Foley Represents Floyd the Carpet Eater

Today on Judge Judy.....

Announcer - This is the plaintiff:  She is known as Dougall’s and Floyd’s Mom who writes this blog.    She came home one day to find her boxer Floyd eating the carpet and put him in his crate.  She says he has misbehaved and lost his chance at freedom.

This is the defendant:  Floyd who is represented by Foley Monster Attorney at Paw.  Floyd  says he was just inspecting the carpet when his Mom came home and found him.  He claims he did nothing wrong and was framed.  He is accused of being a carpet eater.

Bird:  Grumble, grumble, all rise.

~Judge Judy comes out and sits on the bench~

Judge Judy:   Are you Mr. Floyd?

Floyd:  Yes I am your honor.

Judge Judy:  And this Miss Foley Monster she is your attorney?

Foley Monster:  That is right your honor.

Judge Judy:  Well Mr Floyd I wish you luck.  Miss Foley Monster is no stranger to this court and I don’t think she had won a case yet isn’t that so Miss Foley Monster?

Foley Monster:  I believe that was beginner’s unluck.

Judge Judy:  Well we shall see about that.  Now, Floyd’s Mom, you had some carpets damaged and you believe the defendant is responsible.  I will hear you now.

Floyd’s Mom:  I came home one day and I found the carpet was ripped up and Floyd had a large strip of carpet in his teeth.

Judge Judy:  Do you have any witness to the crime?

Floyd’s Mom  Yes I have his brother Douggal.

Judge Judy:  Douggal will you please tell the court what you saw on the date in questoin.

Douggal:  I saw Floyd ripping apart the rug with his teeth.

Floyd:  Mom always liked you best.

Douggal:  That’s because I don’t eat the carpet.

Judge Judy:  ~Sharply~ Do not address one another.  Do you have anything else.?

Floyd’s Mom:  No.

Judge Judy:  All right Miss Monster we will hear your side.

Foley Monster:  Judge, we will capitulate that Floyd’s Mom did come home and find him ripping apart the rug but she did not know the reason why.  Your honor Floyd’s Mom’s house has been infected by carpet bugs.

Judge Judy ~Leans back,  bug eyed with a stunned expression ~ Carpet bugs?  That’s ridiculous.  There are no such thing as carpet bugs.  Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining.

Foley Monster:  That was my sister Pocket Dog with the peeing problem your honor.  She’s almost got it licked.

Judge Judy:  I don’t want to hear about your licking Foley you understand me?  Now back to this ridiculous claim of carpet bugs.

Foley Monster:  They are real things your honor.  They came about when bed bugs mated with carpenter ants.  They are under a lot of carpets.  Do you have any carpet in the courthouse?

Bird:  Your office has carpet, grumble, mumble, grumble.

Judge Judy:  Fine.  We will go to my office and check the carpet.

~Everyone follows Judge Judy into her office.~

Judge Judy:  All right Mr. Floyd.  You seem the be the expert carpet eater but if there is nothing found your Attorney is going to pay for my new carpet do you understand that Miss Monster?

Foley Monster:  Yes your honor.

Judge Judy>  All right Mr. Floyd, eat away.

~Floyd begins to rip up the carpet and bugs come out from under it.~

Foley Monster:  There it is your honor.  Carpet bugs.  

Bird:  Does are bugs mumble grumble.

Floyd’s Mom:  Oh my Floyd were there really carpet bugs under the rug?

Floyd:  ~Looks back and forth confused,~  Yes.  Yes those are the bugs I was looking for.

Floyd’s Mom:  I am so sorry Floyd.  Let me take you home and give you a treat.

Judge Judy:  Congratulations Foley Monster I believe you have won your first case.  Bird get someone to replace this rug.

Foley Monster:  Judge Judy do you mind if I use your office to call my Mom for a ride home?

Judge Judy:  I suppose but don’t pee on the floor and tell me it’s raining..

Foley Monster:  Thank you Judge Judy. ~Under her breath~ That pee thing isn’t old.  ~They leave.  Foley whistles for Pocket who comes out from under the desk.~  You did a great job with the bugs.  Where did you get them from?

Pocket:  I ordered them online.  I had to hide them before the trial.

Foley Monster:  Where did you hide them?

Pocket:  Under the rugs at our house.

Foley Monster: ~Hits herself in the head with her paw.~  Oh Pocket Mom is going to kill us.  We need to rip up the rugs.  ~Thinking~  Floyd?  Sharpen your teeth.  It’s time to pay your legal fees.

Wordless Wednesday

Summer is our March 10, 2013 Pup of the Week

Two weeks ago I named Chelsea, who is a very sweet girl, our Pup of the Week.  She sent me a beautiful thank you note but suggested she was not worthy.  The dog I should have recognized was Summer  While I think Chelsea was an excellent choice I agree with her about Summer, and, because she deserves it, and to make Chelsea’s wish come true, we name Summer Grace our Pup of the Week.  (Also, we must thank Chelsea for helping us with some of the information we relied upon in doing our writing.)

This story goes all the way back to before Thanksgiving.  And like Chelsea it came about because a growth was found that had to be removed.  Unlike Chelsea the news from the beginning was dire.  Summer was diagnosed with stage three mast cell cancer.  This was in the middle of her parents moving.  With the upheaval in their lives the last thing they needed emotionally and financially was for their beloved Summer Grave to take ill, but sometimes life plays mean tricks.

Summer had one surgery, then went back to the vet where her parents were given news that did nothing to encourage them.  They could do another surgery to widen the area of tissue they took then follow up with prednisone, or start either chemo or radiation.  There was a very good chance that the growth removed in the first surgery would come back.  While at the vets they did a test of her lymph nodes and got a rare bit of good news when the lymph nodes showed no signs of cancer.

Her parents decided to take Summer to a new vet and were hoping for a good visit.  They anticipated that she would greet the vet with “hiney wiggles and lots of prayers.”  Unfortunately they did not get the news they were hoping for.

The results were not good.  She spoke to the vet who had consulted with an oncologist  from the University of Missouri.  While the tests showed no signs of mast cells, and Summer was not showing any sign of illness, was eating well and had good energy, the doctors told her that another operation and prednisone would give her a 20% chance of living one more year, and chemo would give her a 50% chance of living two more years.  As her Mom said:  “I just keep thinking that they have her confused with another dog, it makes no sense to me. Can anyone help me make some sense of this?”

Summer then saw Dr Quigley.  The doctor thought with another surgery Summer would  have a better chance for a full recovery..  And the doctor inspired confidence in Summer and her Mom by getting on the floor with Summer and gratefully receiving kisses.

The decision was made to have Summer undergo a laser surgery to widen the margins of tissue taken.  Dr Quigley said she did great.  Summer had a ten inch incision, nine inches longer than her previous one. on her undercarriage.  They found a nodule at the site of the original mast cell and removed it.  She was put on prednisone, an antibiotic and a steroid.  The doctor hoped, if kept quiet, Summer could heal from the surgery in two weeks.

For the first few days everything went well   She was healing nicely, eating well, and did not have any reactions to the prednisone or the antibiotics.  She went on a walk, met her neighbors and checked out some deer droppings.  The sewing stitches were removed and the doctor said to continue her on the Prednisone.

But, as we all who love, try to care for, and keep from hurting themselves know, dogs are the worst patients.  After getting her stitches out Summer jumped from the recliner to greet her Dad at the door and split open her entire incision.  Her Mom’s heart broke as she saw the wound open again.  She put gauze on it, wrapped her in a white towel and took her to Dr Quigley who had to staple her back together.  The prednisone was hampering the healing and it would be another three weeks of trying to keep her quiet until she could back to her active, fun loving ways.  

Then she went back to Dr Quigley for even more staples.   Everything a pittie does, from barking to eating, is powered by their undercarriage, and those muscles are always in motion,  If the staples don’t work then she would have to regrow her own skin and it was doubtful she would grow hair in that spot.  Plus she had to wear a t-shirt to cover the incision so the staples did not get snagged.  Her Mom and family did not have a high confidence that the staples would heal the incision.  

A few days later the incision opened again at it’s widest part.  Her poor Mom was at wits end, saying she had never seen anything so hard to heal in her life.  It became more likely that Summer would have to regrow skin.  She had been cut down to one prednisone a day.  She also was putting peroxide on the incision but didn’t want to put anything else on it because she was afraid of loosening the staples.

A few days later Summer began to improve.  She was able to jump on the bed for the first time in months.   Her incision was healing nicely and the skin was starting to grow.  She was turning the corner.  

Then Summer’s Mom got a tip from Chappy’s Mom Vicki who told her about Vetericyn.  She put it on Summer’s incision and the next morning she saw healthy tissue growing in the exposed area of her incision.  Summer was even acting better.  

A few days later Summer had her staples taken out by Dr Quigley who said the healing looked good and the granulation in the center was healing nicely.  Summer was on the road to recovery.

Now what Summer needs is our prayers.  If she can make it through May without a recurrence of the cancer then she should be in the clear.  She has made it so far, and through so much, it just wouldn’t be fair if she wasn’t back to being her happy, normal self soon.

For those of you who have been praying right along I know you will keep it going, and any new prayers will be appreciated, so Summer can enjoy some very long Summer days.

Michael Vick's Second Chance

As many of you know our long time nemesis Michael Vick was allowed to get a dog.  I don’t want to anger anyone but I don’t see the problem with this.  In the aftermath of World War One Adolf Hitler was allowed to rearm Germany and that worked out fine.  Hold on I am getting a note from Pocket.  Oh, it seems that worked out badly.  Very, very badly.

Well, this is America, and people do deserve a second chance.  Like that quarterback, can’t think of his name, he played with the Falcons, and was the first pick of the draft.  In the beginning he played well, but then things started to fall apart. He got in trouble with some illegal substance at the airport.  Later he got arrested and went to jail for a reason I can’t recall.  He got out of jail, went to a new team, had a great season, and then two terrible seasons after that.  Wait, getting a note from Pocket.  Oh, he was named Michael Vick too.  Wow, what are the odds?

So Michael Vick, the man who ran a dog fighting ring from his house, has been reformed and has a new dog.  Well that’s good news.  I know he is going to be a good parent because I saw a picture of him attending training classes with his dog at Pet Smart.

Wait, what?

I don’t have a problem with Pet Smart.  Any store whose employees allow dogs to put their paws on the tiles and don’t care if we pee on it is aces with me.  Good food, good toys, good clothes, good people, good training classes, good everything.  I gave it five bones on Yap!  I’m just wondering why Michael Vick took his dog there to be trained.

When he had his dog fighting ring he didn’t go to the local dog fighting place, he made one right in his house, because that’s what celebrities do, they bring services to their houses.  So, how I figure it, the only reason Michael Vick took the whole family to the local Pet Smart was to get his picture taken so everyone who saw it would say “oh, look at Michael Vick the good pet owner.”  

So, Mr Vick, I must say I am not any more impressed with your second chance as a pet owner than I am with your second chance as a football player.  Seems like, in both instances, at the beginning, you did all the right things, but now you are in your second season as a dog owner, and instead of doing what is best for the team, wife, kids, and dog, you are doing what is best for you, getting your picture in the paper showing what a good dog owner you are instead of being a good dog owner.  

I predict that your comeback as a dog owner will be just like your comeback as a football player:  In the end, failure.  But, in football, only your team loses.  I’m afraid in this comeback, something much more precious will lose a whole lot more.

Wordless Wednesday

Foley Announces Her Resignation As Doggy Pope

Hello my fellow beloved dogs.  After much thought and prayer I have decided that, with my advancing age, it would be best if I stepped down as Doggy Pope.  I no longer feel that I can carry out the requirements of my duties and think another dog would better meet the needs of the dog church.

(I’m not really the Doggy Pope.   No bunch of little red birds elected me to anything.  I investigated things and realized that there was no Doggy Pope.  But wouldn’t it be cool to be Doggy Pope?  Then I thought some more.  It probably wouldn’t be that cool.  But Doggy Pope Emeritus, that would be cool.)

I have been honored to be your Doggy Pope.  I think that we have worked together to make the world a better place for dogs everywhere.  Today I called a meeting of the cardinals to discuss my retirement.

(I did meet with the cardinals today and told them I was stepping down as Doggy Pope and they told me they didn’t care about a Doggy Pope and to leave them alone, let them fly, eat their seed, make their nests and care for their eggs.  I promised to let them be.  Except David Freese who I made stay because he keeps Pocket entertained with his ball throws.)

I instructed the cardinals what kind of dog I think should succeed me and then we detailed plans to build a giant ten million dollar leopard fur vagiina kitty condo on the side of the Vatican. (Ca-ching!  I get ten extra kibbles when I write a sentence no one could ever have imagined seeing in print.)  I will stay here during my retirement where I will not comment on what the new Doggy Pope does except for eye rolls to my staff and clicks of the tongue while shaking my head.

The reason I wrote this is that I am hoping, in the confusion of being Pope less, the cardinals will build a million dollar leopard fur vagina kitty condo for me on the side of the Vatican.  Makes as much sense a building a million dollar condo for the new Pope.  That is like have George W Bush living in the maintenance shed in the White House.  Then again he might do less damage there.)

So I thank you all for being my great subjects.  I hope I did right by you.  I know I am supposed to give you my Pope anklet to be smashed but I am buried it and good luck finding it.  And my red booties too.  Also n I am keeping the Pope Doggy Stroller.  So now I retire from public life, unless the Queen doesn’t get better.  I can trade in my big hat for a crown in a second.  Good luck and goodbye.

Brody is our March 3, 2013 Pup of the Week

On Sunday’s we like to honor a dog who we refer to as our “Pup of the Week.”  There are a number of criteria Pocket and I use in picking our pup.  One of them is which pup caused the most concern amongst our online family.  In the past seven days no one has caused more concern than our friend Brody.

Brody is not a member of Doggyspace, although many members of DS know Brody through Facebook.  He is a wonderful pup, big brother to two wonderful children, Blake and Carly, and beloved best friend to his Mom Candice and her husband Jeff.  Those of us who have been lucky enough to know this family have followed them from when Brody was an only child, through the births of two human siblings, and watched him become a great protector.

We loved to tease Brody because he eats everything.  His friends often joked about Brody eating bigger and bigger things:  A car, a truck, a bus, a train.  But this week Brody ate something, we don’t know what it was, and none of us were laughing.

Because whatever Brody ate caused a blockage.  Brody first showed symptoms by throwing up, and then, in true Brody fashion, trying to lick it up.  Then he couldn’t keep water down.  His Mom took him to the vet who gave her some medication and told her they would have to hope the blockage passed.

But it didn’t.  Brody kept throwing up everything that went into his system.  It was clear that whatever Brody had eaten was going to have to come out through surgery.  In a hard economy with two young children no one needs a pet care bill close to $5,000 but, as Brody’s Mom said, she could not lose her best friend.

The surgery went well for Brody.  The blockage was removed.  He was very bruised for the IV and he had his belly shaved.  There is a very large scar on his body.  His family somehow made it through the night with him away without their best friend and protector.

Brody is home now, the crises is passed, but we are still very worried about him because he wants to eat everything he comes in contact with.  His parents are doing everything they can to Brody proof the house but it is very hard with two toddlers.

So Brody, our dear friend, please do all you can to eat only food, and Bridge Angels, when Brody wanders over to something he shouldn’t eat, smack him upside the head so he doesn’t eat it.

We love you Brody.  Please take better care of yourself.  We can’t imagine life without you.