A scared, wet black dog is our March 4, 2012 Pup of the Week

We are here to honor a wet, scared dog who lives next door to our friends Sandy, Maggie and Nikki and their wonderful parents.

On Friday their home got attacked by the weather demons.  Rain fell in vicious, skin cutting sheets.  Lightning lit up the sky so constantly a minor league baseball game could have been played without a single light bulb..  The wind howled with such intensity that earth bound squirrels took flight.  Hail slammed to the ground like Angry Birds gone mad.  The moon held water and the clouds swirled towards the ground looking to create a destructive path unconcerned with life, limb or property.  The only thing pups and parents could do was to get to the low ground and pray.  Sandy, Maggie, Nikki and their parents were doing exactly that when they noticed their neighbors, who live in a camper, hightailing it out of their wheeled abode.  Then they noticed the fleeing family’s pup abandoned, chasing them down the road.

The poor pup almost gets clipped by other drivers searching for higher ground.  Our terrific trio of pups’ Dad tried to cal the scared dog,, who had retreated to his yard, separated from their yard by a fence.  The scared dog would come to the edge of the fence, peer around, then retreat when brave Daddy took a step towards him.   Then ferocious Mom went out, into the storm.  She sat in the driveway, sweetly calling the scared dog, trying to get him to shelter.   Finally, he recognized what a sweet Mommy was like, and he came around the fence to her.  The scared, wet dog came to the brave, wet woman, and sat between her legs.  Her gave her sweet kisses than laid on his back on the wet driveway to be rubbed.  Once she gained the scared dog’s confidence she put food and water under the porch where she knew he would be safe and the dog climbed underneath happily.

Nikki, Sandy, and Maggie were very proud of their Mom, even though, before this incident, they had sent mutual snaps and growls across the fence.  And everyone knew Angel Bo had been next to the scared dog, softly whispering in its ear, saying it was safe, go to her.  Thankfully everyone was safe from the terrible storm.

When his humans returned the dog went back to his family.   The next day the Mom of Nikki, Sandy and Maggie, now known as Lea, Warrior Princess, went over to confront the owners who left their dog behind.  The dog’s human said that he was more interested in saving his family not his dog.  Lea, Warrior Princess told them that was a terrible attitude.  It then devolved into an argument about if the frightened pup comes into their yard too often starting problems with Nikki, Sandy and Maggie.  The scared pup’s Daddy said “so what if he does?”

We are surrounded by so many great pup owners we forget how many terrible ones there are.  There have been several humans who feel they should rescue this dog from his terrible owners, but these are his humans, and we are dogs, and while we may be mistreated, we still love our humans, because that’s why we’re here.

I do know a little bit about what this dog went through.  Sometimes my Mommy rolls over and takes most of the blankets.  Pocket tells me it’s not the same thing. *Shrugs*  But no matter her blanket hogging tendencies I still love my Mom.  

So this is to Nikki, Maggie, Sandy, Angel Bo and one wet lonely dog.  And to Aunt Lea, Warrior Princes.  You did all Moms proud.

Best in show? I say no

Pocket and I have watched the Westminster Kennel Club Dog show over and over and we have to tell you, we don’t get it.  When they line up those dogs for best in breed every dog looks exactly the same.  Where do we celebrate our individuality?

Pocket and I are in the Toy Group.  We are not happy about this.  We are not toys.  We are street smart, tough, small dogs.    If you pick us up do we squeak?  Well, OK, we do, but that is besides the point.  Do children fall in love with us instantly and want to play with us?  OK, that’s another yes.  When we sit very still in the window do people mistake us for fluffy toys?  Well, yes, true.  Maybe you can change it to the Rugged Toy Group.

Here are the breed characteristics for us Yorkies”

Overall
To be best in show I would have to have long hair.  Sorry Ringo.  This isn’t for me.  I don’t want to get my long snarls brushed every day.  And gosh knows what I would pick up on my walk.  And when I vick, how do I keep the hair out?   Do I have to walk on my front legs.  The whole long hair thing seems like a bad idea to me.  I don’t know why short haired Yorkies can’t be considered.  Personally I think both Pocket and I are beautiful dogs with short hair.  It says we should hold ourhead high and have an appearance of self-importance.  I think I have that one under control.  


Head
My head is supposed to be flat on top.  I don’t know what that means.  Am I supposed to walk around with a book on my head?   When I am at the groomers, and I bark that a dog is a flat head, it’s not a compliment.  My teeth are a problem, I’m missing a few.  Plus I have an over bite.  It is actually one of my best features because it makes my tongue stick out.   I don’t know how Pocket’s bite is except it hurt likes heck.  The nose needs to be black.  What other color could it be?  Well it could be brown because we have either eaten something we shouldn’t or really want Mom to like us.  Our eyes need to be sparkling with a sharp intelligent expression.  I think we have nice eyes.  But does it mean anything if our blog is sparkling with sharp intelligent expression  Also out eyes should be carried erect.  But if your eyes stay erect for more than four hours call your vet.

Body
Our bodies are supposed to be well proportioned and compact.  Well, I’m well proportioned and Pocket is compact.  Our shoulders should be the same height as our rump.  I am going to have to find my Suzanne Somers video to make that happen.  

Legs
It states our forelegs should be straight, our elbows either in nor out.  Excuse me:  But to be best is show I have to have elbows on my legs?  I think not.   Our hind legs stifles should be bent.  What the hell is a stifle, and why was Archie Bunker always ordering Edith to get him one>  Have you ever gone to the vet and told him you had an ache in your stifle?  How are you supposed to bend a body part we don’t know we have?  We also should have black toenails.  But what about my pedicures?  What lollipop would choose best in show over great nails?   Our declaws are also removed.  I have to ask:  If best in show is the best breed standard, why all the cosmetic surgery?

Tail
Our tail is to be docked to a medium length.  OK, this is where I waive the tail feather.  Yorkie tails are beautiful, leave us alone and let us fly our freak flag.  There is something wrong with a people who will dock your tail but leave your reproductives in place.  Then again there is something wrong with cutting off our reproductives and not docking our tail.  You people can’t wait to snip and clip can you?  It is like you all have Edward Scissorhand envy.  New  rule between dog and man:  You don’t clip and we don’t nip.  Or better yet you don’t dock and we won’t talk about your little clock.

Coat
Quality, texture and quantity of coat are of prime importance which are all things my Daddy said didn’t matter.  Our hair must be straight, not wavy, which is a real blow to the doggy mousse industry.  The rules say it should be floor length. Look, I like to clean the floor with my tongue but I’m not a swifter.  Oh and I should have a bow in my hair.  Why should I have to get myself dressed up pretty?  What am I some sweet harlot looking to pick up a Johnny Fun Time?  Personally I love our short haired looks.  Frankly I don’t have time to do my hair in the morning.

Colors
Puppies are born black and tan and are normally darker in body color, which makes Rick Santorum want to vomit.  The color of our hair continues to be important through life.  When I was in my rebellious age, three through five, I had a pink Mohawk.  That really set back my show dog career..  The richness of the tan on our head is important so apparently we need to resemble a drat of Guinness.  Also we need to be a dark steel-blue not a silver blue.  Personally I have had the I lost my ovaries blue for a long time.

Color on Body
Our blues have to extend over our body from the neck to the root of our tale.  Note:  In 1967 BB King had a top then hit with How Blue is My Tail?

Headfall
I don’t want to know what this means.  And I don’t want to know.  When I was Queen Yorkie in France I was know for saying “Let them eat kibble.”  Lots of pups lost their head of that one but I escape with mine.  

Chest and Legs
I’m not sure what they are going for here but I am sure implants are not appreciated.
.
Weight
Must not exceed seven pounds.  I don’t agree with this at all.  I think we are creating bulimic pups.  I weigh slightly over seven pounds.  Let’s here it for all the real lollipops with curves.  Woof, woof.

So neither Pocket or I will ever be best in show.  But we’re best in our house.  I don’t have a problem with show dogs.  They all seem like good pups to me.  But to our owners we don’t need a list of rules about what makes us perfect.  They know we are all truly perfect at heart.

Playing blog tag with Koli and Feli, and tagging two French Bulldogs

I checked out my good friend Koli’s blog http://www.kolchakpuggle.com/ a few days ago.  Koli said he loves to play tag.  Pocket like to play chasing games.  I like games where I get picked up, snuggled, and give licks.  So I am thinking oh Koly you sucker.

The idea of Koly getting tagged amused me.  And then I got to the end of the blog and found out that Koly tagged me.  Oh boo laa laa.   Then Pocket reminded me that I am considered a senior dog and I said, wait a minute, I think I can tag, I think I can tag, i think I can tag, I think I can tag, I can tag!  Look at me tagging!

After exhausting myself I re-read the blog and found out it was blog tagging.  Wow it was like reading War and Peace then finding out there was a movie.  So I have to answer some questions to qualify to tag someone else.  So here we go.  

#1: Describe yourself in 7 words
Beautiful Yorkie Lollipop Queen of all media

#2: What keeps you up at night?
Human farts.  Can we talk?  If you sleep in bed with Mommy and Daddy you know what I mean.   All night long it’s toot toot toot.  It’s like sleeping with the Miami Horns.  And the smell!  Not that I don’t like the smell.  I love the smell.  But you humans you need to understand.  When we’re under the covers and you fart”  First, it wakes us up.  Then comes the smell.  Have you, human, ever walked in a house and smelled delicious cookies baking and knew you couldn’t eat one?  That’s what it’s like when a human toots under a blanket.

#3: Who would you like to be?
Whether I'm right or whether I'm wrong
Whether I find a place in this world or never belong
I gotta be me, I've gotta be me
What else can I be but what I am

#4: What are you wearing right now?
I’m not that type of lollipop perv.  But, for all you Joan Rangers out there, I am wearing my red and black sweater that Smoochy’s Mom bought for me.  And I am best dressed.

#5: What scares you?
Oh the usual.  Dying alone.  Not making the mortgage .  The situation in Syria.  No, I’m just being silly.  There is only one ting that scares me.  That when Mommy and Daddy go out they won’t come back.  Everything else is just momentary problems.  But Mom and Dad are my everything.  

#6: The best and worst of blogging?
Well Pocket and I just love the feedback.  A lot.  There is nothing that makes us prouder than hearing that we made you smile.  Sometimes we even take satisfaction that we made you cry, if that was our intent.  If we wanted to make you laugh and your cried. that’s a problem.

The worst part is when we’re trying to think of a blog. Sometimes I just wait for Pocket or Daddy to do something silly.  Doesn’t take too long.  In those rare instances when that doesn’t happen I might have to look up dog news.  But usually Daddy and Pocket don’t let me down.

#7: Last website You Visited?
It was the Tanner Brigade.  We are working on a super secret special project.  We will be announcing it soon.  We also visited Twitter, Facebook and Blogger where we have lots of friends and Google Plus where, I think, they think we are freaks.  

#8: What is one thing I would change about myself?
What. are you serious?  Have you seen me?  I have it going on.  Maybe a little less girth but not much.  Or being a better speller.  Maybe a few years younger.  But you know what?  I’m a dog and unlike humans we are very content with who we are

#9: Slankets: yes or no?
We do have sweaters and coats but no slankets.  I like being warm but am not crazy about being hot.  I spend most of the night sleeping above the covers.  Not six feet over the covers, I am not possessed, but lying on top of them.  Mommy has a snuggly.  I like lying on top of it.  If I got a slanket I would lie on top of it.  Is that bad form?

#10: Tell us something about the dogs that tagged you.
Oh what can’t we tell you about Kolchak and Felix.  We go to them for everything.  For advice in food, for blogging advice, for good friendship which they have plenty of.  They are truly an inspiration in this blogging world of ours.  They did all the work to change our blog.  They have helped us promote it.  And they did it for nothing.  (Well, Aunt Jodi stole our couch.)   In our opinion Aunt Jodi, Kolchak and Felix are the best even if they are Canadian.  The day we met them is our gotcha day because it’s a day we met such great friends  

Alright folks, YOU'RE IT!   
Who to tag?  Who to tag?  I tag:  Benny and Lily, of http://www.twofrenchbulldogs.com/ /  Let’s see what you have your terrifically fun pair.  

Thank you Mr Tunes you wonderful breed of a dog

Look at the wonderful gift Mr. Tunes sent to us.  The picture does not do it justice (my photographers are terrible.)

Thank you so much Tommy and his very well trained Dad Steve.  This meant a great deal to us.  We are blessed to call you our friends.  You  fill the hearts of all your friends with love and understanding.  We are all dogs who sometimes stray but you are our Shepard always leading us to peace and safety.  We are so proud to have the privilege to call you friend. 

Erin and Max are our February 26, 2012 pups of the week

We recognize two pups this week.  Two pups who will probably never read this.  Two pups whose Moms won’t be able to read this either.  If a pup of week is recognized in a forest and they aren’t there for the ceremony do they know it?  Doesn’t matter.  When it comes to pups of the week I go by my heart.  

One of these pups you have never (excepting one.)  The other you know well but haven’t seen in a long time.  And I owe tracking them down to the intrepid Hobo Hudson.  If you are unfamiliar with his wonderful writings you can read them here, and his Mom’s columns here.  Both are very informative.

While Hobo is as good a dog who has ever barked a tree we are here to thank him, not to honor him.

The first is the dog we have never met.  His name is Max.  He doesn’t have a computer profile anywhere.  He is Interneterlly homeless.  But when it comes to real homes he is very lucky.  His name is Max and he is the brother of one of our most beloved Bridge friends:  Ladybug.  Since Ladybug went to the Bridge we haven’t heard much from her.  But sometimes these sites are too painful to come to for our Moms after we go to the Bridge.



But Max’s Mom hasn’t been able to get on the computer.  She has had family problems, and she has had bad arthritis.  The kind that keeps are Mom’s off the computer.  The kind that keeps her from all the friends she has made in the social dog world.   I can’t imagine how sad that would make both my Mom and me.  To know that all our friends are just on the other side of that keyboard but not being able to get to them.  My Mommy has bad arthritis in her legs and back.  It hasn’t reached her hands yet.  Sometimes the Bridge separates us from our friends.  Sometimes it’s the pain of Earth that does.  If Max ever reads this I want him to know that I was Ladybug’s friend and even though we haven’t barked, I am his.

Our second Pup we recognize is well known on The Tanner Brigade, in the blogging world, and for those long time members of DS.  She is a German Shepard called Erin and her mother’s named is Donna.  Together they taught many of the older members of DS, and many other dog  bloggers, the ability to design their own pages.  She showed an enormous amount of patience with us bloggers, who weren’t very smart.


It seems to many of us that there wouldn’t be any dog blogging if it wasn’t for Erin.  It’s like she created the entire medium.  She certainly did a lot to improve our blog pages.  Her Freedom to Bark blog is still up here.

She too, because of physical problems has not been able to be on the computer.  Erin not being on the computer is like Michael Jordan not being able to play basketball.  Like Max’s Mom we miss her friendship and her humor.  And I know it is hell for her not to be able to bark at her good friends.

So this is for Max and Erin and their Mom’s.  You are in our heart always and hopefully you will be on our pages soon.  Until then we will keep praying. 

Foley learns she is a Senior Dog

It was an average Saturday night.  I was surfing the Internet looking for images of dogs in submissive poses when I incorrectly pawed the search engine and found an article on how to care for your senior dog.  

I have never considered myself a senior.  I am young, spry, have a cutting edge sense of humor, I am down with the the snizzle, and can more than handle my four year old sister.  I am still in my prime.

But according to this article not only was I no longer in my prime, I was four years past.  I read in disbelief that dogs become Seniors at age seven.  I am close to lapping Senior.  What comes after Senior?  Senor Wences?  If you understand the reference, you are a Senior.

Something this article says that I do agree with is that I need more attention and care.  I should get more lap time.  I should get all the belly rubs.  Pocket is four.  She should spend her days hunting and gathering.  She is in her prime.  She should be giving me portions of her food.  She should hold my paw as I cross the street.  She should be checking on my during power outages and bad snow storms.


The article said that “ideally” I should be seen by a veterinarian every six months.  Yes, and “Ideally” I would have fresh chicken every night.  The person who said this is, of course, is a veterinarian who would cash in on these twice yearly pinching, prodding, and butt violating humiliations.  She is from up Smoochy’s way in Wisconson.  Her name is Stephanie Sosniak.  Now that’s a made up name if I ever heard one.  She is probably in the veterinary vetness protection program.  Probably misdiagnosed Gotti’s Goldy with gout.    If you take nothing else from this blog take this:  Seniors shouldn’t see Stephanie Sosniak.

The second paragraph dealt with dental care.  I am a very friendly dog who goes for many walks here in our village of the pruned.  Many of the pruned people bend down to rub me and talk to me.  Take my word for it:  We aren’t the ones with dental of breath problems.

Regardless I do get dental care frequently.  After much debate, whining, crying, and hiding we finally got Daddy out from behind the rocker to provide dental care.  Since neither Pocket or I will tolerate anything being jammed into our tiny mouths (unlike the dreaded thermometer we have a spray for our teeth.  We still hide whenever we see the spray bottle.  Daddy pulls back our lips and blasts our teeth the rubs it in while we are stunned from the spraying.  Frankly I find this to be a major violation and something that should be litigated.  But darn I’m so addicted to the minty fresh taste I’m ready to bathe with Whitney.  (If you think it’s too soon remember, I live in doggy time, and to me it’s been weeks.)

My parents need to monitor me for changes in behavior.  If I go from grumpy to b*tchy they should take notice.  They do watch for changes in my appetite and thirst which is a pain because some days I’m just thirsty.  I appreciate them watching over me but they do when I pee, poo, drink, eat.  Sometimes a lollipop just needs her privacy.


And stop worrying about my weight.  I weigh seven pounds.  People deliver babies bigger than that.  How something my size fits out of there, that I don’t know.

And then there is exercise.  I don’t mind.  But sometimes I just come to a full stop and get pulled for awhile.  I think it’s just me being ornery then me not wanting to walk.  But I am not chasing that stupid ball like Pocket.

So in summation here is what I took from the article.  I must accept that I am a senior dog and I need to make some changes.  I definitely need more attention.  But only the good kind, the more treats, the more food, the more laps, if I am in the mood the more exercise.  And I just can’t quit that minty tooth stuff.  But as for the weight and water and more vet appointments and watching me all the time back off.  I’ll let you know if there is a problem.

And remember, it is not nice to talk about a ladies’ weight or age.  I am just a well seasoned and mature lollipop and those are the best. 

Shiloh is our February 19, 2012 Pup of the Week

Blogs like this are my favorite to write..  I enjoy it because there is not a touch of sadness in this.  It is about joy, and about the wonderful endeavours that same pups do for no other reason than just to put a smile on another pup’s mug.  Sometimes, in the hard times, there are no better gifts we can give than smiles.  

Shiloh the Star Gazer has set out on a quest to put smiles on as many pups faces as possible.  She has done so by reaching out to our friends for help.  And she wisely used subterfuge to get it done.

She wanted to do a picture books for two pups.  The wonderful Tommy Tunes and the noble Leo the Chow.  But how do you keep a secret like that?  Well, I don’t know if she looked to the stars for answers of if she is the most clever pup there is.  She told Leo they were doing a book for Tommy, told Tommy they were doing a book for Leo, and then contacted all their friends and told them to not whisper a word,  but she was actually making books for both of them.  Pups sent Shiloh a page with pictures and comments for Tommy and another pager with pictures and comments for Leo.  

Whenever Shiloh wrote about the books, Tommy thought she was writing about Leo’s book, and Leo thought she was writing about Tommy’s book.  And we all went along with it because it was such a neat trick and we were all kind of confused.

Shiloh’s parents then made lovely books with wooden covers and she sent them out to Tommy and to Leo.  Needless to say they were both thrilled and moved by the gesture and thanked us all, but the truth was the only one who deserved thanks was Shloh for the brilliant, kind idea she had, and for the honor of letting us participate in the act of kindness.

Shiloh chose not just to rest on her kind laurels.  A friend of ours is going through some tough times and it was Shiloh who popped up and said we need to do something kind for this friend.   We don’t want to say who it is here because we don’t want to spoil the day in case the reads this but it is another sign of what a nice and special dog that Shiloh is.  

Shiloh also helps us plan our months with her wonderful astrological predictions.  I wouldn’t know which way to chase a squirrel up a tree with Shiloh.

Last year I was Shiloh’s Secret Bub.  I had a wonderful time sending her toys and keeping her confused with riddles.  When we were done Shiloh sent us a wonderful hand made key box.  She’s just the sweetest pup.

So it isn’t a big picture book, or a key box, it’s just a simple blog.  But we are writing it to thank Shloh and her parents for being the sweetest pup and owners in the world.