Thursday, February 1, 2018

Pocket Prefers Pooping Solo

Where was I?  Oh, that’s right.  My favorite blogging subject.  Midnight poops.

I prefer to take my midnight stroll solo.  Daddy is welcome.  Someone has to pick up the poop.  But I would prefer to leave River behind.  She has no patience for anyone’s pooping except her own.

When River doesn’t go with us, she hops over to the kitchen window and peers outside with a sad look on her face.  She forlornly watches as we walk up the street up till we are out of sight.  She stays there until she can see us then she begins to howl.  It is rather pathetic.  Even though she is inside where it is warm and dry, and with Mommy, she is so unhappy.

Most of the time, when she doesn’t go out it is for her own good.  It is either really cold or very wet, two things that she can’t tolerate.  Usually, River anticipates when it is time to go outside and pees on her pads just before Daddy grabs the leashes.  You would think she would be happy not have to partake in accompanying me for the midnight poop of Pocket Dog.

She is fine staying inside when we stay in the yard, but once we turn up the street, she becomes jealous.

In my opinion, taking her with us is worse. Daddy holds our leashes in his right hand keeping his left hand available for poop grabbing.   I need to take a couple of hundred steps before I can entertain the possibility of pooping.  River pees first but then she wants to go back in the house and starts walking in the wrong direction.  I join Daddy in providing enough force to drag the stubborn Griffon up the street.

When I finally reach my poop spot, I begin to spin, spin, spin, spin like a spinning top.  I can spin around thirty times before I pop a squat.  Spin and squat the is my system.

 When River is with me, she can pull me out of my spin, and when that happens, I have to start twirling again.  I have a poop system, it works for me, and I am not changing it for my impatient sister.

Daddy has to hold River’s leash with his free hand until I squat.  Then he lets go of the leash to grab a bag while I am squatting and River begins to walk home.  Have you ever been dragged forward mid evacuation?  It is disruptive, it is painful, and it is inconsiderate.  If River doesn’t  respect my poop system, she should stay home. Certain things are sacred. 

I do hope River’s pulling during my pooping become more of a problem than her sad face in the window when I got out with Daddy at night.


How much is that doggy in the window?  Not enough to interrupt a good

13 comments:

  1. Spin and squat - that is too funny. Don't you just hate it when you get yourself into that perfect squat and River starts to pull the other way - makes for a very stressful movement.

    Woos - Lightning, Misty, and Timber

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  2. BOL! I like poopin wif my pals - but I pretty much always poop first.

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  3. Did your pooping cause the lunar eclipse?

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  4. Hee hee I like the spin and squat move! I do a little of that myself ;)
    Morrie!

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  5. Hazel & I poop separately but I like to wait for her to pee then I pee where she peed
    hugs
    Mabel
    Hazel too

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  6. BOL! Ma's Angel Maggie did that! Spin I don't knows how many times then poop. Butts, sometimes the chosen spot wasn't quite right, so another spot had to be found. This could take up to ten minutes. No matter what the weather! Ma said it drove her nutty (not a long drive BTW...just sayin')
    I, on the other paw, am easy! no drama here. I do, however, have my famous walk-n-poop I likes to do sometimes ~ butts that's a story for another time...
    Kisses,
    Ruby ♥

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  7. I#m a solo pooper too... and I'm a home-pooper like mr. finch in american pie ,O)))

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  8. I whole-heartedly agree, River. I much prefer to poop alone. I have, however, witnessed synchronized pooping between Lucy and Xena...you know, facing the same direction, same looks on both faces, all at the same time. I sight to behold. (Xena and Lucy's Mom)

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  9. Pocket we are rolling on the floor w/ tears in our eyes.
    This is hilarious "
    "When River is with me, she can pull me out of my spin, and when that happens, I have to start twirling again. I have a poop system, it works for me, and I am not changing it for my impatient sister." Nothing can be worse than having to start the poop spin again.
    I too am a solo pooper and I (if it isn't TMI) prefer wee hours of the morn poop in my box....and you should hear mom squeal w delight each morning. YOu see I'm a senior (almost 16) and I'm on meds than can bind one so I take Miralax (again sorry for the TMI) but guess what it works.
    Hugs madi your bfff

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  10. We all have our special way to poop. Sometimes me and Stanley poop side-by-side!

    Keep Calm & Bark On!

    Murphy & Stanley

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  11. Sebastian likes his privacy. He waits till the rest of us go inside, then he walks to the farthest corner of the yard to poop.

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