Pocket and River Song Save an Actual Human

It was a lovely early spring evening.  River and I were looking forward to a pleasant stroll. I walked with River beside me.  Papa held on to both our leashes in his right hand. I was feeling a little draggy, so I deposited a poop to lessen my load.  We began to turn onto another street.

“Help help” we heard a human voice cry.  I being a socially conscious dog walked towards the sound.  River wanted to ignore it. I understood. She was still carrying a full load.  Papa was frozen, not sure what to do.

We heard the plea again. Papa sided with me, and we hurried to the sound. River lagged behind wanting us to stop for just a minute so she could unburden herself.  I told her she should have thought of that before we left the house.

We walked up the driveway. A white car was running.  Ahead of it was a red 2016 Camaro. A distressed senior citizen sat in the front seat.  

“Thank God you stopped,” the man said breathing heavily.  “I'm trapped inside here. It's been two and a half hours I really have to pee.”

“I know how you feel,” River said.

Papa tried to determine how the man had got himself into this unfortunate situation.  The trapped driver said he had covered up his Camaro during the winter season. Now that spring had arrived he wanted to get it back on the road. He removed its tarp, started the white car behind him planning to use its battery for a jump, then got in the Camaro and closed the door.

He opened the glove compartment to check the manual and see if he could jump start the car using the auxiliary battery in the trunk. He read that this was not recommended.  He would have to pull the white vehicle onto the grass next to the Camaro. What a bother.

Then he grabbed the Camaro door handle to get out, but nothing happened. He looked for a way to manually unlock the door, but there was none.  Then he remembered the salesman telling him that everything ran off the key fob. All he had to do was press the open door button, and he would be free.

He pressed the button on the key fob and nothing happened. The fob powered the doors, the fob was powered by the battery, and the battery was dead.

Papa knew that newer cars with similar operational systems had a small key Inside the fob that, if placed in the right slot somewhere on the door would unlock it.  The man looked at Papa helplessly. ‘I think I'll call 911,” Papa said.

The operator did not seem to be impressed with this particular emergency. She repeated that there must be a way for the trapped man to open the door. Papa agreed but said conveying that to a panicked 85-year-old man trapped in a 2016 Camaro would be challenging In the extremes.

Now Papa, River and I along with the man in the car waited. Papa and the man talked about the neighbors, the weather, sports, and whatever else people talk about when one's waiting to be rescued.  River and I found the whole thing very exciting. We were going to get to see actual fireman up close — # Bestwalkever.

Then the firemen arrived. They didn't look anything like the ones on the program 911.  They were short and had too much hair. Some of it came out of their nose. I guess TV firefighters have more time for personal grooming.  The fireman approached the man in the car. Papa put us on the grass at the top of the driveway to watch. I was aghast when I saw River was taking a poop. “You know what I am like when I get nervous,” River said.

The distressed man was able to find the small key hidden inside the fob but could not find any way to open the door.  The firefighters were able to slightly lift the car’s detachable roof and get the key from the man. They opened the back and pulled him out.

They began charging the auxiliary battery in the back. They weren't worried about anything going wrong.  The first responders had already responded.

In less than a minute the car came to life.  The man activated the key fob and opened up the door.  The firemen looked all over the inside of the door, but they couldn't find the keyhole either.

Like all 85-year-old men who lock themselves in a car, badly have to pee, and need the fire department rescue them, he wanted to chitchat. After politely listening for five minutes the firemen left.  There is always a senior somewhere who needs to be saved.

It was time for us to go. The man must have been tired.  But, he continued to be chatty. He told Papa that he remembered him walking by with the two noisy dogs.  He had prayed that we would do so today and his prayers were answered.




And that is how River and I saved the man who got stuck in the car with a dead battery.  If you're on a walk and your parents tell you to be quiet make sure they know so your barks could someday save a life.