No More Woof? No Way Pocket Says

I know that in my Pack I am considered the innocent, gullible one.  But I can’t be anymore innocent or gullible than the poor humans.  A group of scientists who are obsessed with our behavior have concocted a scheme to separate our well meaning parents from their hard earned cash.

The Nordic Society for Invention and Discovery (why is it always scientists from the North?  Does all that snow and ice make them bored?)  has developed “No More Woof” which distinguishes our thought patterns and then issues them in short sentences via a microphone.

Or these scientists could have asked our Moms who already know what we are saying.  

67% of the time we are saying “Food, food, food, give me food, I want food, food, food, oh boy food. do you have food, I want food, are you eating food, can I have some food, food food, are you going to eat that food, food, food, food, I smell food.”

When we want your attention, there is “Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey you, you, hey you, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, you, you, you, you, hey, hey, hey.”

When we see something out the window:  “Hey, you, you, hey you, hey, get out of my yard, out, out, hey you, out, out, out.”

Other popular dog quotes - when there is the sound of a car door:  “who’s that?  who’s that?  who’s that? Get the door, get the door, get the door, there’s somebody out there, there’s somebody other there, there’s somebody out there;” the always popular “Ball!  Ball!  Ball!  Ball!  Throw the ball!  Throw the ball!  What are you waiting for?  Throw the ball!  There it goes!  Ball, ball, ball, ball, ball ball, ball, ball, ball, ball, ball, got it.  Throw the ball!” and “right there, oh right there, that’s the spot, oh yeah, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, oh baby, there, there, there,” and most popular of all “I didn’t do it Dad, don’t listen to Mom, honest to god when you’re not home she just sits around the house drinking and chewing up your golf shoes.”

Hopefully our parents will see through these charlatans and not give them a dime because they always know what we are saying from the clever looks in our eyes.