Sunday, September 13, 2009

The Pocket Kennedy saga concludes

Pocket has made it into the Kennedy inner sanctum at Hyannis Port and convinced The Kennedy that she is a real member of the family. Just as she was about to be fully backed by the family a woman notices a puddle on the floor.

“What is this puddle?” the woman asked.

“Ah, don’t worry, ah, must be spilled chowder,” The Kennedy said.

Pocket let out a big sigh of relief: If they couldn’t tell the difference between chowder and pee then who was she to disagree.

“Now Pocket, we are going put the entire weight of the Kennedy family behind you.” He grabbed a briefcase and opened it. He took out a paper with rows of people’s name followed by numbers. “This is a list of people who will be contributing to your campaign,” he said.

Pocket looked at the list. “Well isn’t that sweet,” she said. “I have about 100 of my doggy friends who will be giving me a million dollars and moving to Massachusetts to vote for me.”

“Ahh, yes, that’s impressive, we have a million people on the docks in Ireland ready to come ashore and vote for you for a hundred dollars. It’ll ahh, all balance out.”

Pocket continued to study the paper. “Why would all these kind people give me money, they haven’t even sniffed me yet?”

“Well, Pocket, they ahh, give you their money, and then they will, ahh, tell you how to vote on issues.”

Pocket stopped looking at the list. “Oh, I don’t know about that Mr. Kennedy. I was planning on looking at each issue individually, weighing the pro and cons of each, and voting on what I believe is the best for the country.”

“Hah hah hah hah hah!” the Kennedy laughed so hard chowder came out of one nostril and Scotch out of the other. ‘We ought to have you speak at the correspondents dinner, you’d kill there.”

Pocket tilted her head and looked up at him confused.

“Oh my god, ah, you’re not kidding. You really are a pup aren’t you? Well ahh, this is how our country works, men, ahh, give you money to help you, ahh, get elected, you do what they want so you can, ahh, get elected again.”

“Oh I don’t even like my Mommy telling me what to do, quiet down, get off the back of the couch, don’t pee there. I think people should give me money and let me pass legislation as I see fit, and if they disagree, they can give their money to someone else next time,” Pocket said.

The Kennedy gave her a look of disappointment and took back the list. “I am sorry Pocket but no Kennedy could ever have so little knowledge of how the American political system works. I’m afraid I am going to have to not only withdraw our support for your candidacy, but also ask you not to refer to yourself as a Kennedy during the campaign.”

Pocket felt her little heart breaking. The Kennedy stood up and told her that she was going to have to leave. She walked out of the house with her head down just as she heard the lady Kennedy say “Hey, this isn’t chowder.”

She was surprised to find her sister Foley waiting for her. “What did they say?” Foley asked.

“I wouldn’t agree to let people who contribute money to the campaign tell me how to vote so they said I wasn’t a Kennedy and asked me to leave,” Pocket said with her tail between her legs.

Foley gave her a playful nip and then a big kiss. “What are you doing that for I failed at becoming a Kennedy?” she said.

“You stood up for what you believe Pocket. You showed that you couldn’t be bought, most humans wouldn’t be able to do that. And when you’re elected Senator you won’t be beholden to special interest groups, just your doggy friends. I’m proud of you,” Foley said giving her a lick.

“You’ve never been proud of me before!” Pocket said, her tongue curling into a smile.

“Well I am today, now look over there, see that Portuguese Water Dog on that boat, that’s Splash, and look on deck, there’s 12, Chappy, Whiskey, Matilda, Luca, Tadertot, Shiloh, Cali, Hurley, Max, Tupper, Pokey, Macdougal, Brody, Sandy, Mollie, Morgan, Hattie, Zoey, Hobo, Erin and Cocoa Puff, and there are more below deck, all here to support you. Splash is going to steal the boat and go sailing, you coming?”

“Did they bring a million dollars?” Pocket asked.

“They brought their love and friendship,” Foley told her.

“That’s nice but I have a tough primary ahead.” Foley told her to forget about the election for one day and have fun sailing with their friends. Pocket smiled he widest smile and asked if she could pee on the deck.

“Of course you can Pocket, now let’s get over to the boat before they cast off.”

The two sisters bounced toward the ship, their tails wagging. “What do you think about another family?” Pocket asked. “How about Pocket Bush?”

“I think Pocket’s just fine,” Foley said as the climbed on the deck and set out to sea.

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