This week the Democratic candidates running for the Senate seat that I am seeking as a Dogpendent held a debate. As the only Dogpendent I was not invited to debate, and neither was the only Republican candidate, Guy Uzgotnochance, but I still would like to give my views on the questions asked.
The Public Option: A great deal of the debate centered about this subject. Now I don’t clearly understand this whole public option thing. I know it has something to do with health. I don’t think people should make any decisions about their health. They always seem to make the wrong ones: eating too much, exercising too little and taking dangerous risks. No, I am for the puppy option. Let us manage our Mommy’s health and Daddy’s, we’d do a much better job. We need them to be healthy to take care of us, so let’s get rid of the public option and change it to the puppy option.
Afghanistan: I am against sending troops to Afghanistan because my friend Jordan has had to go there and it’s a scary place. I don’t think anyone should have to go to another country to fight a war. But I also understand there are bad humans there. I think we should send Cesar Milan there to whisper to everyone until they become calm and submissive.
Immigration: Speaking of Mr. Milan I would ease up on the immigration issues. I have so many friends from other countries like Paco, Rain, Luca, and Benji. They are dogs just like me, and while I know humans are more set in their ways then dogs, I think down below they are more or less the same.
Green Jobs: The others talked about their green energy jobs, but I am the only one who does a green energy job. When I do my Vicks it goes into the ground and makes the grass green. Some of these candidates don’t put their money where their mouth is but I put my mouth where my butt is.
No Child Left Behind: I am not for the No Child Left Behind law. Don’t get me wrong. I love children. But I prefer them one at a time. When there is more than that I tend to get overwhelmed, so please, leave at least one behind. I am much better dealing with children one on one.
I have studied this debate and must tell you I am not worried. After watching this debate I know two things, I am not the only dog in this race, but I am the smartest dog in this race.