Saturday, March 6, 2010

Pocket vanquishes the sinister Chihuahua

I may not have won the election but I did vanquish my most hated opponent. The sinister Chihuahua is gone.

For those of you who don't know the sinister Chihuahua is my arch nemesis. He escapes from his house when I am outside peacefully doing my business and charges at me with dark eyes and snarling teeth. I am a peaceful pup and do not like violence but when another pup confronts me in such a manner I have no choice but to put my tail between my legs and hide behind my Daddy while the Chihuahua barks the nastiest curse words in a mixture of American and Mexican.

But last weekend a big truck pulled up the the sinister Chihuahua's front door and men began to load his sinister belongings. Foley and I sat on the back of the couch and watched wondering if this was one of his sinister plots. Plus we wanted to make sure he left too, not that he was just banishing his humans to live in his own evil kingdom.

We never did see him carried out, nor a crate, nor a pouch, nor two men in hazmet suits with a locked box not wanting to come in contact with pure evil. The only sign we had of him exiting the house was the stream of black smoke that curled out of the house and into the back of the truck before it moved away.

Later that day Foley and I went outside and checked out the sinister Chihuahua's house. We smelled no evil, saw no evil, heard no evil, and spoke no evil which means we are one step above the monkeys on the evolutionary scale.

There is one sad note, well at least for Daddy, and the male of the human species, because the sinister Chihuahua's Mom was the neighborhood porn star whose movies are sold at Bostonbabies.com. Mommy has never let me see the movies but I believe the sinister Chihuahua is her evil pimp.

But we still have our other colorful neighbors like Mr. Franksandbeans. This is a true story: I swear on Mommy. While Daddy was carrying me while taking out the trash (I am there for protection) Frankandbeans got out of a car in mid conversation and said "I don't taste the puss either."

Daddy told Mommy this story and then they both just looked at one another with the confused looks on their faces when there is unaccounted vick on the floor.

But thanks to Franksandbeans I do know to chase the cats but never actually taste them.

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