What are your parent’s plans for Christmas?
And what will you do?
My parents are going to Mommy’s nephew’s house for dinner.
Before my parents leave me alone I will bury the remote in my blanket and when they put me in my crate I will order lots of young penguin porn getting my revenge both financially and ruining their reputations
A woman from New York was getting her affairs in order. She wrote her will and made her final arrangements. As part of these arrangements she met with her rabbi to talk about what type of funeral service she wanted. She told her rabbi she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomindgales.
"Bloomingdales!" the rabbi said. "Why Bloomingdales?"
"That way, I know my daughters will visit me at least twice a week.
There was once a great actor, who had a problem. He could no longer remember his lines. Finally after many years he finds a theatre where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again. The director says,"This is the most important part, and it has only one line. You must walk onto the stage carrying a rose, you must hold the rose with just one finger and your thumb to your nose, sniff the rose deeply and then say the line... 'Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress.'" The actor is thrilled.All day long before the play he's practicing his line, over and over again. Finally the time came.
The curtain went up, the actor walked onto the stage, and with great passion, he delivered the line; "Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress".
The theatre erupted, the audience screamed with laughter... and the director was steaming! "You bloody fool!" he cried, "You have ruined me!"
The actor, quite bewildered, asked, "What happened, did I forget my line?" he asked.
"No!" the director screamed.... "You forgot the bloody rose!"
A film crew is on location in Kenya, when a tribal shaman approaches the director and says, "Tomorrow rain." The director pays no attention, but the following day it pours and shooting has to be delayed.
That night, the director sends his assistant to bring the shaman back. "What will be the weather tomorrow?" asks the director.
"Bigger rain tomorrow, much wind," and sure enough a terrible storm once again delays the filming.
But then the witch doctor disappears for a week and the director, now depending on him, sends his people out to find him and bring him back to camp.
Finally, he is located and brought to the director's tent. "What will be the weather tomorrow?" asks the director in desperation.
"No idea," says the shaman, "Radio batteries dead
Gather around the sleigh , its time for Friday Fill Ins There are four statements: the first two statements are written by 15AndMeowing, and the final two are done by Four-Legged Furballs. Please check them out. Here are this week's statements with my fill ins are in CAPITALS
THE SCORE TO DIE HARD is my favorite Christmas song, DESPITE MANY PEOPLE SAYING IT IS NOT REALLY CHRISTMAS MUSIC.
MY PAW PRINT MOLD is a Christmas decoration I treasure AND A REAL ANTIQUE. IT HAS BEEN IN MY FAMILY SINCE 2022.
Though it is the season for BUYING GIFTS, BEING STUCK IN TRAFFIC, SPENDING TOO MUCH MONEY, OVER DECORATING AND STRESS I much prefer to think THERE WAS ORIGINALLY A RELIGIOUS MEANING TO THE DAY.
If I could start a new Christmas tradition IT WOULD BE THAT NO DOGS OR CATS WOULD BE LEFT ALONE ON CHRISTMAS
My friend who is one spoiled cat gave me the picture below for the Thursday Poetry blog
They could not wait for their cousins to leave
That Santa was coming was something they believe
And at being good the two of them did over achieve
2
To seal the deal they would leave special food for Santa under the tree
They were convinced they had set themselves up for hundrrds of gifts for free
There was only one problem as fat as they could see,
Their cat Wounded and their dog Knee.
3
The Ellis girls warned their pets to leave the food alone
Or Santa would give them nothing and Wounded was counting on a bone
And the Ellis boys said if the food was touched they would both spend Christmas wearing an Elizabethan cone.
So Wounded and Knee swore to stay away from the Santa treat zone
4
But the pets were overcome with temptation
And they risked castration
Followed by a slow cooking cremation
To eat every bit of the Ellis kids culinary creations
5
Then they heard behind them Santa’s ho ho ho
And the pets cried no no no
And tried to go go go
So they weren’t caught and be neutered and cry like a soprano.
6
That is when Santa gave Wounded and Knee their greatest present they would ever get - quite a coup
An identical plates with food some of which Santa did chew
“The humans will never know,” Santa said then “Merry Christmas to you.”
And a relieved Wounded and Knee curled up under the tree in relief and within 15 minutes they had eaten the food left by Santa tool
What are your parent’s plans for Christmas? And what will you do? My parents are going to Mommy’s nephew’s house for dinner. Before my pare...
