Pocket and I have watched the Westminster Kennel Club Dog show over and over and we have to tell you, we don’t get it. When they line up those dogs for best in breed every dog looks exactly the same. Where do we celebrate our individuality?
and I are in the Toy Group. We are not happy about this. We are not
toys. We are street smart, tough, small dogs. If you pick us up do
we squeak? Well, OK, we do, but that is besides the point. Do children
fall in love with us instantly and want to play with us? OK, that’s
another yes. When we sit very still in the window do people mistake us
for fluffy toys? Well, yes, true. Maybe you can change it to the
Rugged Toy Group.
Here are the breed characteristics for us Yorkies”
be best in show I would have to have long hair. Sorry Ringo. This
isn’t for me. I don’t want to get my long snarls brushed every day.
And gosh knows what I would pick up on my walk. And when I vick, how
do I keep the hair out? Do I have to walk on my front legs. The whole
long hair thing seems like a bad idea to me. I don’t know why short
haired Yorkies can’t be considered. Personally I think both Pocket and I
are beautiful dogs with short hair. It says we should hold ourhead
high and have an appearance of self-importance. I think I have that one
head is supposed to be flat on top. I don’t know what that means. Am I
supposed to walk around with a book on my head? When I am at the
groomers, and I bark that a dog is a flat head, it’s not a compliment.
My teeth are a problem, I’m missing a few. Plus I have an over bite.
It is actually one of my best features because it makes my tongue stick
out. I don’t know how Pocket’s bite is except it hurt likes heck.
The nose needs to be black. What other color could it be? Well it
could be brown because we have either eaten something we shouldn’t or
really want Mom to like us. Our eyes need to be sparkling with a sharp
intelligent expression. I think we have nice eyes. But does it mean
anything if our blog is sparkling with sharp intelligent expression
Also out eyes should be carried erect. But if your eyes stay erect for
more than four hours call your vet.
bodies are supposed to be well proportioned and compact. Well, I’m
well proportioned and Pocket is compact. Our shoulders should be the
same height as our rump. I am going to have to find my Suzanne Somers
video to make that happen.
states our forelegs should be straight, our elbows either in nor out.
Excuse me: But to be best is show I have to have elbows on my legs? I
think not. Our hind legs stifles should be bent. What the hell is a
stifle, and why was Archie Bunker always ordering Edith to get him
one> Have you ever gone to the vet and told him you had an ache in
your stifle? How are you supposed to bend a body part we don’t know we
have? We also should have black toenails. But what about my pedicures?
What lollipop would choose best in show over great nails? Our
declaws are also removed. I have to ask: If best in show is the best
breed standard, why all the cosmetic surgery?
tail is to be docked to a medium length. OK, this is where I waive the
tail feather. Yorkie tails are beautiful, leave us alone and let us
fly our freak flag. There is something wrong with a people who will
dock your tail but leave your reproductives in place. Then again there
is something wrong with cutting off our reproductives and not docking
our tail. You people can’t wait to snip and clip can you? It is like
you all have Edward Scissorhand envy. New rule between dog and man:
You don’t clip and we don’t nip. Or better yet you don’t dock and we
won’t talk about your little clock.
texture and quantity of coat are of prime importance which are all
things my Daddy said didn’t matter. Our hair must be straight, not
wavy, which is a real blow to the doggy mousse industry. The rules say
it should be floor length. Look, I like to clean the floor with my
tongue but I’m not a swifter. Oh and I should have a bow in my hair.
Why should I have to get myself dressed up pretty? What am I some
sweet harlot looking to pick up a Johnny Fun Time? Personally I love
our short haired looks. Frankly I don’t have time to do my hair in the
are born black and tan and are normally darker in body color, which
makes Rick Santorum want to vomit. The color of our hair continues to
be important through life. When I was in my rebellious age, three
through five, I had a pink Mohawk. That really set back my show dog
career.. The richness of the tan on our head is important so apparently
we need to resemble a drat of Guinness. Also we need to be a dark
steel-blue not a silver blue. Personally I have had the I lost my
ovaries blue for a long time.
Color on Body
blues have to extend over our body from the neck to the root of our
tale. Note: In 1967 BB King had a top then hit with How Blue is My
don’t want to know what this means. And I don’t want to know. When I
was Queen Yorkie in France I was know for saying “Let them eat kibble.”
Lots of pups lost their head of that one but I escape with mine.
Chest and Legs
I’m not sure what they are going for here but I am sure implants are not appreciated.
not exceed seven pounds. I don’t agree with this at all. I think we
are creating bulimic pups. I weigh slightly over seven pounds. Let’s
here it for all the real lollipops with curves. Woof, woof.
neither Pocket or I will ever be best in show. But we’re best in our
house. I don’t have a problem with show dogs. They all seem like good
pups to me. But to our owners we don’t need a list of rules about what
makes us perfect. They know we are all truly perfect at heart.