Suzie's Wild Ride

I have grown quite accustomed to being the most famous dog in my city of Taunton Massachusetts.  Pocket is number two.  Orkie the Yorkie three and Neely four and that’s about it.  And let’s face it, I made the other three.  They are bupkus without me.  

But then along came Suzie.  Many of you have heard her story.  She ran out onto a busy street, Route 44 headed towards Providence, called Winthrop Street by the yokels here.  She had to cross a golf course (big deal) and then a busy road (OK, bigger deal.)  This is the type of street where people drive about 60 mph and don’t look anywhere but ahead.

99 times of out 100 Suzie isn’t making it across the street.  And she didn’t.  But she didn’t get squished either.  What happened to her?  Well I have the exclusive interview with her right here:

Foley Monster:  So Suzie, it was a normal day, you were in your yard,  take it from there.

Suzie:  I WAS UNDER THE CAR!  UNDER THE CAR!  IT WAS MOVING!  I WAS UNDER THE CAR!

Foley Monster:  I know that Suzie, I know, you can relax now, you are safe and back with your family, just tell me, slowly, what happened.

Suzie:  WHAT HAPPENED WAS I WAS UNDER THE CAR,!  THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED.  I WAS IN MY YARD, HAVING FUN, FIGURED OUT HOW TO GET UNDER THE FENCE, WENT FOR A RUN, FOUND MYSELF IN THE STREET AND THEN I WAS UNDER THE CAR!

Foley Monster:  Yes, we all know you were under the car, what was it like under a moving vehicle.?

Suzie:  WHAT WAS IS LIKE?  IT WAS LIKE VROOOOOOOOOOMMMM.  IT WAS LIKE FOUR BIG WHEELS OF DEATH.  I WAS UNDER THE CAR!

Foley Monster:  We know, but how did you end up in the grill of the car/

Suzie:  I WAS IN THE STREET AND THE CAR WENT OVER ME AND THEN I WAS UNDER THE CAR!  I ROLLED, AND PART OF THE ENGINE HIT ME AND PUSHED INTO THE AIR AND I LANDED IN  THE GRILL AND THEN I WAS TRAPPED.   UNDER THE CAR!

Foley Monster:  Then what did you do?

Suzie:  WHAT DID IT DO?  I HELD ON TO THE FRACKING GRILL THAT’S WHAT I DID.  I HELD ON AND HOPED SOMEONE WOULD NOTICE ME BUT THEY DIDN’T UNTIL I WAS IN ANOTHER STATE!  NO ONE NOTICES A DOG JAMMED INTO THE FRONT GRILL OF THE CAR?  I WAS UNDER THE CAR!

Foley Monster:  Well Mitt Romney was Governor of our state for six years.

Barak Obama:  I am Barak Obama and I approve this message.

Foley Monster:  I heard you ruptured your bladder during the accident.

Suzie:  I DID NOT RUPTURE MY BLADDER.  IT’S LIKE WHAT BILL COSBY SAID ABOUT HUMANS WEARING CLEAN UNDERWEAR IN CASE THEY ARE IN A CAR ACCIDENT BECAUSE THE FIRST THING YOU DO WHEN YOU ARE IN A CAR ACCIDENT IS SAY I THINK I AM GOING TO.......AND THEN YOU DO IT AND THERE IS NO MORE CLEAN UNDERWEAR AND THIS IS ESPECIALLY TRUE IF YOU ARE UNDER THE CAR!

Foley Monster:  When they discovered you in the grill of the car, it took them a half hour to get you out.  What were you thinking during that time?


Suzie:  I WAS THINKING GET ME OUT FROM UNDER THE BOTTOM OF THE CAR!

Foley Monster: Do you feel lucky to be alive?

Suzie:  I FEEL LUCKY TO BE OUT FROM UNDER THE CAR!  I WAS UNDER THE CAR!

Foley Monster:  Have you learned your lesson?  Are you ever going to leave the house again?

Suzie:  LEAVE THE HOUSE?  I’M NOT LEAVING UNDER THE BED.  I’M UNDER THE BED.  UNDER THE BED!

   

Petfinder's Adopt the Internet Day Our Home Town Taunton MA

Today is Petfinder's Birthday and also their first Adopt the Internet Day.  Anyone willing can use their blogs, Facebook Status or Twitter to help promote pets who need good homes.  We are going to start with dogs in our local Taunton Ma Animal Shelter and Yorkies Inc Placement Service

Our first dog is an Australian Cattle Dog named Finn.  Your can check out his profile Here

Our next cute little local pup is a Yorkie and we know Yorkies should never be in shelters.  Her name is Glitter.  She is seven years old and her profile is HERE

And there is another little Yorkie, five years old, named Ivy who you can find out about here

If your interested in a hound dog then you can read about Sara HERE

For friends of big dogs could you find a spot in your heat for Mandy an American Staffordshire Terrier that you can learn about here

Have you met any Brussels Giffons?  How about Dexter and Danny who can read about here

One of our favorite pups who is now at Rainbow Bridge was named Ladybug.  This Ladybug is up for adoption and if she is anything like our friend she will bring joy and love into your heart.  Read about her here

And finally we have an adorable Bichon named GiGi to brighten your home.  Learn about her here

TBTV reporter Hobo Hudson interviews candidate Pocket

Hobo: Good evening: I am Hobo Hudson and welcome to Tanner Brigade Tonight TVTB’s look at the issues of the day. Our guest this evening is Independent candidate for Massachusetts Senate Pocket Q. Rocket. Welcome Ms. Rocket.

Pocket: Thank you for having me this evening Hobo. I am looking forward to your questions.

Hobo: Pocket, you live in the city of Taunton MA. Recently an eight year old boy was sent home from school and not allowed to come back unless he underwent a psychological exam for drawing this picture: The boy claimed it is a picture of Christ on the cross. Do you support the school system’s stance?

Pocket: Absolutely. Just look at this picture.

That’s the worst Christ on the cross I have ever seen. It looks like that girl Cathy from the Funny Papers being water boarded. If you allow outwork that bad to be in the classroom where does it end? You’ve got to figure out why this kid sucks so bad at drawing and make sure it doesn’t happen. Excuse me, I think my lunch is coming back up, oh boy, deep breathing, OK, just please, take that awful picture away.

Hobo: The child wasn’t suspended because of his artistic ability but because when he said it was Christ on the cross they became afraid it was a violent image. Do you agree it’s a violent image?

Pocket: Oh yes, it is very violent. Did you see the Mel Gibson movie? Wow. I hid under the blanket. I did like it when they showed their butts to the British.

Hobo: I think you have the wrong movie.

Pocket: No, that was the movie I was hiding when it was on.

Hobo: Many feel that this was an assault on religion, that the teacher and principal suspended the boy because he introduced Jesus in the classroom. What is your opinion of religion in the classroom?

Pocket: Well, when my Mommy is working in the classroom I’m praying to the Bridge Gods that she come home and let me out of the crate. My Mom has a lot of kids from the Projects in her classroom, and lots of times she introduced Jesus. They pronounce it Heyzeus like a sneeze and their Dad isn’t home much either.

Hobo: Some blame this on the Massachusetts liberals. Do you see this a symptomatic of an overly liberal culture?

Pocket: Well, people say it’s the liberals, but the ACLU is suing on behalf of the family, so you have liberals suing liberals, and that’s like the Mets playing the Yankees, we don’t care who wins, we just hope someone suffers a season ending injury.

Hobo: Well I think you have given us a lot to think about.

Pocket: Oh I am sorry, I was hoping to give you a lot to nap about.