As
many of you know our long time nemesis Michael Vick was allowed to get a
dog. I don’t want to anger anyone but I don’t see the problem with
this. In the aftermath of World War One Adolf Hitler was allowed to
rearm Germany and that worked out fine. Hold on I am getting a note
from Pocket. Oh, it seems that worked out badly. Very, very badly.
Well,
this is America, and people do deserve a second chance. Like that
quarterback, can’t think of his name, he played with the Falcons, and
was the first pick of the draft. In the beginning he played well, but
then things started to fall apart. He got in trouble with some illegal
substance at the airport. Later he got arrested and went to jail for a
reason I can’t recall. He got out of jail, went to a new team, had a
great season, and then two terrible seasons after that. Wait, getting a
note from Pocket. Oh, he was named Michael Vick too. Wow, what are
the odds?
So
Michael Vick, the man who ran a dog fighting ring from his house, has
been reformed and has a new dog. Well that’s good news. I know he is
going to be a good parent because I saw a picture of him attending
training classes with his dog at Pet Smart.
Wait, what?
I
don’t have a problem with Pet Smart. Any store whose employees allow
dogs to put their paws on the tiles and don’t care if we pee on it is
aces with me. Good food, good toys, good clothes, good people, good
training classes, good everything. I gave it five bones on Yap! I’m
just wondering why Michael Vick took his dog there to be trained.
When
he had his dog fighting ring he didn’t go to the local dog fighting
place, he made one right in his house, because that’s what celebrities
do, they bring services to their houses. So, how I figure it, the only
reason Michael Vick took the whole family to the local Pet Smart was to
get his picture taken so everyone who saw it would say “oh, look at
Michael Vick the good pet owner.”
So,
Mr Vick, I must say I am not any more impressed with your second chance
as a pet owner than I am with your second chance as a football player.
Seems like, in both instances, at the beginning, you did all the right
things, but now you are in your second season as a dog owner, and
instead of doing what is best for the team, wife, kids, and dog, you are
doing what is best for you, getting your picture in the paper showing
what a good dog owner you are instead of being a good dog owner.
I
predict that your comeback as a dog owner will be just like your
comeback as a football player: In the end, failure. But, in football,
only your team loses. I’m afraid in this comeback, something much more
precious will lose a whole lot more.
Featuring the exploits of Ruby Rose, Foley Monster's Tails From Rainbow Bridge, and co-starring Angels Pocket and River Song. We always try to leave you between a laugh and a tear
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Foley, I couldn't agree with you more!!!! I would not trust Michael Vick with a fly.
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