'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through our pack
not a creature was stirring, Pocket didn’t have to yack.
The stockings were hung on the curtain rod with care,
in hopes that Santa Paws would not appear bare
My parents were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of healthy IRA’s so they don’t have to work danced in their heads.
And Mama in her nightie, and us pups by;/
had just settled down for a long winter's dream ride.
When out on the roof there arose such a clatter,
I barked my head off to see what was the matter.
Away to the window my little paws did scurry,
on back legs I stood to see what could cause such worry.
The moon on the trampled grass from a warm winter
showed tracks from our walking as we looked for a place to poopter,
when, what to my deep brown eyes from under hairs full of tangles,
Did I see but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny winged angels
With a little old doggy so lively and without flaw,
I knew in a moment it must be Santa Paw.
More rapid than eagles, his beautiful angels they came,
and he barked and aarfed and called them by name:
"Now Tanner Now Sophie!
Now, Baron and Taser!
On, Fella! On, Willie!
On, Logan and Brody!
To the top of the porch!
To the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away!
Dash away all!"
Our roof is small and thinly constructed,
I worried the weight of the sleigh would make it busted
but the angels sensing the peril below
Slowly and softly a landing they did go.
I was so excited I knew I must tinkle
I made it to my pee pads and did my business without a wrinkle.
As I shook myself dry and left my pad
I saw Santa Paws scurry through a window like he was breaking bad.
He was dressed all in fur which was expected
because he was a Lab and not a Chinese Crested.
A bundle of toys he had hung on his back,
when he flung them off they hit the floor with a crack.
His eyes--how they twinkled! His nipples, how symmetrical!
His whiskers were like rose stems, his laugh quite hysterical!
The hair on his head was topped with a bow,
and the spot on his bellly was as white as the snow.
The antler from a deer he held tight in his teeth,
and he lay on the floor to chew it under our fancy wreath
He had a well groomed face and a little round belly,
his weight problem not helped when he began to lick from a jar of jelly.
He was chubby and plump in need of some Fat Dog food,
he made me hungry and I found a kibble under the sofa which was good.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Then he sneezed in my direction leaving me too wet for bed.
He barked not a yip, but went straight to his work,
and filled all the stockings, with chicken, treats and steaks made of jerk.
And laying a paw aside of his nose,
He walked out the door because we had no chimney for him to goes.
He sprang to his sleigh, to his angels gave a bark,
And away they all flew like deep into the dark.
But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,
"Woofy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"