A young man wanted to buy a pair of expensive gloves for his sweetheart's birthday. He went to an expensive boutique, bought the finest gloves available, and asked the saleswoman to have them delivered along with a note he had written. Unfortunately, the clerk mixed up the order while wrapping the merchandise. Instead of the expensive gloves, the clerk accidentally wrapped a pair of panties and sent them to the young man's sweetheart along with the following note which he had written.
Darling:
I have been trying desperately to come up with a special gift for your birthday. I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but since your sister wears the short ones which are so easy to remove, I wanted to get the same style for you.
Two drunken Irishmen in a graveyard.
Paddy starts reading the gravestones.
"Mick" he says;
Would you look at this, a feller here who was 90 when he died!"
"Who's that?" says Mick.
"Somebody called O'Toole from Kerry," he replies.
Mick says, "Never mind him, there's a feller here called Murphy, was 99 when he died! From Castletown of all places!
"Well thats nothing!" says Paddy.
"What about what written on this feller's stone, here right beside the gate!"
"The stone says 147!"
"147? thats amazing!" says Mick.
"Who was he?"
"Well according to the stone, its somebody called Miles to Dublin
One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened.
The blonde said that her mother had passed away.
The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left.
The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again.
She asked her why she was crying this time.
The blonde said, "I just got off of the phone with my sister. Her mother died too”
