Saturday, April 10, 2010

I've got the FEMA, oh I've got the FEMA, there's nothing a poor girl can do

Friday was a big day for us. A man from FEMA came to check out the water damage in our basement. Well if he came to see a natural disaster, Pocket and I were going to give him a disaster.

As soon as he rang the bell we put our plan in action. We began to bark as loudly as possible. We learned this from watching the show COPS. Whenever the police go to some drunk,shirtless guy's trailer there are dogs barking up a big commotion everywhere and Mommy says: "What a disaster."

So, to add to the disaster, we barked and barked. Then Mommy took him downstairs. Earlier that day I sailed the SS Foley into the sump pump. You want a disaster, sail your skiff into your pump.

Then they went downstairs. I pulled Pocket aside and told her we had to help. "Do what you do best," I whispered to her. She nodded, got in position, and took a vick on the floor. Unfortunately she hadn't eaten much recently and her output was not of disastrous proportions. Once again it would be up to me.

I got right in front of the door, took a deep breath, and let out a nice vick. But it still wasn't truly a disaster. It was more like an unpleasant inconvenience. I shook my head. It was time for the ultimate sacrifice. I told Pocket my plan.

Pocket looked at me shocked. "Not even I would do that, and there isn't much I wouldn't do," Pocket said.

But to create a disaster for my Mommy I would. I lied next to my creation, and then I began to roll in it. When I was done I was covered in vick, and man did I smell, a disaster indeed.

Then I heard them coming upstairs, and she looked down, and saw the smushed vick, turned, and saw a fairly fresh looking Pocket, then looked at me, and sighed. She asked the FEMA man if he had dogs, and he said no, and she said that this was the kind of disaster you had when you have dogs.

She then took me upstairs for a bath, where she pretended to be mad at me (in fact she continues to pretend to be mad at me, taking it a little too far if you ask me) and once I got finished she went downstairs, and found Pocket's vick, and sighed even louder, as Pocket and I sat on the couch, wagging our tails, so proud of our teaming with nature to bring a disaster of such proportions that the government had to be called out (and Sean Penn later floated by in a canoe.)

We haven't heard from the FEMA people yet but we are sure we will be seeing lots of cash after the disaster that Pocket and I perpetrated. I only hope when the money comes rolling in they save some for kibbles and treats, we deserve it

1 comment:

  1. We just love your stories!! And, believe it, or not, we just now figured out how to leave comments on them!!! Talk about a "dumbo" Mom, but ya just gotta love her (at least I do). Love, Blazer

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