Saturday, July 2, 2011

Schools out for the summer. Schools out forever

Great news.    Mommy is out of school for the summer, and out of school forever.  She got laid off. 

I have been observing humans for 11 years now and I am fascinated with the way they use language.  If a human tells someone they got laid, it's a cause for celebration.  If a human tells someone they got off, well, it's a little gross, but still a good thing.  But if a human tells another human they got laid off everyone is sorry for them.

Humans used to get fired.  Like Mr. Trump says:   "you're fired."    He didn't lay off Star Jones.  And I would be very surprised if he laid with her.  She's not enough Star, too much Jones. 


Humans also use the term terminated.  This too is very clever.  First thing pops into a human's brain when they here terminated?  The Terminator

Now there is a man who knows about laying, getting off, and layng people off.  And what did he say.  "I'll be back."    Being either laid off or terminated plants the seed in a human's brain that they might be coming back, when there is no chance that they will.

So Mommy has been fired, displaced, dismissed, given the axe, sacked, whacked, forced out, evicted from the castle, not master of her domain, punted, dumped, scattered at sea, walked the plank, left at the shelter, had her nails trimmed.  It was a day I have dreamed of for a long time.  But when Mommy came home and I saw her long face I felt terrible that this dream had come true but the sausage tree dream remains elusive.  Oh of all the dreams to answer.  They gave her the shaft.


I have also studied human workers and I want to give you all advice.  First of all, when at work, try to do as little as possible.  If you do work, you create work, and the bosses don't like to have work created.  What you want to do is when your boss comes out don't look like you are working hard.  Sit down and breathe quickly then asleep at work.  Your boss will think you are taking a break because you were just working hard.



Maybe Mommy should have tried harder.  She said she gave all she had everyday.  But maybe it should have been a little more..

So now I am getting my full Denny Crane on. 
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7 comments:

  1. Eggsalent post Foley! Poor Mommy had to go thru all of that but she's probably realizing by now that it's a real load off - you know what I mean jellybean? Take care Bud and help Mommy relax and enjoy this Independence weekend b/c she's independent now!

    Reba
    http://MUTTeringsAndThings.blogspot.com

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  2. How awful for your mommy. No one wants to be fired, terminated or all those other words you used, unfairly. Humans can be so inhuman when they get a little power over another human and do things that make no sense. She is lucky to have someone like you watching out for her.

    You found three of my favorite clips in the world in this blog. Am I awful that I cheered when Rosalyn fell down the shaft?

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  3. Unbelievable by the way how you managed to match the videos so perfectly to your comments. You are one smart doggy.

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  4. Oh. My. Dog. And this is why the school system is so screwed up. All the hard working good teachers are being run off by the half-ass folks who work like dogs. The same thing just happened at our high school in town four of the best teachers I ever had the privilege to learn from were let go. It's a sad state of affairs. But I bet havin' your Mama home will be the BEST. Thing. EVER.

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  5. Their loss!!! Your mom is awesome..
    Unleash hell, Foley & Pocket!

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  6. Years ago, Mommy witnessed the company she was working for lay off several people who were close to retiring. These folks had given their all for 30+ years and the company laid them off. Could it be they did this so they lost the bulk of their retirement? All I know is it a pretty cruddy thing to do to someone who is so close to retirement. It was right then and there that Mommy made her decision to be loyal to herself and not the company she worked for. She always maintained a great work ethic, but when opportunity knocked, she ran out the door to the better job. To heck with loyalty; these companies could care less about us as individuals. I'm sorry this happened to your Mommy, Foley & Pocket. She got caught up in the "ring around the rosy game" and, unfortunately, she fell down. Love, Blazer & Mom

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