Poetry Thursday

 We are again participating in Two Spoiled Cats Poetry Thursday

Here is the photo that was selected to inspire us

Get a potbelly pig that’s what they said

After hearing too many times how lonely was Ned

It  would be better than a dog, he doesn’t shed

And would keep Ned warm on cold nights in bed.

Ned found a man who was rehoming his pig

The man promised Ned it would not get to big

And held his breath worried that Ned would renege

Which Ned might have done if he caught while leaving the man dancing a jig

He named the little pig Trevor

And Ned taught him some tricks and said he was clever

Ned was pleased with his endeavor

And when Trevor started to grow it bothered him not whatsoever

Today Trevor weighs more than 700 pounds

And it is an effort for him just to get off the ground

To feed him Ned took all his neighbor’s garbage that could be found

His friends began to worry that his reasoning was not sound

His friends said: “Maybe it is time to find Trevor a new home,
Some place he could roam”

But Ned refused to say Shalom

It was a terrible way to end a poem

Ned stayed loyal to Trevor despite his girth

Size was no way to measure worth

Trevor was Ned’s bear friend on Earth

Because to Ned friends were something no longer in dearth

Wordless Wednesday

 

Beat This Caption

Five day suspension?

I got your five-day suspension right here Zuckerberg

Monday Question

Have your parents ever used. or would they use, a pet sitter

Ruby's answer: My parents haven't but if there was a situation where they were in the hospital they would consider it.

 

The Ruby Rose Report: A Visit from the Halflings

 

It was a normal Sunday afternoon. My Dad was working, and Mommy and I, sitting in her recliner, watching something mindless on the TV and happily drifting in and out when there was a knock at the door.

I jumped off the recliner and ran to it barking. Could it be a person? Since the first of the year, Mommy's brother and sister have come over, and a couple of people to fix stuff. Our house has fewer visitors than a Bobby Kennedy Jr. rally.

It's how I like it.

The door opened and a man who I never met came in like he owned the place and called my Mommy mom. Hey, you swarthy bastard, she's my Mom. She did not correct him and I realized it was my long-lost brother from Florida.

Then, trailing him were three little people, with tiny little fingers and feet, barely half the size of the humans. I began barking to warn my new brother and old mom that we were being invaded by hobbits. Then they attacked my mom with kisses and hugs. I continued to bark out warnings, but no one was paying attention to me. Then something awful happened.

The hobbits began to pay attention to me.

I was trapped. They got down on the floor and surrounded me. They let me sniff their hands. They smelled orange. It wasn't bad. They gently touched me. I could tell they were familiar with dogs. I got ear scratches, head rubs, neck tickles, and butt scratches. I tried to keep my stubby trail from waging, but tails have minds of their own.

I had not realized how starved for attention I was, but then it got to be too much, and I jumped up on Mommy. Daddy came home from work and they settled down to talk, and I put things together

The man was Mommy's son from Florida and the hobbits were his children. That is why they smell like oranges. Mommy called them her grandchildren. They were good and I liked them, but I will have to spend more time with them before I deem them grand. 

Then they got up to leave. They would be going back to Florida. I have lived in both states and I have no idea why they would go back to Florida in the summer. If it is hotter than ass here, then in Florida it is hotter than ass on a Miami Monday wearing long johns and black corduroy pants.

Seeing them made my parents happy, and I did enjoy them too. But then I felt bad because I was missing them.

You have to be careful who you open your door to, you could like them for an hour, and miss them for a year. 

Foley's Tale From Rainbow Bridge: Helping Ruckus Face His Greatest Fear

 

I was very confident, despite my tiny frame, as I navigated the mortal world: I stood up to much larger dogs, and I walked with abandon, chasing everything I saw, even when they were ten times my size.

When Pocket came to live with us I experienced my opposite: Pocket was afraid of everything. I learned to be patient with her. She was like a Bond martini, often shaken, not stirred.

River Song was fearless like me, except about being alone, which made her tremble until our parents returned.

Ruby can be brave and scared at the time. There are things on her walk that scare her, like the sheep statues that are arranged on a neighboring lawn. I walked with her as an angel to show her there was nothing to fear. When we came to the offending animals I told her told her they never moved. I counseled her: "Same sheep, different day."

All dogs, not even Pocket want to be cowardly, except her Courage, who made a mint on being a big wuss, but that was mostly due to the publicist. So, when I get a prayer request from a scared person, I promptly act and teach them how to be brave.

When a prayer came in because there was something in a dog's house that scared him I said I would take it myself. I was worried about what this thing scaring the dog could be. There was a 150-pound pitbull named Ruckus. I hated to think what was big enough to scare me.

I realized the source of heat as soon as I arrived.

A three-pound kitten was sitting on the couch while Ruckus stood in a corner, wanting to go upstairs and see his parents, but when he approached the kitten, it hissed and he ran backward.

I tried to convince Ruckus he had nothing to fear. The kitty just wanted to be his friend.

"Yo, don't go putting no words in my mouth," the cute kitty, "pass by my couch I'll cut a bitch."

Ruckus trembled. 'It's going to hurt me," he said.

I told him he crapped bigger things than the darn cat, but Ruckus was not convinced. I asked the kitty if she would let Ruckus pass and she refused. The standoff continued.

I asked the kitty if she wanted to go on the counter and she answered it was her dream. That was where the good food was. I told her she could ride Ruckus' back and jump on the counter if she let him by and stopped intimidating him.

And thus, the peace was made.

From then on they would be best friends.

But I confided in Ruckus to be careful.

That kitty scared me.

Poetry Thursday

 

We are again participating in Two Spoiled Cats Poetry Thursday

Here is the photo that was selected to inspire us

Julie was the prettiest girl in school
And Peter the subject of ridicule
But despite not having an ounce of cool
He wanted to ask Julie if she would go on a date even if he knew the chances of her saying yes were minuscule.

He approached her with a stumbling gait
Her friends' disapproval they did not have to articulate
He worked up the nerve to ask Julie to go out, and she asked if his brother worked at the amusement park gate
When he said yes she shocked him by saying it was a date.

It would be occurring the upcoming Sunday
They would meet at the gate at a quarter to three
Peter said his brother would let them in for free
She walked away and his heart finally felt carefree,

When he got home he begged his brother to let in for free him and her.
While silent waiting for an answer he prayed his brother would not be a monster.
His brother with a smile did concur
And said, "she probably wants to go on the rollar coaster."

This stopped Peter cold.
He had only been on the coaster once when he was four years old
While on it he screamed, cried, and truth be told
Soon the vomit came uncontrolled

Peter hoped she didn't want to go on the ride
And if she did he hoped she didn't notice when he cried.
But, with her on his arm, it was great to die
Then he practiced on his backyard swing but didn't go too high.

On Sunday, he waited for her, full of worry, visibly nervous
And when he saw her looking so pretty he did blush
He had spent months dreaming of going on a date with his crush.
His brother let them in, Timmy asked what she wanted to do, and she told him the coaster because it was a rush.

It was called the Corkscrew.
While waiting in line Timmy knew there was nothing he could do
He climbed in next to the ingenue
He began to regret while waiting for her stuffing his stomach with barbeque.

As the ride climbed he felt a pounding in his chest
He immediately began to request this quest
As the car reached its peak Peter was in distress
And was sure he was about to suffer from cardiac arrest.

The good news is he survived the ride
But Julie looked at him with the thought of homicide
For as the car did descend the barbeque did slide
The end of thier date was implied

Timmy vomited in her hair, on her shoulder, and shirt
He vomited on her hands, her feet, and her skirt
He vomited continually in gushes flows, and spurts
He vomited everywhere like his head on a a turret

She walked away and spit out words of anger and snipe.
She washed her hair ten times and it still smelled ripe
On Monday Timmy went to school, and his friends wanted to hear about the date after all the hype
But dismissed their inquiries simply saying she wasn't his type.