Ask Aunt Foley

Dear Aunt Foley:  I went for a walk with my parents the other day and I let them take me off the leash and then they got lost.  Is there anything that can be done with humans so they don’t wander off in the woods and get lost?  - Lou  ee

Lou ee you must either always stay tethered to your parents or always keep them within your eye range.  Humans are only one bite away from becoming zombies. They are actually in a pre-zombie state.  They wander around aimlessly often tricked by the first thing that smells good.

While you have the code of the jungle in your DNA that code is absent in your parents.  They are always getting stuck in bear traps, wandering into a lion’s den, rubbing butter and honey on their legs to block the sun in full view of a savage coyote.  They just cannot be left to their own devices in the wild.

I know, as a dog, it is hard for you to ignore the scents that come by, or the sounds that you here.  Something goes off in your brain and you forget everything else and run off after it.  This instinct is very hard to quell.  But you have to remember that your parents always come first.

Of course there is the very annoying fact that when parents to get lost they always point the finger of blame at us  Hey, we’re not the one who left the door open, or didn’t put the leash on tight enough, or let go of the tether.  But they always present what happened as “Lou ee ran off.”  Hah!   Our lives would all be easier if parents spent less time dog shaming and spent more time taking blame