed us and we are always afraid that once a year is tomorrow.  So you could just feed us less, case solved.

          (Except that we are going to whine about being hungry and look at you with the saddest eyes in the world until you finally break down and give us that Cheese Doodle and after you do the sad eyes will be back ten seconds later but that’s a blog for another day.)

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Dogs or kids: Is there any Question? By River Song

          I recently read an article on Slate.com that asked if you could love a dog as much as you love a child.
          What ridiculous question:  Who could possibly love a child as much as they love their dog?
          I mean we have all the advantages.  I can see how you could be annoying when we were puppies, but we are cute as hell, certainly cuter than any puking, pooping baby.  They’re bald, they smell, their needy, holy heck, some of them even feed off their human mothers.  What is so freaking cute about that?
          Now there is us.  Look at us.  We are beautiful.  And we are very low maintenance.  As soon as we are born we get up on all fours, we crawl, and we’re good for the rest of our lives.  Babies have to stand, walk, all this showy stuff.  And if they don’t do it on time they have to be studied and worried over.  What’s wrong with crawling?  I can go for miles crawling.  Let’s see some high faulting baby do that.
          After about eight months we are what we are going to be for the rest of our lives but kids just keep creating more problems.  There are all sorts of levels of school they insist on going to when a good six week course does it for us.  They are nothing but a drain on finances unless something goes wrong we are a bag of food a month, some treats, and a once a year vet visit.  And unless you are Hattie Mae the clothing expense is minimal.
          When we reach our teens we slow down, we rely on you more, and we just want to spend time with you.  When babies reach their teens they decide they know everything, stop listening to their parents, start making terrible decisions and cause horrible stress.  Thank God for us and our sweet dispositions that help our parents get through the troubled times teens bring.
          And finally both us dogs and human babies move away, we go to the Bridge, and they either go to college, get a job, or join a cult.  We visit our parents in their dreams which is a lot of work, while kids can’t even send their Mom a freaking birthday card on her birthday.  Yeah we mean you. 
          So how can you compare a child to a dog?  We are the obvious winners.

            For more adventures of Foley Monster and Pocket click HERE



Sunday, January 18, 2015

Pup of the Week: Memories of Doggyspace and the Paper Princess

  It was a dark and stormy night.  I stood at the top of the stairs awaiting the Bridge’s newest member.  I had never sworn in a dog during a storm before.  And never in the dark either.  I saw a figure, struggling to climb the stairs.  She was paper thin, and several times almost blew away.  Then she reached the top.  “I am sure you are glad to see me here Foley,” the Paper Princess said.
            Princess was her name.  When I signed up for Doggyspace in September of 2008 after Daddy read about a social network site for dogs on the Time magazine website Princess was the one who welcomed me.  She was a fellow Yorkie and I thought we would be great friends.  But we ended up being the bitterest of enemies. 
            It started out great.  We signed up, then went to another site.  When we came back we already had 50 friends.  That number would triple by the end of the evening.  I am not sure of everyone we met that night but we do remember barking with Blazer deep into the night and feeling good that we made a friend.
            The first months were wonderful.  They are a time so many of us refer to as the golden age of Doggyspace.   Sure we might be romanticizing things, there was drama and even some fights but we remember it as a place where we went every night to laugh, to play, to learn the way other dogs trained their humans.  We drank sodas and ate ice creams at Otis’ ice cream shop, we sat in the stands, watched the Furminators play, and we had the grandest parties.  We were a family, a family of thousands, and nothing was going to drive us apart.
            That first month I also found the Moses’ blogs.  Just before I joined DS Moses went to the Bridge and his mother Nancy wrote the most beautiful, moving words I had ever read.  Everything I have written since has been a pale imitation of the emotion, the honesty, and the pain in those blogs.
            As with most families the fights grew worse, and there were arguments, usually Saturday night.  DS merged with another site which had many children as members and sometimes children and dogs don’t mix.  The fight became more extreme and some members of our playground turned mean.  The Princess’ owner began to threaten long standing members while siding with either newer members or those who paid premium memberships.  But still it was our home and we were willing to fight for all the good dogs there, members of our family.
            And then Tanner got sick and was diagnosed with cancer.  His mother was distraught, and one member, who seemed to be in the middle of every fight, made a cruel comment about Tanner and his Mom used the Dad’s name (which was appropriate since he really didn’t own a dog) in the response.  The Dad of the phony dog complained and Tanner was suspended from the site.  I received an e-mail from Tanner, who was very upset about losing his friends just as his Mom needed them most.  I decided to try to make the peace and sent an e-mail to Princess’ Dad Levi asking that either Tanner’s Mom be forgiven, or she at least be allowed on the site until Tanner’s passing because she needed the support.  And that is when we got the e-mail that changed Doggyspace forever.
“As you know the rules are laid out clear, and we can not allow this bickering to continue, nor slander. It may be unforchunit for her personaly, however she knew she should not have done that before she even posted it, and we can not make exceptions in this case due to the size of the event.Dont expect it to be the last eather, the entire admin/support team are hunting down anyone that was part of the event on bothsides as its a clear break of the community rules. Its sad to see so many adults act like children.”
            And that was the statement that changed so much.  I began to contact my closest friends through private messages containing this e-mail.  And then I got suspended, which is when we found out that the Princess’ father was reading our private messages.
            I created my own blog page and printed the letter in my first blog.  Shortly after that, on our own blog page we printed a picture of Princess that we found among common Yorkie pictures on Google proving that Princess was not a real dog.  This got us barred forever and led to many original DS members, fed up with the ownership, the reading of messages, the barring of people, the favoring of others, to leave Doggyspace.   After Tanner passed to the Bridge many of us created new profiles and put pictures of Tanner all of DS in tribute.  The next day the Tanner Brigade was born.
            It seemed that we would be two groups.  Some managed to keep dual membership, others stayed away from DS.   The Paper Princess profile was taken down.  Within the year owner Levi sold the company to Simpio Marketing.  We rejoined the group a few years ago and made wonderful new friends, caught up with old ones, and enjoyed ourselves a great deal, but, in the glory days, one comment would spun 100 more, and now it spurned a quarter of that.  There were other ownership transfers after that, until finally Pet360 bought it, let it rot on the vine, and then ended the site, which put The Paper Princess and me on the top of the Bridge this stormy night.
            “So,” I said impatiently, “Doggyspace is gone and you think that grants you permission to join us at the Bridge?”
            “Of course,” she said. 
            I stamped my paw.  “Neither you nor your Dad really every understood Doggyspace,” I said.  “It wasn’t about computers, or journals, it was about love, friendship and understanding.  And there weren’t any profiles.  Those were memory pages.  Memories of dogs when they were young, stories about them running, playing, swimming and then memories as they slowly aged.  Their entire lifetime on a web page.  And with some of them the story of slowing down, growing old, illnesses, and the final sad passing.   Not a web page, but a life page, and you took it all away.”
            “I’m not responsible for any of that,” the Princes said.
            “Of course you are,” I snapped.  “All you and your owner had to do was step back and let us be but you took away our freedom to bark, you spied on us, and you kicked our friends out.  And then you sold us out to companies that had no heart and only wanted money.  And that led to the site being sold and sold again until it was finally sold to the greatest evil of all, a pet store!  And then shut down because it wasn’t making money, but the funny thing is if anyone ever stopped and asked our parents they would have been happy to pay to keep their memories on line, thousands of dollars a year.  You could have made millions.  But you never believe in how much parents loved us.  They buy us stupid things all the time:  Toys we rip apart in seconds, treats we will never eat, clothes we won’t wear, training whistles, anxiety medicines.  If they would spend money on all that crap imagine what they would pay for our stories, our pictures, and our lives.”
            “I think you are out of order,” the Princess said.
            “You’re out of order!” I shouted.  “If I was half the dog I used to be I would take a flame thrower to that place, but I’m too damn old, I’m too damn short, I don’t have opposable thumbs.”  I took several deep breaths to calm down.  “I just wish the humans who made this decision knew….I just wish they knew.”
            The Princess was no longer talking.  I don’t know it if was the wind, or if she was scared, but she was trembling.
            “But the thing that you and your big business friends don’t understand is that nothing is going to split us apart.  You may have taken a wrecking ball to our home but we are still together, on Facebook, on Tanner Brigade, wherever there are dogs in needs of prayer, in need of support we are there.  You will never keep us apart.  Once again, you have failed, and by the way, you’re not getting sworn in here, you’re not real, you never were, and you don’t mean a thing.”
            And with that the Paper Princess crumpled up and flew away.
            DS might be gone, but the memories, the friendships and the loves will last forever.  Nothing is going to rip us apart.

Friday, January 16, 2015

Ask Aunt Foley: Some Facts About DS That Will Make You More Pissed Off

          Dear Aunt Foley:   Why did DS have to close?  It was our home and we miss it terribly.  Signed, Everybody
          Dear Everybody:  Despite the battles I had with Doggyspace in 2010 I still loved the site.  I met all my friends there and it helped me become the “kind of a big deal” I am now.  It gave me more than I gave it, and you can’t speak ill about a site, or a person, that does that.
          But DS was run by humans and too many humans are run by money.  We were told that is took money to run Doggyspace and to make money you need advertisers.   Advertisers want to see lots of clicks on a site.  Because DS never improved their site, many pups had trouble getting on the site, and others found different platforms to post on DS was not getting the needed clicks and the site stopped generating money.  When greedy humans don’t make money they kill the thing that isn’t earning for them the same way that a hunter will put down a coonhound that won’t hunt.
          Now here is an interesting website http://doggyspace.com.smoothstat.com/.  This website shows that it cost the owners $0.00 a days to run Doggyspace.  It also shows that the site made $0.00 last year.  So nothing was going in and nothing was coming out.  Most of all it showed that DS went from 5,000 clicks from different users in January of 2014 to 500 clicks from different users in December of 2014.  No advertisers will pay for 500 clicks a month but on the other hand it doesn’t take many servers to pay for 500 clicks a month.  The bottom line is in today’s business world break even isn’t good enough.  If it doesn’t make money is it taken out back and shot.
          I am not an expert on websites but you do need someone with servers to handle all traffic.  The Tanner Brigade has a little over a hundred members but the fee we pay to Ning to run the servers and provide support is $300.00 a year and we can have up to 100,000 (and no advertisers.)  So the most it could have cost Pet360 to run Doggyspace a year, with no advertisers, was $300.00.  Many parents, including Blazer’s Mom offered to buy it for us.  They never received an answer.
          Petsmart bought Pet360 in August 2014 for $130 million dollars.  This increased Petsmarts’ profits to 98 million dollars.  But neither Pet360, Petsmart (now one and the same) could afford $300.00 to keep Doggyspace alive because their profits would on be $97.000,700 and who can live off of that?
          So Doggyspace was not killed off because of money but because of indifference by a major pet company who doesn’t care about its customers.
          So remember, all that matters to these businesses is money
          And remember this when you go to buy your kibble or a squeaky toy.  If one person stops buying one $30.00 bag of kibble a month the company will lose more money than it would have lost keeping DS alive.
          And if every one of the 500 people who clicked on Doggyspace in December do this it will be a lot more money.  And if the 5,000 members who clicked last January do it, that’s enough money for someone to pop their head out of the 98 million dollars and notice.
          The name Doggyspace.com can be bought in January 2016 for anyone interested.  Right now Doggyspace.net is available. 
          Maybe someday Doggyspace.com will rise again, and this time in the hands of a company who cares about pets and their parents.
          Until then we can dream.

          And mourn.   

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

The Sinking of the SS DS

It was a cold winter’s evening.  Reese, Kole and Fern had invited River and me to the SS DS for a romantic dinner under the stars.  While Reese enjoyed the cold the rest of us were freezing.  We were going to take a dingy back to the SS Tanner Brigade when Kole suggested we stay in one of the empty cabins.  Being quite cold, and wanting a warm bed, we decided to stay.
I was having a restless night because of River’s snoring when I heard yelling above deck.  I woke River up and told her we needed to investigate.  She hates getting out of bed and I had to force her out.  When we climbed the steps to the main deck humans were running everywhere.  I went to the stern and saw bits of ice.  I looked up and saw that the SS DS had run into two different icebergs labeled “Indifference” and “Financial Irresponsibility.”  I looked over the side of the ship and saw that the crash had ripped a large hole near the water line.  The SS DS was sinking. 
I told River she needed to go warn all the dogs on the ship to get their pictures, journals and comments before the ship sank.  She ran back down stairs and I saw Captain Administrator getting on one of the few life boats.  I asked him if he was staying to help the poor dogs but he said they had to get off the sinking ship as quickly as possible and then they all disappeared into a life boat with the rats who lived down below.
I expected dogs to be hurrying above deck now but no one was moving.  I went back to our cabin and found River in her now tilting bed. “River get up we are sinking!” I yelled.  She snapped at me and told me she was tired.   I dragged her out again and then we went barking down the halls warning our friends.  Soon they were all out of their rooms dragging pictures, videos and journals up the stairs.
We got above deck and it was chaos. Confused dogs were running everywhere with all their belongings but there were no life boats.  The humans had left on all of them.  We were going down.  We huddled in the middle of the boat praying for rescue, and then we saw bright lights falling from the stars towards us.
“It’s the angels!” Jackson yelled out and indeed it was:  Cooper, Bisket Willie, Meika, Otis, Tommy Tunes and led by Foley Monster.  Tommy landed first an assured us we would all be safe because other angels had come behind us to carry us from the ship.
Cooper stepped up and announced that he had summoned the huge Facebook boat.  He had reserved a huge private section for all the pups who wanted to join.  A group of angels lined up to transport the dogs to the Facebook boat.
Bisket stepped forward to say that his Dad was going  to build a new boat for us all from scratch and hoped to have it ready in a couple of weeks and to let him know if anyone wanted to go.  Many, many pups raised their hands.
Then Foley stepped forward and said that the Tanner Brigade was open for those who needed a new ship and many other hands went up.  The ship started to quickly sink and all the angels came down and lifted the pups over the ship, into the night, safe and dry.  Foley stood by the propeller as the SS DS began its final descent to the bottom of the ocean.  Just before it sunk Foley jumped off and then waved her gavel in the air.  Hundreds of sparks flew in the air.  They turned into seagulls and the birds flew for the lifeboats holding the administrators and the birds bombed them with the biggest poop on you award ever sinking the boats and leaving the administrators in the cold ocean.
Then the angels began to sing, joined by the saved dogs, as they were flown to safety:
We'll meet again,
Don't know where,don't know when,
But I know we'll meet again, some sunny day.
Keep smiling through,
Just like you always do,
Till the blue skies drive the dark clouds, far away.
So will you please say hello,
To the folks that I know,
Tell them I won't be long, (i wont be long)
They'll be happy to know that as you saw me go
I was singing this song.
We'll meet again,
Don't know where,don't know when,
But I know we'll meet again, some sunny day.
We'll meet again,
Don't know where, don't know when,
But I know we'll meet again, some sunny day.
Keep smiling through,
Just like you always do,
Till the blue skies drive the dark clouds, far away.
So will you please say hello
To the folks that I know,
Tell them I won't be long,(i wont be long )


For more Foley and Pocket adventures you can buy them here










Sunday, January 11, 2015

January 11, 2015 Pup of the week: Prayers Needed

          I have only one New Year’s resolution for 2015.  Unfortunately it is one I have no control over:  I want to do less swearing in of friends who crossed over the River of Life this year than I did last year.  But I have been inundated with prayers for pups and parents in the first ten days of this year and the only way to make my resolution a reality is to get even more prayers.  I would gladly spend all day flying prayers up to the Big Guy if I didn’t have to swear in any pups or parents this year.  So what we need is prayers.  Lots and lots of prayers.  Especially for the following pups and parents.
          I don’t know how many of my DS friends remember Jake the Shih Tzu.  He has not been very active on the site lately but his Mom is a good friend of ours on The Facebook.  She recently took sick and the doctors began to run all sorts of tests on her and the results were very troubling.  She has a tumor on her spine and is starting chemotherapy.  She has a very long and difficult road in front of her and is going to need every single prayer and good thought so please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.  Just as a parent should never outlive a child a dog should never outlive a parent.  If you would like to send her a card you can send Bentley or Pokey a PM for the address. 
          Speaking of Pokey he is going to be 14 this year and he is slowing down like all older dogs do and needs some prayers to keep the old legs and heart pumping.  And his Mom has had more healthy problems than the population of a small Polynesian island.  Back problems, arm problems, leg problems.  If it supports weight and bends it is causing her pain.  Please says prayers for many more healthy days for Pokey and for his Mom’s pain to ease so she can live the normal life that has eluded her for so long.
          We have been asking for prayers for Nigel for some time now as he still is suffering from a bad heart so please keep them going.  This past week his Dad David spent several days in the hospital with terrible back pain and a high fever that baffled his doctors.  Nigel’s poor Mom was nurse maid to her husband then running home to be nurse maid to Nigel.  As of this writing Nigel’s Dad is back home.  The doctors have determined he has a viral infection of unknown origin and both he and Nigel need some prayers to get, and stay healthy.
          Another pup with heart problems is Paco our friend from Italy.  Each time he goes to the vet we receive news that his heart is growing weaker.  But Paco is a fighter who desperately wants to stay with his Mom, especially at this time when her own Mom is very ill and needs our prayers.  So please included sweet Paco and his Grandmom in your prayers.
          Our friend Max’s grandmom needs some prayers for good health too.  Some of you may remember her as Ladybug’s Mom.  We aren’t sure of her specific medical issues but we know they are serious and any help she can get will be greatly appreciated.
          Our friends Chelsea and Ashton’s Mom took a fall on the stairs this week.  She is from Texas and as you know everything is bigger in Texas so it must have been a bad fall.  Please send prayers her way.   
          Our good friend, the Triple T’s Mom, Aunt Linda, is trying to take positive steps to improve her health by stopping smoking.  This is one of the most difficult tests a human can undergo.  She’s determined to make it but she is going to need lots of positive prayers and pup energy.
          Also needing prayers is Daisy Mae’s Mom who is currently quite sick and is on oxygen.  We don’t know the specifics of her disease but know that she too needs all the prayers and positing pup energy she can get to get over this illness.
          And we still have plenty of pups in need of prayer whose parents are healthy, but very worried about their beloved babies including Smoochy, who is still suffering from MRSA and now has an ear infection, MacDougal and Ju Ju who are still undergoing tests and Sandy who is recovering from a stroke.  I am looking for lots of prayers for all of them.

          Please keep the prayers coming in.  I would rather be flying prayers up the mountain for 1,000 dogs and humans than swear in a new member of the Bridge.

Friday, January 9, 2015

Ask Aunt Foley: The Rabbits Are Scheming

          Dear Aunt Foley:   I live in a house with a barn.  At the barn we have a burn pit.  Once a year, in the winter, my Dad burns old tree limbs, excess lumber and other items.   Dad prefers to burn when there is snow on the ground so the fire does not spread.  This week burn pit day came.  I was chilling outside with my brother Kane when we saw a trespassing rabbit and we cannot abide a trespassing rabbit on our property so I chased it.  The stupid rabbit ran right into the fire pit and I followed.  I singed the hair off my lower legs but was otherwise unhurt.  Meanwhile the rabbit escaped unscathed.  Do you think the rabbit ran into the fire on purpose? – Damaged Daisy
          Dear Damaged Daisy:  Of course that rabbit did it on purpose.  Let me tell you about these rabbits Daisy, they are getting smarter, and they are scheming against us.  So we need to be smarter too.  Why back in my day you just chased a rabbit down and ripped it apart, and they were glad, glad I say, just happy for the attention but this new breed of rabbit they think they have all sorts of rights and things and now they have gone so far as to lead us into a fire.  Well I have an important piece of advice for you my dear friend.
          Don’t run into the fire!  Now please understand.  I know you didn’t mean to run into the fire.  You just let your instinct take over but the Bridge is busting at the seams with dogs who arrived here because they were following their instincts and got hit by a car, or drowned, or ran into a fire.  And now that the rabbits have figured out how to manipulate our instincts so they can gain the upper hand on us we must be doubly diligent not to let them trick us anymore.
          But what really worries me about this incident isn’t that the rabbit ran into the fire to trap you but that he ran out of the fire.  What exactly does that mean?  Is this a zombie rabbit?  A vampire rabbit?  An immortal rabbit?  I knew it the minute I read Watership Down.  These rabbits have gotten uppity and much smarter.  Damn that Hazel.
          I am going to personally investigate this rabbit thing but until I have an answer please don’t run into any more fires.

      You can read more of Foley's adventures HERE



Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Our book Small Tales is now for sale on Amazon

I, Judge Foley Monster, am proud to announce that my life’s work, five years of the best of my blogs (and some stuff by Pocket too) have been collected by my minions into a single volume titled “Small Tales:  The Big Adventures of Two Tiny Terriers.”  If you would like to purchase a copy you can do so on Amazon using this link:


In this collection are some of my finest adventures:  Causing an international incident by not letting a black kitty in her house; rescuing a lost kitty from a group of gangster cats; rescuing of a skunk from a snow bank; Pocket’s wild balloon ride across the country; our visit to the land of Oz; Pocket’s run for the US Senate; our raid on the Princess’ castle; and stories about our struggles to train our parents.
Plus some of you might find your names in my Aunt Ask Foley chapter or if you took part in our adventures.  And many of you and your Moms or Dads are mentioned in our acknowledgements. 
There are several drawings by our friend Zoe Boe’s Mom Connie Gross including a fantastic cover which is worth the price of the book alone. 
So if you like please purchase the book.  Or you could go on our website and read all the blogs for free.  But you can swat a pesky mosquito with the book and if you do that with your computer it is going to cost you hundreds of dollars in repairs. If you swat a mosquito with the book it costs less than $10.00 so buying this books saves you hundreds of dollars in computer repairs and is guaranteed to kill some flies. 
Thank you for your consideration and for helping create my stories and being my very good friends.

With great love and appreciation your humble servant Foley Monster

Sunday, January 4, 2015

Not-Nike is our January 4, 2015 Pup of the Week

          Earlier this year I wrote about Nike, a poor puppy who arrived at the Bridge after being caught in a flash flood in Arizona.  The flood spilled into his house and pulled him out the doggy door where he drowned.  The completely foolish way Nike passed to the Bridge caused me to rail against the Big Guy.  The stupidity of it all.  A little dog dying during a flood in the desert.  Unbelievable!
          Just last week I gave an update on Nike.  She was running with Greta, another young pup, keeping her company through the fields and meadows, laughing all the way.  And with that I vowed never to write about Nike’s unfortunate passing again.
          Until this week when Nike’s Mom posted a blog on her Doggyspace page stating that her account had been hacked and that everyone in her pack, including Nike, was fine.  Meaning that when I posted about her being swept away in a flood I was wrooo, I was wroooo, I was not completely right.
          But worse than that was who I found sitting in my living room this morning.  It was the Big Guy.  “Foley, do you remember that dog Nike who supposedly drowned in a flood in Arizona?”  I barely nodded. “Do you remember blaming me for it and telling me you thought it sucked?”  I nodded.  “Is that what happened?”  I shook my head.  “Do you know what happened?’  I shook my head again.  “Do you think you should find out what happened?”  I nodded again.  “That’s good,” he said rising, “because, like you said to me, I think it sucks.”
          Gulp.
          I went to the field where I knew Greta and this dog not named Nike were playing.  I whistled for them and they both came running over.  I gave Greta a treat and told her to keep playing in the field and then asked Not-Nike to sit down next to me.  We started with small talk and then I asked her about her passing and she repeated her story.  Then I told her what I knew, that she had lied about who she was, taking the identity of a living dog.
          Not-Nike shifted uncomfortably on the ground.  “You’re right, I lied.  I am not Nike.  I’m really not any dog,” she said softly.  “I was born in a shelter and I was put up for adoption.  No one claimed me and I was put down.  I never knew love in my life, never knew companionship, and I wanted to be someone.”
          She took another big sigh.  “While I was in the shelter I heard rumor of Judge Foley Monster who swore in dogs who came to the Bridge and wrote wonderful stories about them being heroes, and while I was no one’s hero on the mortal side of the Bridge I thought I could be on the immortal side.”  She told me she would leave her friend Greta and this spot on the Bridge and find some place to live on the immortal side as she did on the mortal side, alone and unnoticed.
          A small tear ran down Not-Nike’s face.  I put my paw on her shoulder and I told her I understood why she did what she did, and for her to remember that every dog, even if they have never been loved by a human, is a hero.  Then I rechristened her Athena, who, in mythology was Nike’s sister.  I told her to go running with Greta, that she would still be welcome at Tommy’s mansion and Otie’s drug store, and that she would never be alone again.  She is one of us, as are all dogs.
          I watched Athena run off and begin to play with Greta again, and I made a note to check with any pup parents who crosses the River of Life and ask them if they would like to give an immortal dog the love she never got in her mortal life.  I was feeling pretty good about myself when I got back home and found the Big Guy sitting in my chair.
          He asked me if I had talked with Not-Nike who was now Athena and I said yes.  Then he asked me for her story and I told it, and then told him my decision.
          He smiled at me.  “So you forgave this Not-Nike Athena dog?” The Big Guy asked.  I told him I had.
          “Wow, to be forgiven by Judge Foley Monster,” the Big Guy said rising.  “I’ve never experienced that before,” he said as he glided out of the room.
          Snarky.
          But I wasn’t going to let it bother me.  I headed back to the fields to run with Greta and my new friend Athena. 
          No matter what their name every dog is a hero.        

Friday, January 2, 2015

Ask Aunt Foley



            Dear Aunt Foley:   My Mommy has been thinking about getting us one of those raised beds.  What can you tell me about them? – Cheyenne and Kaizer
            Dear Cheyenne and Kazier:  The first thing I need to tell you is that raised beds are all a matter of perspective.  To a Yorkie everything is a raised bed.  Put a little pillow on the floor it’s a raised bed to us.  Heck put a towel on the floor and we have to step up to get there.
            You probably don’t have that problem being a big dog.  I don’t want to go off on a tangent but big dogs have it easy. If you have never felt the frustration of trying to jump off a couch only to embarrassingly bounce off the top cushion you don’t know frustration.
            In fact in my book the only raised bed a dog should sleep in is the raised bed that Mommy and Daddy sleep in.  If any human would like to make millions of dollars they should go on Shark Tank with the idea of a bigger bed than the King size bed.  The Dog Sized bed which would dwarf the kind sized bed and make room for everyone.
            But back to your original question.  These beds are great for dogs who sleep on cold floors.  Shelters like to have them because many of the shelters have cement floors.  If you are sleeping on a rug or a floor that is not cold then you probably don’t need them.
            But if it makes your Mom happy then let go for it and make yourself comfortable.  You will get nice and snuggled on it and your Mom will feel good about making it happen so the least you can do is do this for your Mom.