Foley Represents Floyd the Carpet Eater

Today on Judge Judy.....

Announcer - This is the plaintiff:  She is known as Dougall’s and Floyd’s Mom who writes this blog.    She came home one day to find her boxer Floyd eating the carpet and put him in his crate.  She says he has misbehaved and lost his chance at freedom.

This is the defendant:  Floyd who is represented by Foley Monster Attorney at Paw.  Floyd  says he was just inspecting the carpet when his Mom came home and found him.  He claims he did nothing wrong and was framed.  He is accused of being a carpet eater.

Bird:  Grumble, grumble, all rise.

~Judge Judy comes out and sits on the bench~

Judge Judy:   Are you Mr. Floyd?

Floyd:  Yes I am your honor.

Judge Judy:  And this Miss Foley Monster she is your attorney?

Foley Monster:  That is right your honor.

Judge Judy:  Well Mr Floyd I wish you luck.  Miss Foley Monster is no stranger to this court and I don’t think she had won a case yet isn’t that so Miss Foley Monster?

Foley Monster:  I believe that was beginner’s unluck.

Judge Judy:  Well we shall see about that.  Now, Floyd’s Mom, you had some carpets damaged and you believe the defendant is responsible.  I will hear you now.

Floyd’s Mom:  I came home one day and I found the carpet was ripped up and Floyd had a large strip of carpet in his teeth.

Judge Judy:  Do you have any witness to the crime?

Floyd’s Mom  Yes I have his brother Douggal.

Judge Judy:  Douggal will you please tell the court what you saw on the date in questoin.

Douggal:  I saw Floyd ripping apart the rug with his teeth.

Floyd:  Mom always liked you best.

Douggal:  That’s because I don’t eat the carpet.

Judge Judy:  ~Sharply~ Do not address one another.  Do you have anything else.?

Floyd’s Mom:  No.

Judge Judy:  All right Miss Monster we will hear your side.

Foley Monster:  Judge, we will capitulate that Floyd’s Mom did come home and find him ripping apart the rug but she did not know the reason why.  Your honor Floyd’s Mom’s house has been infected by carpet bugs.

Judge Judy ~Leans back,  bug eyed with a stunned expression ~ Carpet bugs?  That’s ridiculous.  There are no such thing as carpet bugs.  Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining.

Foley Monster:  That was my sister Pocket Dog with the peeing problem your honor.  She’s almost got it licked.

Judge Judy:  I don’t want to hear about your licking Foley you understand me?  Now back to this ridiculous claim of carpet bugs.

Foley Monster:  They are real things your honor.  They came about when bed bugs mated with carpenter ants.  They are under a lot of carpets.  Do you have any carpet in the courthouse?

Bird:  Your office has carpet, grumble, mumble, grumble.

Judge Judy:  Fine.  We will go to my office and check the carpet.

~Everyone follows Judge Judy into her office.~

Judge Judy:  All right Mr. Floyd.  You seem the be the expert carpet eater but if there is nothing found your Attorney is going to pay for my new carpet do you understand that Miss Monster?

Foley Monster:  Yes your honor.

Judge Judy>  All right Mr. Floyd, eat away.

~Floyd begins to rip up the carpet and bugs come out from under it.~

Foley Monster:  There it is your honor.  Carpet bugs.  

Bird:  Does are bugs mumble grumble.

Floyd’s Mom:  Oh my Floyd were there really carpet bugs under the rug?

Floyd:  ~Looks back and forth confused,~  Yes.  Yes those are the bugs I was looking for.

Floyd’s Mom:  I am so sorry Floyd.  Let me take you home and give you a treat.

Judge Judy:  Congratulations Foley Monster I believe you have won your first case.  Bird get someone to replace this rug.

Foley Monster:  Judge Judy do you mind if I use your office to call my Mom for a ride home?

Judge Judy:  I suppose but don’t pee on the floor and tell me it’s raining..

Foley Monster:  Thank you Judge Judy. ~Under her breath~ That pee thing isn’t old.  ~They leave.  Foley whistles for Pocket who comes out from under the desk.~  You did a great job with the bugs.  Where did you get them from?

Pocket:  I ordered them online.  I had to hide them before the trial.

Foley Monster:  Where did you hide them?

Pocket:  Under the rugs at our house.

Foley Monster: ~Hits herself in the head with her paw.~  Oh Pocket Mom is going to kill us.  We need to rip up the rugs.  ~Thinking~  Floyd?  Sharpen your teeth.  It’s time to pay your legal fees.