Monday, March 15, 2010

The adventures of the SS Foley Monster

Today Daddy took the day off to go visit Nana in the hospital. She is going to be there longer then we had hoped. She went into something called respiratory failure and had to have something called a tracheostomy after her double bypass surgery. I don't know what any of that means. I do know that Mommy and Daddy have been very tense, and I have had less computer time, and I wish things would go back the way they were. I also know that Mommy says she wished for years that Daddy's Mom would be in a place where she couldn't speak so my Mommy could say what is on her mind, and now that the time is here, she's not enjoying it. Really, I don't understand humans. Nana could really use our brigade prayers, I know I've asked before and you've all been wonderful, but she could use any bit of spiritual help she can get.

It has been raining here since, creation, I believe. Often when it rains we get a little bit of water in the cellar. Just enough to get your paws wet. Well this morning Mommy and Daddy were on a schedule to pick up his Daddy and go into Boston for a visit. His Daddy has to get in and out at a certain time or he goes into a Rain Man meltdown rocking back and forth and muttering "Tony Kornhiser is on at 5:30, definitely 5:30, 5:30 sharp, have to be home for 5:30, 20 minutes to Korniser, oh 20 minutes to Kornhiser."

Well this morning when Daddy went downstairs his foot went splash. There was three inches of water across the entire cellar. Daddy did what all Daddy's do. He ran upstairs to tell Mommy. I went down with Mommy, and then she said she was calling daughter number two's husband, the plumber, because something called the sump pup failed. I looked at Pocket and said "Oh boy we're going sailing!"

The plumber came over and he got it so the water wasn't pouring in anymore. Then everyone had to hurry out so they could get to the hospital. I stuck something in the cellar door to pry it open, and the same with the bedroom door, waited for Mommy and Daddy to leave, then sprung Pocket from her crate and we went down to the kitchen. I found a big pot, and a paper towel and we dragged it downstairs.

I put it in the water, used the paper towel as a sail, hopped in, and shiver me timbers, we were sailing away. I was the skipper and had a pee school graduate for first mate (she didn't like being called Gilligan.) I stood in the aft part of our mighty vessel shouting "hoist that bail, turn that sail!"

"Where's the sail, what's a bail?" a confused Pocket asked.

"Hearty astern!" I yelled. "Hoist the lanyards."

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"Ahoy there's a mighty whale!" I yelled backing up and knocking Pocket out of the pot. "Yorkie overboard!" I shouted. "Throw her a line."

Pocket, standing in two inches of water, shook her head, and told me I wasn't any fun to play with, then squished her way back up the stairs and locked herself in her cage.

As for me, I turned stern to the sunset, turned my sails, and rode off.

And the fog's liftin'
And the sand's shiftin'
I'm driftin' on out
Ol' Captain Ahab
He ain't got nothin' on me
So come and swallow me, follow me
I'm trav'lin' alone
Blue water's my daughter
'n I'm gonna skip like a stone
Shiver me timbers
'Cause I'm a-sailin' away

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