Beat This Caption

 

Both Sara and Max woke up disgusted: Sara because her misuse of catnap had caused her to wake up with another rat and Max because he was a nasty, nasty racist

Monday Question

 How many times; not counting treats, do you eat a day?

and how many counting treats?

I get two meals one at breakfast and one at super time.

i get treats approximately seven times a day

Ruby’s Sunday Funnies

A family took their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and left her,hoping she would be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathed her,fed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.

She seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt sideways in her chair.Two attentive nurses immediately rushed up to catch her and straighten her up.

Again she seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt over to her other side.The nurses rushed back and once more brought her back upright. This went on all morning.Later, the family arrived to see how the old woman was adjusting to her new home.

"So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?"

"It's pretty nice," she replied. "Except they won't let me fart."

A mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago.

The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?"

The mother (who couldn't think of an answer), told her son to ask the flight attendant.

So the boy dutifully asked the flight attendant, "If dogs have baby dogs, and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?"

The flight attendant responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"

The little boy admitted that she did.

"Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Now, let your mother explain that to you."

Last summer Ed met a woman while on vacation and fell head over heels in love with her. On the last night of his vacation, the two of them went to dinner and had a serious talk about how they would continue the relationship.

"It's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut," Ed said to his lady friend. "I eat, sleep and breathe golf, so if that's a problem, you'd better say so now."

"Well, if we're being honest with each other, here goes," she replied. "I'm a hooker."

"I see," Ed replied, and was quiet for a moment. Then he added, "You know, it's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball."

 

Poetry Thursday

 

 

My friend who is one spoiled cat gave me the picture below for the Thursday Poetry blogå

The Big man from Freedonia need more living space

Where, freely could live, his master race

And, with other countries, to keep a pace

And mostly for the beans he used to make his orange face.

To find his special bean he targeted the land of  green.

Its leaders dismissed the orange leader as crazy and mean.

But it was only their land that grew the orange bean.

And the Orange Leader wanted it, and was unafraid to cause a scene.

The Orange Leader first tried to buy the Land of Green with his riches

He predicted that they would cave, the sons of a bitches

But he was told his offer wouldn’t even pay for their lakes full of fishes

And now they would find out what happened when you didn’t succumb to the Orange Leader’s wishes

Then the Orange Leader let his voice soar

To war, to war, Freedonia is going to war

A fact we can’t ignore

We’re going to war

The Orange Leader’s assistant Weasel said over the Land Of Green no one would fight

And Freedonia had a right to the Land of Green because they had the might

And other countries would retreat in fright

And he could make the Land of Green white

The Land of Green has an army, but it wasn’t fine

And they were arrived Freedonia would wrap them up like twine

But their Professor said “I have an idea, it is mine.”

And soon the Land of Green had miles of troops on the battle line

In the face of an overwhelming enemy Freedonia did towards home beat feet

Although the Orange Leader said they won, he could never admit defeat

And the Land of Green didn’t let on their deceit

That it was mere snowmen with sticks for guns that caused Freedonia’s hasty retreat.

Wordless Wednesday

 

Beat This Captioin

 

Hey, I don’t know if you are aware, but the door is locked. Just wanted to let you know. Carry on.

Monday Question

 What do you do that most make your parents feel loved?

Ir is the sad look I give them when I want them to sit with me.