Wordless Thursday

The Sinking of the SS DS

It was a cold winter’s evening.  Reese, Kole and Fern had invited River and me to the SS DS for a romantic dinner under the stars.  While Reese enjoyed the cold the rest of us were freezing.  We were going to take a dingy back to the SS Tanner Brigade when Kole suggested we stay in one of the empty cabins.  Being quite cold, and wanting a warm bed, we decided to stay.

I was having a restless night because of River’s snoring when I heard yelling above deck.  I woke River up and told her we needed to investigate.  She hates getting out of bed and I had to force her out.  When we climbed the steps to the main deck humans were running everywhere.  I went to the stern and saw bits of ice.  I looked up and saw that the SS DS had run into two different icebergs labeled “Indifference” and “Financial Irresponsibility.”  I looked over the side of the ship and saw that the crash had ripped a large hole near the water line.  The SS DS was sinking. 

I told River she needed to go warn all the dogs on the ship to get their pictures, journals and comments before the ship sank.  She ran back down stairs and I saw Captain Administrator getting on one of the few life boats.  I asked him if he was staying to help the poor dogs but he said they had to get off the sinking ship as quickly as possible and then they all disappeared into a life boat with the rats who lived down below.

I expected dogs to be hurrying above deck now but no one was moving.  I went back to our cabin and found River in her now tilting bed. “River get up we are sinking!” I yelled.  She snapped at me and told me she was tired.   I dragged her out again and then we went barking down the halls warning our friends.  Soon they were all out of their rooms dragging pictures, videos and journals up the stairs.

We got above deck and it was chaos. Confused dogs were running everywhere with all their belongings but there were no life boats.  The humans had left on all of them.  We were going down.  We huddled in the middle of the boat praying for rescue, and then we saw bright lights falling from the stars towards us.

“It’s the angels!” Jackson yelled out and indeed it was:  Cooper, Bisket Willie, Meika, Otis, Tommy Tunes and led by Foley Monster.  Tommy landed first an assured us we would all be safe because other angels had come behind us to carry us from the ship.

Cooper stepped up and announced that he had summoned the huge Facebook boat.  He had reserved a huge private section for all the pups who wanted to join.  A group of angels lined up to transport the dogs to the Facebook boat.

Bisket stepped forward to say that his Dad was going  to build a new boat for us all from scratch and hoped to have it ready in a couple of weeks and to let him know if anyone wanted to go.  Many, many pups raised their hands.

Then Foley stepped forward and said that the Tanner Brigade was open for those who needed a new ship and many other hands went up.  The ship started to quickly sink and all the angels came down and lifted the pups over the ship, into the night, safe and dry.  Foley stood by the propeller as the SS DS began its final descent to the bottom of the ocean.  Just before it sunk Foley jumped off and then waved her gavel in the air.  Hundreds of sparks flew in the air.  They turned into seagulls and the birds flew for the lifeboats holding the administrators and the birds bombed them with the biggest poop on you award ever sinking the boats and leaving the administrators in the cold ocean.

Then the angels began to sing, joined by the saved dogs, as they were flown to safety:

“We'll meet again,
Don't know where,don't know when,
But I know we'll meet again, some sunny day.
Keep smiling through,
Just like you always do,
Till the blue skies drive the dark clouds, far away.
So will you please say hello,
To the folks that I know,
Tell them I won't be long, (i wont be long)
They'll be happy to know that as you saw me go
I was singing this song.

We'll meet again,
Don't know where,don't know when,
But I know we'll meet again, some sunny day.
We'll meet again,
Don't know where, don't know when,
But I know we'll meet again, some sunny day.
Keep smiling through,
Just like you always do,
Till the blue skies drive the dark clouds, far away.
So will you please say hello
To the folks that I know,
Tell them I won't be long,(i wont be long )

For more Foley and Pocket adventures you can buy them here

January 11, 2015 Pup of the week: Prayers Needed

          I have only one New Year’s resolution for 2015.  Unfortunately it is one I have no control over:  I want to do less swearing in of friends who crossed over the River of Life this year than I did last year.  But I have been inundated with prayers for pups and parents in the first ten days of this year and the only way to make my resolution a reality is to get even more prayers.  I would gladly spend all day flying prayers up to the Big Guy if I didn’t have to swear in any pups or parents this year.  So what we need is prayers.  Lots and lots of prayers.  Especially for the following pups and parents.

          I don’t know how many of my DS friends remember Jake the Shih Tzu.  He has not been very active on the site lately but his Mom is a good friend of ours on The Facebook.  She recently took sick and the doctors began to run all sorts of tests on her and the results were very troubling.  She has a tumor on her spine and is starting chemotherapy.  She has a very long and difficult road in front of her and is going to need every single prayer and good thought so please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.  Just as a parent should never outlive a child a dog should never outlive a parent.  If you would like to send her a card you can send Bentley or Pokey a PM for the address. 

          Speaking of Pokey he is going to be 14 this year and he is slowing down like all older dogs do and needs some prayers to keep the old legs and heart pumping.  And his Mom has had more healthy problems than the population of a small Polynesian island.  Back problems, arm problems, leg problems.  If it supports weight and bends it is causing her pain.  Please says prayers for many more healthy days for Pokey and for his Mom’s pain to ease so she can live the normal life that has eluded her for so long.

          We have been asking for prayers for Nigel for some time now as he still is suffering from a bad heart so please keep them going.  This past week his Dad David spent several days in the hospital with terrible back pain and a high fever that baffled his doctors.  Nigel’s poor Mom was nurse maid to her husband then running home to be nurse maid to Nigel.  As of this writing Nigel’s Dad is back home.  The doctors have determined he has a viral infection of unknown origin and both he and Nigel need some prayers to get, and stay healthy.

          Another pup with heart problems is Paco our friend from Italy.  Each time he goes to the vet we receive news that his heart is growing weaker.  But Paco is a fighter who desperately wants to stay with his Mom, especially at this time when her own Mom is very ill and needs our prayers.  So please included sweet Paco and his Grandmom in your prayers.

          Our friend Max’s grandmom needs some prayers for good health too.  Some of you may remember her as Ladybug’s Mom.  We aren’t sure of her specific medical issues but we know they are serious and any help she can get will be greatly appreciated.

          Our friends Chelsea and Ashton’s Mom took a fall on the stairs this week.  She is from Texas and as you know everything is bigger in Texas so it must have been a bad fall.  Please send prayers her way.   

          Our good friend, the Triple T’s Mom, Aunt Linda, is trying to take positive steps to improve her health by stopping smoking.  This is one of the most difficult tests a human can undergo.  She’s determined to make it but she is going to need lots of positive prayers and pup energy.

          Also needing prayers is Daisy Mae’s Mom who is currently quite sick and is on oxygen.  We don’t know the specifics of her disease but know that she too needs all the prayers and positing pup energy she can get to get over this illness.

          And we still have plenty of pups in need of prayer whose parents are healthy, but very worried about their beloved babies including Smoochy, who is still suffering from MRSA and now has an ear infection, MacDougal and Ju Ju who are still undergoing tests and Sandy who is recovering from a stroke.  I am looking for lots of prayers for all of them.

          Please keep the prayers coming in.  I would rather be flying prayers up the mountain for 1,000 dogs and humans than swear in a new member of the Bridge.

Ask Aunt Foley: The Rabbits Are Scheming

          Dear Aunt Foley:   I live in a house with a barn.  At the barn we have a burn pit.  Once a year, in the winter, my Dad burns old tree limbs, excess lumber and other items.   Dad prefers to burn when there is snow on the ground so the fire does not spread.  This week burn pit day came.  I was chilling outside with my brother Kane when we saw a trespassing rabbit and we cannot abide a trespassing rabbit on our property so I chased it.  The stupid rabbit ran right into the fire pit and I followed.  I singed the hair off my lower legs but was otherwise unhurt.  Meanwhile the rabbit escaped unscathed.  Do you think the rabbit ran into the fire on purpose? – Damaged Daisy

          Dear Damaged Daisy:  Of course that rabbit did it on purpose.  Let me tell you about these rabbits Daisy, they are getting smarter, and they are scheming against us.  So we need to be smarter too.  Why back in my day you just chased a rabbit down and ripped it apart, and they were glad, glad I say, just happy for the attention but this new breed of rabbit they think they have all sorts of rights and things and now they have gone so far as to lead us into a fire.  Well I have an important piece of advice for you my dear friend.

          Don’t run into the fire!  Now please understand.  I know you didn’t mean to run into the fire.  You just let your instinct take over but the Bridge is busting at the seams with dogs who arrived here because they were following their instincts and got hit by a car, or drowned, or ran into a fire.  And now that the rabbits have figured out how to manipulate our instincts so they can gain the upper hand on us we must be doubly diligent not to let them trick us anymore.

          But what really worries me about this incident isn’t that the rabbit ran into the fire to trap you but that he ran out of the fire.  What exactly does that mean?  Is this a zombie rabbit?  A vampire rabbit?  An immortal rabbit?  I knew it the minute I read Watership Down.  These rabbits have gotten uppity and much smarter.  Damn that Hazel.

          I am going to personally investigate this rabbit thing but until I have an answer please don’t run into any more fires.

      You can read more of Foley's adventures HERE

Our book Small Tales is now for sale on Amazon

I, Judge Foley Monster, am proud to announce that my life’s work, five years of the best of my blogs (and some stuff by Pocket too) have been collected by my minions into a single volume titled “Small Tales:  The Big Adventures of Two Tiny Terriers.”  If you would like to purchase a copy you can do so on Amazon using this link:

SMALL TALES

In this collection are some of my finest adventures:  Causing an international incident by not letting a black kitty in her house; rescuing a lost kitty from a group of gangster cats; rescuing of a skunk from a snow bank; Pocket’s wild balloon ride across the country; our visit to the land of Oz; Pocket’s run for the US Senate; our raid on the Princess’ castle; and stories about our struggles to train our parents.

Plus some of you might find your names in my Aunt Ask Foley chapter or if you took part in our adventures.  And many of you and your Moms or Dads are mentioned in our acknowledgements. 

There are several drawings by our friend Zoe Boe’s Mom Connie Gross including a fantastic cover which is worth the price of the book alone. 

So if you like please purchase the book.  Or you could go on our website and read all the blogs for free.  But you can swat a pesky mosquito with the book and if you do that with your computer it is going to cost you hundreds of dollars in repairs. If you swat a mosquito with the book it costs less than $10.00 so buying this books saves you hundreds of dollars in computer repairs and is guaranteed to kill some flies. 

Thank you for your consideration and for helping create my stories and being my very good friends.

With great love and appreciation your humble servant Foley Monster

Not-Nike is our January 4, 2015 Pup of the Week

          Earlier this year I wrote about Nike, a poor puppy who arrived at the Bridge after being caught in a flash flood in Arizona.  The flood spilled into his house and pulled him out the doggy door where he drowned.  The completely foolish way Nike passed to the Bridge caused me to rail against the Big Guy.  The stupidity of it all.  A little dog dying during a flood in the desert.  Unbelievable!

          Just last week I gave an update on Nike.  She was running with Greta, another young pup, keeping her company through the fields and meadows, laughing all the way.  And with that I vowed never to write about Nike’s unfortunate passing again.

          Until this week when Nike’s Mom posted a blog on her Doggyspace page stating that her account had been hacked and that everyone in her pack, including Nike, was fine.  Meaning that when I posted about her being swept away in a flood I was wrooo, I was wroooo, I was not completely right.

          But worse than that was who I found sitting in my living room this morning.  It was the Big Guy.  “Foley, do you remember that dog Nike who supposedly drowned in a flood in Arizona?”  I barely nodded. “Do you remember blaming me for it and telling me you thought it sucked?”  I nodded.  “Is that what happened?”  I shook my head.  “Do you know what happened?’  I shook my head again.  “Do you think you should find out what happened?”  I nodded again.  “That’s good,” he said rising, “because, like you said to me, I think it sucks.”

          Gulp.

          I went to the field where I knew Greta and this dog not named Nike were playing.  I whistled for them and they both came running over.  I gave Greta a treat and told her to keep playing in the field and then asked Not-Nike to sit down next to me.  We started with small talk and then I asked her about her passing and she repeated her story.  Then I told her what I knew, that she had lied about who she was, taking the identity of a living dog.

          Not-Nike shifted uncomfortably on the ground.  “You’re right, I lied.  I am not Nike.  I’m really not any dog,” she said softly.  “I was born in a shelter and I was put up for adoption.  No one claimed me and I was put down.  I never knew love in my life, never knew companionship, and I wanted to be someone.”

          She took another big sigh.  “While I was in the shelter I heard rumor of Judge Foley Monster who swore in dogs who came to the Bridge and wrote wonderful stories about them being heroes, and while I was no one’s hero on the mortal side of the Bridge I thought I could be on the immortal side.”  She told me she would leave her friend Greta and this spot on the Bridge and find some place to live on the immortal side as she did on the mortal side, alone and unnoticed.

          A small tear ran down Not-Nike’s face.  I put my paw on her shoulder and I told her I understood why she did what she did, and for her to remember that every dog, even if they have never been loved by a human, is a hero.  Then I rechristened her Athena, who, in mythology was Nike’s sister.  I told her to go running with Greta, that she would still be welcome at Tommy’s mansion and Otie’s drug store, and that she would never be alone again.  She is one of us, as are all dogs.

          I watched Athena run off and begin to play with Greta again, and I made a note to check with any pup parents who crosses the River of Life and ask them if they would like to give an immortal dog the love she never got in her mortal life.  I was feeling pretty good about myself when I got back home and found the Big Guy sitting in my chair.

          He asked me if I had talked with Not-Nike who was now Athena and I said yes.  Then he asked me for her story and I told it, and then told him my decision.

          He smiled at me.  “So you forgave this Not-Nike Athena dog?” The Big Guy asked.  I told him I had.

          “Wow, to be forgiven by Judge Foley Monster,” the Big Guy said rising.  “I’ve never experienced that before,” he said as he glided out of the room.

          Snarky.

          But I wasn’t going to let it bother me.  I headed back to the fields to run with Greta and my new friend Athena. 

          No matter what their name every dog is a hero.        

Ask Aunt Foley

            Dear Aunt Foley:   My Mommy has been thinking about getting us one of those raised beds.  What can you tell me about them? – Cheyenne and Kaizer

            Dear Cheyenne and Kazier:  The first thing I need to tell you is that raised beds are all a matter of perspective.  To a Yorkie everything is a raised bed.  Put a little pillow on the floor it’s a raised bed to us.  Heck put a towel on the floor and we have to step up to get there.

            You probably don’t have that problem being a big dog.  I don’t want to go off on a tangent but big dogs have it easy. If you have never felt the frustration of trying to jump off a couch only to embarrassingly bounce off the top cushion you don’t know frustration.

            In fact in my book the only raised bed a dog should sleep in is the raised bed that Mommy and Daddy sleep in.  If any human would like to make millions of dollars they should go on Shark Tank with the idea of a bigger bed than the King size bed.  The Dog Sized bed which would dwarf the kind sized bed and make room for everyone.

            But back to your original question.  These beds are great for dogs who sleep on cold floors.  Shelters like to have them because many of the shelters have cement floors.  If you are sleeping on a rug or a floor that is not cold then you probably don’t need them.

            But if it makes your Mom happy then let go for it and make yourself comfortable.  You will get nice and snuggled on it and your Mom will feel good about making it happen so the least you can do is do this for your Mom.