The Ruby Rose Report: Who Moved My Cheese

 

Except for when the Christmas tree was put up, our house remains laid out the same way, which I like, because I am not a fan of change.

I like my beds and blankets in front of the TV, so I don’t miss an episode of my favorite program “Femu and Doug.” It was the perfect setup.

Then Daddy busted his recliner. The back part broke away from the front part. It was now just a cleaner.

First, my parents switched the cleaner with the lift chair. They got it years ago in case one of them can’t easily get out of their recliner. I imagine they left the broken chair in the living room as a warning to the other pieces.

Shortly after using it, Daddy realized the lift chair must have been for people more crippled than him; folks with no feeling in their butts, because the chair put his maximus to sleep, which was a shame because it was the liveliest part of his physique. It was like sitting on two metal bars that occasionally vibrated, which made for a fun Saturday night and a shameful Thursday.

 My parents, both of whom had twisted spines from trying to type on a laptop in a reclined position, creating the first two tummy tops, decided to get a small computer chair and table.

These fit in nicely where the lift chair from hell was. But once humans move one thing, it breaks the fung shui ice they couldn’t stop rearranging like they were in charge of seat assignments on the Titanic

First, my bed was moved to in front of the chest of drawers, and my Tornado and snuffle mats were put by the computer table. After a couple of days, they moved an end table from next to Mommy’s chair to next to the loveseat. I wouldn’t have minded but my favorite hideout, Pocket’s kitty condo, where I go to hide when I get stressed was under there, and, because moving furniture makes me nervous, I had to pad around the living room before I found it. Then they moved my snuffle mats and Tornado in between Mommy’s chair and the very slow and painful electric chair.

My parents have stopped moving things for now. As for me, I need to use the PAWZ app to use the GPS to get from the bedroom to the living room.

Hopefully the moving furniture, and touching my belongings with permission is over.

And if anyone sees Pocket’s kitty condo message me.