Friday Fill In

 

It’s Fill-In-Friday brought to us by our two hosts at 15andmeowing and Four-Legged Furballs.   They give us four sentences with blanks for us to fill in. I filled, Ruby Rose, filled in the blanks in blue to the best of my ability.

1. I have trouble pronouncing``anything in English. I am flute in Grifforian, but no one else understands it. 

2. I tend to confuse my leg with  chew bones until I say “ouch.”

3. I quit smoking because lighting a match without opposable thumbs is a bitch

and when I use my mouth I singe my whiskers.

4. Currently, I can’t get the song Sweet Caroline  out of my mind. A bunch of fools singing along. “Bum, bum, bum” my ass. Like lemmings going over a cliff.

Poetry Thursday

My friends the Two Spoiled Cats have provided the following photo as inspiration for Poetry Thursday

Frankie had a dream

Of an open refrigerator door and free ice cream

Of being able to eat fish caught in a stream

And bread produced by sunbeam

Frankie had a partner named Gabor

Who shared his dream of opening the door

Ways to get into the refrigerator they both did explore

Raven, the caged parakeet, mocked the, saying “nevermore”

 

One night the dad came down for a midnight snack

And left the door open a crack

Frankie walked by and was taken aback

By the smell of cheese, probably cracker jack

To signal Gabor Frankie let a purr emit

And when she saw the door Gabor said “Holy shit”

All their dreams had come through if just for a little bit

Thanks to their dad, a forgetful  upperclass twit

They stood to look on the shelves that were anything but bare

Unfortunately all their plunder was in tupperware

And how to open these plastic devils they were not aware

After all their years of dreaming it just wasn’t fair;

Frankie had then sharpest claws of the two

And the them he tried to open it doing a push me pull you

When this did not work he tried to chew

And when this failed across the room it did flew

It skidded on the floor and hit a wall

And their dreams were answered once and for all

The lid came up and inside the fish did fall

And the kitties grabbed the fish and dashed away dashed away all

Perhaps their exploits deserved more than a comment

A grand poem or epic sonnet

When their parents woke up and saw them they knew what they would call itThe night the kitties raided the fridge, ate bread pudding, and ended up covered in vomit. 

Wordless Wednesday

 

Beat This Caption

 

Just as I suspected.

My balls are gone.

I imagine it happened during my vet appointment when I fell asleep.

The vet appointment you took me to.

Are you still going to continue to maintain the facade that you know nothing about what happened to my balls?

Memorial Day Question

 Do your parents have a memorial to their angels?

The above is my parents memorial tp their angels. It is in the living room 

The Ruby Rose Report: My Parent's Get a Good Report at the Vet

On Thursday I had a vet check up.

While I was being poked and prodded I realized I was nothing but the middle dog. 

They talked like the appointment was about me, but it wasn’t. A vet checkup is to judge our parents.

I came to this realization while I was being weighed, and my parents were congratulated that I lost a pound, that I had no control over my weight. I am neither a hunter or a gatherer. I am an eater and a digester. If I was allowed to eat what I wanted, and not have to survive in the wild, I would weigh two hundred pounds.

“Are you giving heartworm medication?” my parents were asked, and the tech was told that they did.

“That is good,” the tech said.

Frankly, I wasn’t even aware I was taking any heartworm medication. It might be the special treat that I get once a month and  tastes chalky, but I don’t mind. I lost a pound in a year. I am starving here!

 Then  they were asked about flea and tick medication, which I get sometimes, but since I am not out often they sometimes forget.

And the tech wrote sometime down on the pad.

Was their carelessness about flea and tick medication going to affect my chances at getting a squeaky toy when this ordeal was over.

Then came the doctor with her poking, prodding, and  probing. She said my teeth, coat, and eyes were good. I was back in the running for the squeaky toy.

Then came the assault and battery.

I got a pinch in the leg, a poke in the butt, and puff in the nose.

It was the way Indians in the midwest greeted the settlers, which kept the white men east of the Mississippi until the winter when  most of the women died and the Yankees crossed the river in search of living space and Indian strange.

Then after I had been violated in every hole I had my parents judgment was over, and they had passed, thanks to me keeping taut and healthy.

And I got a squeaky toy.

It is the least they could do after I made the humans look so good. 

                                

Friday Fill IN

It’s Fill-In-Friday brought to us by our two hosts at 15andmeowing and Four-Legged Furballs.   They give us four sentences with blanks for us to fill in. I filled, Ruby Rose, filled in the blanks to the best of my ability/

1. A day without pooping is like a cow without getting mi;led.

2. I find it rude when someone asks me who's a good girl, who's a good girl? Obviously. I’m the good girl and there is no need to belabor the point

3. I like to eat breakfast as early as possible. It increases the possibility my parent will forget and I will get the elusive second breakfast.

4. I tend to run late when try to do anything, so, I find the first warm lap and give up.