Friday Fill in the blanks

 

It’s Friday Fill In time. Ruby’s fill ins are in capitals.

My plans for this weekend include NEP - NAP, EAT AND PLAY WHICH IS A BIG CHANGE FROM LAST WEEKEND WHEN IT WAS EAT, NAP AND PLAY.

I meant it when I said SEVERAL CUSS BARKS WHILE SITTING IN MY SECOND STORY WINDOW, BARKING AT ANY DOG OR HUMANS WHO WALK BY AND   I LET THE EXPLETIVES FLY. 

I should probably FART more often SO MY TUMMY ISN’T LOUDER THAN MY SNORING BUT WHO HAS THE ENERGY FOR MULTIPLE FLATULENCE?

I will never jump on the MAGA trend. MANY HAVE TRIED BUT ITS A FOOL’s ERRAND TO TRY AND MAKE ALPO GREAT AGAIN,

Poetry Thursday

 

Jonce again Angel Sammys and and Teddys Pawetaton have challenged us to write a poem about the picture below

Daddy don’t wake Mama

She is sleeping in

Don’t start drama

Being tired isn’t any sin

Don’t be suspicious mommy had a hard day

Taking care of us makes her tired

Now get downstairs and from the bedroom stay away

If you wanted a lively wife after work a maid you should have hired

Truthfully Daddy I don’t like to lie to you

But I know plenty

If of Mommy’s activities you want a clue.

Then slip me a twenty

What’s that Daddy “whose shoes are in the foyer?”

I don’t know I was in my room

I did hear her call a lawyer

Then Uncle Bill made her orgasm like a sonic boom

Remember when you asked me 

How I got a new bike

Since you paid me a small fee

I will tell you it was to cover cup the month she experimented being a dyke

The dad, enraged, yelled he was through

He walked down the steps and out the door

His mom came out of the bedroom and asked “was that you?”

And he shook his head and added more

“Daddy snuck home with a girl from work

But was surprised the house wasn’t empty

I didn’t want to say anything I know you would be irked

But he would understand me telling you if you slip me a twenty” 

Wordless Wednesday

 

Beat This Caption

 

My dark roots? You’re talking about my roots? Shut your festering gob, you tit, or I will claw your eyes out and get you an European seeing-eyed-dog so you are always walking against tradffic

Monday Question

 What inspired you to be a blogger and how many have you posted?  

I joined a group called Doggyspace in 2008 because it looked like fun but the site was growing toxic. I wanted to keep in touch with my friends when I left that group so I started blogging, I have posted 4,260 blogs since 2009

Ruby’s Sunday Funnies

 

A man goes into a restaurant where all the waitresses are gorgeous.

A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt comes to his table and asks, "What would you like, sir?"

He looks at the menu, scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, and then answers, "A quickie." The waitress turns and walks away in disgust.

After she regains her composure she returns and asks again, "What would you like, sir?" Again the man thoroughly checks her out and again answers, "A quickie, please."

This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding SMACK! and storms away. A man sitting at the next table then leans over and whispers, "Um, I think it's pronounced 'quiche.

A husband and wife are having issues in the bedroom. The wife can't orgasm because it's too damn hot. 

They see a sex therapist, and he recommends that they have a constant supply of cool air in the bedroom, so the man asks his best friend to waft a towel while he and his wife make love.

Begrudgingly, the friend submits and says yes.

After 20 minutes of lovemaking, the woman is no closer to orgasm, so the friend wafting the towel recommends that they switch places. So the friend is now having sex with the woman while the husband wafts the towel.

After two minutes, the woman starts to tremble and lets out an incredible cry as she reaches the most intense orgasm she has ever had.

The husband looks at his friend, and proudly proclaims, "Now that, my friend, is how you waft a towel.

 

Nature Friday

 It has been a long time since I took part in a Nature Friday, brought to you by our friends LLB. Not only have I been living in a long, cold, lonely winter but in October we moved into the second floor of a big concrete building leaving our many gardens behind. 

But where there is a will there is a garden.

Once a week new flowers have been brought into our apartment. Some thrived, some died, but now we have more than a dozen.

I thought, in honor of the return of spring I unveil for the first time Ruby’s counter and crate top gardens.

Our home will always be full of flowers because flowers represent life and you can never have too much love.

Especially in a long, dark, lonely winter