Sunday, January 6, 2019

Peco Dee, A Little Dog in a Big Controversy is our January 6, 2019 Pup of the Week

This week I planned to write about the passing of my old DS friend Peco Dee’s mom Mary.  The news of her passing spread among her Facebook friends at the end of December. There were dozens, perhaps even hundreds of comments left on the page Peco shared with his mom Mary and on the Facebook group Dog Euphoria that Peco had administered since Doggyspace folded.

Mary was very private.  Few knew how old she was or what she looked like. They did know that Mary had been ill. There was a post in March about her falling and breaking a hip. A couple of weeks later Peco announced his mom was okay. Astute observers of Peco’s page and his Dog Euphoria profile realized something was off. The voice they had known as Peco’s was different by just a tad. And occasionally there would be pictures of Peco pensively looking off into the distance while underneath the caption read “Thinking of someone I miss in heaven.”


After hearing of Peco’s mom's passing one parent, in a quest to get more information, and knowing Peco’s mom’s elusive last name did an obituary check of the St. Paul's area. They found a person with his mom's name, but she had passed in March around the time of her fall. 


For their friends on Facebook Mary and Peco were indistinguishable. In December, when their friends learned of Mary’s passing, they were heartbroken, and when it came to light that she had really passed seven months earlier their emotions were raw, and they felt betrayed.


Peco’s mom’s son Tom, either at his mom’s request or on his own, at her passing, decided to keep Peco’s profile unchanged.   Mary had been a very private woman and may not have wanted her passing known, or for people to make a fuss. Or that Tom, in his grief, just wanted to keep something of his mom alive. 

 Perhaps, in retrospect, he should have let people know his mother had passed and that he would be taking over the reins on Peco’s page and at Doggy Euphoria. But who makes good decisions when they are grieving?  We have all suffered together at the passing of a pup friend. We know there is no wrong way to grieve. 

The people who loved Mary and Peco were hurt.  Love is a big soup made up of lots of ingredients like faith, hope, and kindness.  When dishonesty is added, it turns the broth bitter, and people react to it. This lead to the unit-Peco backlash that occurred when the news broke. It is a byproduct of being hurt after betrayal, not deliberate unkindness.  


Humans don’t adapt well to the fact that two opposing opinions may both be right.  You need to be a Republican or Democrat, Red Sox fan or Yankee, bagels or English muffins.  How can you be both? I call it the cereal box conundrum. I sit on one side of the box and say there's a big picture of Tony the Tiger on it and you sit on the other side and say “no, there’s a  puzzle on it.” Both are right. It's just a matter of perspective. Peco’s brother’s perspective was that he was doing right by Peco’s followers and his mom. Some to their friends perspective was that they felt betrayed. Both are right, and if you can’t see it, you need to get up and look at the other side of the box.


Peco’s momma Mary is with us at the Bridge.   She has a huge farm that she shares with her pets that preceded her.  She has provided a home for thousands of dogs who never found love in the mortal world.  I have sat with her and watched everything that has unfolded since Christmas. She has been upset because she only wanted Peco to be loved as she loved him.


For everyone still hurt by these events, I can tell you what the old dogs told me.  Jump in the swamp and shake it off. Then go back to honoring the little dog who brought so may together:  Peco Dee

16 comments:

  1. Foley, this is a perfect story honoring our beloved Peco, his mommy Mary and his well meaning brother, Tommy. Thank you!!

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  2. Please dont be angry. Mary may have asked her son to keep the page going...even if she didnt he had the right intentions....let it go....for Mary and Peco...please....

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  3. remember when a lot of us were on dogster etc and no ever got offended when were the pet,so I can understand peoplr breing upset only a little tomy was doing what he thought was best.

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  4. I absolutely love Dog Euphoria and you truly can't be mean to someone who was grieving , we all grieve different and the loss of a parent is devastating , I now know and speak with Tommy and he's a hurt man from losing not only his mom but his sister as well , I say let's love and support him and keep on enjoying the antics of little Peco Dee , RIP dearest Mary you may be gone but you'll never be forgotten ❤️

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  5. That was absolutely beautiful. I like Tommy already, and I love the fact that he is keeping his mom's legacy alive. All for the love of a sometimes obnoxious, always loveable, blankie humohum generator building, couch pooping little Chihuahua named Peco.

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  6. We were sad to hear about Mary too and sadder because of the madder.

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  7. Mom and I heard rumblings in the distance concerning Peco, and are glad to now know what all the fuss was about.... That being said, the past is the past and something done is love is just that regardless to how others respond. We totally agree all us pups just need to shake it off and give this grieving hooman and pup the love and support they so obviously need. Love and Peace Molly and my Mom

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  8. I don't Peco so hadn't heard about this controversy. I'm sure that Mary's son didn't mean any harm and maybe these were her final wishes. And like you said, we don't always know what we are doing when we are grieving. Hope everyone can move on and find peace with this situation.

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  9. You are so right about humans wanting to see the world in black and white when there are many grey shades.

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  10. The son says he did what his mother wanted. Anyone who "knew" Mary through their internet interactions isn't grieving one hundredth as much as her family-- Tommy also lost his sister in the same year. The rudeness displayed in their anger is certainly not something Mary would have wanted... some people have a hard time putting themselves in someone else's shoes and just want to whine about how things affect them. Maybe he should have told people when she passed, but that was up to him. None of us are entitled to any more information than the person or their family is willing to disclose.

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  11. Things happen for a reason, and we are sure that Mary and her family had theirs. We are sorry to hear that she has passed, and we would love for everyone to try to just think about the good she did in her life with Peco.

    Woos - Lightning, Misty, and Timber

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  12. I did not know Peco. I understand the feelings of betrayal. I also understand how the backlash must have added to Tommy's hurt. Social media can be a blessing or a curse. It is just all so sad. This is a good lesson of thinking of others (Tommy) before thinking of ourselves.

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  13. I still love the Peco, warrior on Tommy !!!!

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  14. Thank you for the story. Love you Peco, Mary,and Tommy

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  15. Charlee: "What a sad story all around."
    Chaplin: "We didn't know Peco and I don't think our brother Dennis did either but we are still sending purrs for everyone involved."

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