Thursday, May 25, 2017

The Story that I bit Pocket's Ear is Fake News by River Song

Two weeks ago I was accused of a very serious, in fact, some would say felonious, act, the biting of my dear sister, Pocket's ear.  I want to state, in great surety, that not I, or anyone on my staff, bit my sister.  This is a made up excuse by Pocket to explain why she was not the first one to greet Mommy as the door.  They said I had no clear path to get to the door first.  No Griffon has ever got to the door first like I did. But I did.  And when I did I was greeted by the most mommies ever.  Period.  
Pocket, who is totally unreasonable, kept this phony, made up story that I bit he,r alive.  She invited one of the birds at the feeder to “independently” investigate if I bit her.  I think having a bird involved divides the house, but Mommy allowed it.  I met with the bird on three different occasions, where the bird confirmed to me that it did not think I was the one who bit Pocket’s ear.  Satisfied with that answer I fired the bird.
The next day I had some of my cat friends over, and I bragged about firing the grandstanding, nut ball bird, which did take a load off of me, and I told the cats on what branches the birds lived, which I guess was a secret.  One of the cats was a bird sympathizer and told them that I had leaked their secrets to the cats.  I immediately denied the entire thing.
Word got back to mommy from those damn birds, and now she is investigating the incident.  I don’t know how Pocket’s ear got bit,  It could have been China.  It could have been some fat guy sitting on his bed in New Jersey.  She could have jumped off the couch and got her ear snipped by the ceiling fan.
I don’t think there has ever been a dog who has been treated worse in the history of bad things.  And yet I persevere.  
In closing, let me say, that, while I did not bite her ear, and I have already been told by Mommy that I am in the clear if I had bit her ear, she had it coming.  If she had greeted Mommy at the door, it would have flown off the hinges and decapitated Mommy, so I did it for the good of the house.
And that’s the truth.

12 comments:

  1. The next time Maggie starts a fight with me, I am calling you to represent me in the Court of Mom. stella rose

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  2. Excellent defense from trying to malign you. You should hang out your law sign

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  3. You just can't trust some of those birdies. Oh, I startled the grackles earlier today and they all started yelling and swearing at me. Crummy birds! The cardinals and chickadees are OK, though. But I don't think they're interested in legal work. Hopefully Pocket's ear will get better and the whole thing will be forgotten.

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  4. Do we smell some alternative facts in this story?

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

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  5. Hmmmmmm....we think we've heard that story before....

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  6. Yes, I have to agree....something stinks in this story, and it isn't my pharts......
    Kisses,
    Ruby ♥

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  7. Thanks for keeping your home safe!

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  8. I think your version of the story is tru-er... ceiling fans can give you a new haircut, so I think they do ear-cuts too ;o)

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  9. BOL Well you made a good case River. We'll give you that one. If only you could look as innocent as Pocket..

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  10. I believe you. I didn't bite Syd's face and make her bleed either. All the other dogs told Mom that I did it but would I do a thing like that? Beside Syd was being mean and wouldn't give me my ball even though she doesn't like to play ball. She had it coming. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
    Mackey

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