Saturday, July 23, 2011

The Yorkie that laid the golden vick

I could have used your help this week.  I was in desperate need of a slop pass.  I was on the rice and chicken diet for three days because of loose stools.  I mean loose stools?  Come on!  Do humans pay attention to what comes out of them?  The noise.  The smell.  How do you manage to sit on the seat and still manage to get remnants on the very seat you are sitting on?  And you humans keep eating the same crap?  But it's 110 degrees outside, I am forcefully toothbrush mouth raped on a nightly bases, I have stress with the Ning weasels and I don't have the proper consistency for a couple of days and wham I'm on slop.  But I have to thank Kolchak's and Felix's Mom Aunt Jodi who suggested some yummy pumpkins that firmed me up like a virgin at the Spiderman conference at Comic Con.  We then had Poop Watch 2011 on Twitter with Koli and my tweet friend Princess Abby and by Friday afternoon I was like the goose who laid the golden eggs if golden eggs pickers made a face of extreme discomfort when picking up the eggs then tossed them in a big trash barrel with about two dozen other golden eggs.  Then when I came back inside the house someone stole my couch.  But that's a story for another day.  I also want to thank Aunt Jodi for convincing Mommy to do away with my ball gag tooth brush and use soft cotton on my teeth.  She's the best.  Also she had the brilliant idea of feeding my parents nothing but cereal.  Now I won't worry about them leaving remnents.  I just don't know why she stole my couch.  But that's a blog for another day.  So my golden vicks are back, my toothbrush has been thrown away, and Pocket Dog Dog Detective is working on the case of my missing couch.  Well, two of three ain't bad.

3 comments:

  1. How wonderful that you have humans who notice the consistency of your Vicks and are willing to do something about it.

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  2. LOL, you crack me up Foley. But here is the thing - we don't have your couch. We already have too many couches at our house on account of the Daddy being a real jerk wad and refusing to get rid of his disgusting bachelor couch that no one even likes anyways and has a weird smell. Is your couch better than that one? Maybe we can arrange a couch swap of sorts.

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  3. Oh boy, I always keep an eye on Blazer's vick's. It just too bad my name is Vicki and my good friends call me Vick. I wish for everyone to start calling me Louise since that's my middle name. Thank you, thank you... thank you very much. BOL! Blazer's Mom, Louise, or LuLu, or Weezie

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