Thursday, July 24, 2014

Disrespecting the B by Foley Monster

While I lived on the mortal side of the mortal side of the River of Life I must admit I did not find many things sacred:  There was my kitty condo, my food dish, Mommy’s lap, and the big bed we all slept in.  It could only be used for one thing: Sleep.  No playing, no monkey business, nothing but sleeping.  A cute Yorkie is birth control that even Hobby Lobby could get behind.

But when I gaze into the River of LIfe to see my favorite Mortal spot, where I always felt safe and knew nothing bad could happen to me I am very angered to see the rolling around, the nipping, the genital licking, the back lying with spread legs, that is going on in my bed.  Pocket and River how could you!

River, we all know, being an unwed mother, is a handful in the sack, and I can’t complain about her not respecting the B.  But when Pocket was a puppy she was allowed into the bed and she began to play.  I snapped at her right quick and told her she was not allowed to do that ever again.  She learned.

And now she has unlearned.  Some of the blame belongs on Mommy because she has become quite frisky between the sheets too.  Oh not with Daddy!  Gross.  But she brings one of River’s toys into the bed and she plays push me pull you while River is holding it in her mouth. What happened to the days when Daddy would play with Pocket and Mommy and I would growl at the to stop. What has this River done to my family?

I should be happy that they are all playing like a family, that, while there are still tears shed in my memory, there are lots of happy thoughts too.  I should be happy about all of this.

But in my bed?  Where I slept?  Where my children came and played with their toys?

I am going to have to sleep on this.