Foley's Top Ten List of Behaviors Dogs Learn From Humans
Has your human ever looked at you and yawned? Yes, agreed, it is quite rude, but do you find yourself yawning back, and not just out of spite but out of some strange, uncontrollable response? Well, a group of researchers from Scientists Who Aren’t Interested in Studying Anything Helpful have learned that dogs become more susceptible to yawning when their humans yawn. Now that’s a waste of time.
The researches from the Lund Institute, I believe, although given their studies, it could be the (Quaa)Lude Institute, determined that dogs, over a course of time, develop empathy for humans. Over a period of time? How many humans havepuppies who from the first day know when their parents are happy or sad, anxious or relaxed? Us dogs, we work hard on this, we pride ourselves on this, it has been learned from generation to generation, we are the most empathic beings in the world, and it’s not from yawning, it’s from love. And please, stop studying us, we aren’t hard to figure out, we love you and would do anything for you. You don’t need a PHD to figure that out.
But Pocket and I have studied on our own the strange ways of humans and we now pick the top ten things that humans do that we immediately do as well. How many do you do? 10) Climb under a blanket 9) When someone farts lift your nose up, sniff around the room, look everyone in the eye, and try to figure out who did it. 8) When a giant bird flies above you, no matter how high, you duck. 7) When someone comes to the door you either grant them with a slap on the handshake, a hug, or jumping and humping a leg. 6) When trying to attract another you run your fingers through your hair or lick your genitalia. 5) When exasperated, you puff your cheeks then blow air out of your mouth or run around the house and barking at every sound. 4) When are thinking very hard or about to dunk a basketball you stick your tongue out. 3) You bark. (While researching this post I learned barking, jumping and growling are considered tics shared by humans and dogs, so, if you get yelled at for barking, remind your parents that you don't yell at them for their tics: blinking and biting their lips, so they shouldn't yell at you for copying theirs.)
2) Procrastinate. (If humans just laze around all day dogs will just lie lazily in the sun all day long. If it wasn’t for lazy humans dogs would get a lot done.)
1) Eating (If a human eats then we copy them and want to eat. In the wild dogs do not beg humans to eat, we just rip them apart. But once we come into the home and see humans eating it makes us hungry and we beg for food. If humans weren’t eating, we wouldn’t beg for food, so don’t get mad at us when we beg, you’re the one stuffing your face.)