Wordless Wednesday

Beat This Caption

 Kayla didn’t care if the elf told Santa no one in the house should get Christmas gifts, someone had to put a stop to his reign of terror. 

Monday Question

 I have already revealed my New Year's Resolution not to eat my own poop. (Spoiler alert: I already broke it.)

What is your New Year's Resoluton?

The Ruvy Rose Report: New Year's Resolution

 

I have been told that a new year is beginning, and it is a time to make resolutions to improve my enjoyment of the following year.

I had to think hard about my resolutions: I have an outstanding life and have often been told that I am a good dog.

In short, I am perfect.

And, even if perfection can not be improved, trying is always appreciated.

I thought long and hard about how I could improve myself and reached my first resolution: I am going to stop eating my poop (or anyone else’s.)

This seems like an easy one, but for us poopaholics, it is challenging.

The best way for humans to stay on the wagon is to keep away from their addictions. But it is more complicated for me. I produce my own poor naturally, tempting me.

Imagine an alcoholic urinating whiskey, calling to him for one more drink.

Or imagine a man who loves cinnamon buns. A new batch comes out of the oven every day, warm, smelling delightful. It would break the strongest-willed people.

Well, my poop comes out of my oven warm and smelling good, at least to me, because, as the great philosopher Carlin once said, our farts don’t’ smell bad.”

I know this addiction, for humans, is disgusting. All I can tell you is: Have you ever eaten kibble? Post-digestion kibble isn’t Too far of a step-down.

I am not a morning dog. I hate getting out of bed and usually leave my appetite under the covers. So, the first poop I had, I didn’t touch, except after a heavy night of poop eating, and I knew a stool of the dog that bit me.

My mid-day poop and after-supper poop, when my appetite is always at ten, is lucky if it hits the ground before I am ready to chow down. My parents know my schedule and try to pick it up before I chow it down.

But sometimes my parents, in their comfortable chairs, see me scurry towards my Poop and pee pads and look at each other like new parents who are tired of getting up to tend to the baby and give one another the side eye, hoping the other move first. If not, the poop bar is open!

Then, I jumped in Daddy’s chair and tried to give him a palette-cleansing kiss. Mommy says: “Serves you right for not picking up the poop.”

So I am declaring my new year’s resolution not to eat poop.

I can do it for a day.

What do you mean? Is it for the whole year?

I can’t stop from eating poop for that long.

No one can.

Foley's Tales From Rainbow Bridge: Mac and the Year Without Christmas

 

Living on the mortal side is much more difficult for humans than for dogs. We can afford to stay home all day, but people need to go out and interact with others. What a terrible fate.

That is why Christmas comes at the end of the year. After months of battling to keep food on the table and a roof over their family’s heads, there is one day that you spend with the people you love and don’t have to put up with the people you don’t.

Then there are kids. Christmas is the last magical day in their lives when elves make toys that Santa delivers.

Only one thing could get parents and children to give up Christmas.

A pet.

Mac is the center of the Shearer family. The one-year-old Tibetan Mastiff always wants to be with his family. He loves going on car rides. This concerned his predecessors at the Bridge because Mac stuck most of his torso out of the window while driving. His angels told him to be careful, but young dogs rarely are.

One day last month, his mom was driving Mac, and she took a sharp turn, then screamed as Max tumbled out of the window.

Max’s leg had broken into two shards that had to be brought together. The estimates were between $5,000 and $8,000. The family knew there was no way they could raise that kind of money.

Max wasn’t just his parents’ dog. He was their nine-year-old daughter’s best friend. The girl had autism, and while Max was not a therapy dog by trade, he was one at heart.

So, the family decided to do everything they could to help Max.

With their daughter consulted on the decision, it was decided to cancel Christmas and put all the money they had been saving for the holiday into Max’s care.

 They sold their car, got a loan, and maxed out their credit cards. If Max was human, it is what they would do, and Max was like a son to them, so they had no choice.

So, Christmas came without ribbons!... it came without tags!... it came without packages, boxes, or bags!

But it did come with a dog named Max.

Quite ironic, isn’t it?

 

Poetry Thursday

 

Once again, Angel Sammys and Teddys Pawetaton have provided us with a photo for Poetry Thursday.

Nana and Papa brought in the New Year with cheer

And with full hearts, confident there was nothing to fear

They had forgotten they had said the same the last New Year

When they both had several times shed a tear

 

They did the same when they met on New Year’s Eve ‘72

When their love was sweet and new

By ’73, inflation had brought them many bills past due

And two babies filled with snot and poo

 

They did the same in ‘78.

The year Papa lost his job because with staff he was inappropriate

They lost their house and lived in a tent on the median of the interstate

But they rang in ’79, fully believing this year would be great.

 

 

In ’84, Nana found work.

And not a boring one like her husband, the clerk

She was a stripper and invented the twerk.

But the owner patented the dance, the greedy jerk.

 

The twins graduated from school in 91

And left their parents for a life of fun

They went on a quick bank run

And were each sentenced to ten years for trying to rob it with a machine gun

 

Despite their troubles, they gladly celebrated New Year’s Eve

Even in 2002, when the managed of their apartment house told them they had to leave

In 2007, when a diagnoses of Ebola, they did receive

In 2009, when their daughter left them with a tween, they still did not believe

 

They were happy through 2014 when their house was washed away by bad weather

And in 2016, when Americans decided Trump was better

Or this year, when their skin turned to brutal leather

They celebrated every year because, despite their misfortunes, they were together

 

Wordless Wednesday