Wordless Wednesday

 

Monday Question

All pets pee and poop and sometimes we eat things or get sick, and our digestive system causes us to make a big mess.

Thinking back to all the pets you have had who made the biggest mess and how?

The dog on the left is Blake, my parent's first dog together.

When they had Blake they also had a cat named Gizmo,

One morning Blake woke up Daddy to take her outside. When she was done Daddy went to the bathroom and put Blake in bed between him and Mommy. A half-hour later, Blake, who had snuck some poop out of the cat's litter box, vomited a combination of puke and poop which covered the heads board, the sheets, and the pillows, and dripped down the top of the mattress to the carpeted floor. It took a long cleaning, steam cleaning, washing, and disinfectant to clean the room, and it still smelled for a month

The Ruby Rose Report: Walking with the Spirits

 

I enjoy walking around my village. It is quiet, except for the tiny white dog who lives four houses down, and charged me a total of one time. That interaction has caused me to stop walking and be carried until I am safely past the house. I don’t imagine I will continue to demand to be carried past that house after. November 1, 2027.

    Before moving here two dogs ago my parents lived in a condo across the street from the local state hospital for morons, psychopaths, and mental defectives. The designers of the facility created a tranquil setting with long tree-lined paths and soothing floral arrangements.

    It may have been good for the crazies, although I doubt any of the residents stopped beating an attendant with a hammer to remark that the Azaleas were in bloom.

    But if did make a perfect place for pups to walk, which Foley and Blake did, then later when Blake went to the Bridge, Pocket, did. My parents can still remember the spectacular sunset over the cornfield at the hospital, on September 11, 2001l, which told them that all would be peaceful again soon.

    Last week, when I went with my parents to run errands, and my Mom was dropped off to get her nails done, Daddy told me we were going for a walk, at the state hospital a half mile away.

I was nervous. I have never been in a situation where I wasn’t supremely confident, but this was like being in centerfield at Fenway Park. I would be walking with the legends.

We parked in the driveway at the top of the hill across from where the abandoned patient quarters once were, and where Foley would look up at the empty building with broken windows and growl like she did when she saw someone. One evening the old buildings burned. Dad and Foely walked over and watched them burn. The site is part of the Bridgewater Triangle, one of the largest areas of paranormal activity in the country. God knew what those walls were saying before consumed by fire.

The area where the building stood is still fenced in as if that could stop the spirits. There is a tree-lined path to the east. Daddy pulled me twice but I stayed on my butt until I saw them.

Then I saw them, the friendly spirits, Blake, Foley, and Pocket, urging me to join them, which I gladly did.

We walked together, me feeling for the first time a part of the family pack. We crossed the road to another, path, with a yard, with trees that have seen something, and the squirrels who I chased with Foley.

We walked past the corn stalks, and the greenhouse, through a field, and around the new gymnasium. Then we headed back to the car. I crunched my way over freshly fallen leaves and Pocket showed me how to make them fly.

When we reached the bottom of the hill I said goodbye to my angel sisters, and led Daddy up the hill and back to the car where I laid down on a mat and gave thank that I lived on the edge of a paranormal ground zero which made it a lot easier to walk with my angel friends.

I am looking forward to the next one. I just hope there are no pukwudgies around.

Foley's Tails From Rainbow Bridge: Pocket and the Frog Prince

I love picnics. I didn’t partake on the mortal side. My  Mom is not one to sit outside, having an aversion to dirt. But, my first week here, to cheer me up, Tommy Tunes took me for a picnic, on the banks of the River of Life. It was the first time I had felt at peace as I rested on the green grass. I finally understood what rest in peace meant.

I have gone on picnics with many of my angel friends but today it would be just Pocket and I. Sometimes you have to be kind to your smallest sibling (and she has a tiny appetite and there are more Watercress and Bacon sandwiches for me.)

We found a lovely spot and put our blanket down. We sat, and I opened the basket, handed Pocket a sandwich, put my one on the grass while I struggled to open up my cherry preserves, and, when I finally unscrewed the top I noticed my sandwich was gone. I was going to blame Pocket but then I saw a frog near the river bank eating my sandwich.

“Hey!” I yelled and tossed a bully stick stub toward him. (If you know what a bully stick is you will understand what an insult that was.) “Give me back my sandwich,” I barked.

“Pardon me,” the frog said with a well-practiced French accent. “I have been starving since an evil witch changed me from my princely form into a frog body. If you could give me a kiss I will be returned to my original human figure, and I will make you into my princess.”

The old prince in a frog suit who will make you into a princess trick was the number one cause of dogs being separated from sandwiches with the crust cut off. I was going to tell him to give me back my sandwich or I would make a snack out of his legs when Pocket excitedly stood and announced that she would be a princess.

Then she kissed the little green freak square on the lips.

And nothing happened. 

I was about to tell my sister that she had been fooled when a hundred frogs appeared on lily pads and announced that their king was back. Then the frogs carried the prince and the Pocket to a giant lily pad where she was about to be crowned as the Frog Queen.

I yelled at Pocket to stop but she was in her glory, being recognized as royalty. I had to get in line to greet Princess Pocket and the Frog Prince. When I came to her I whispered that she didn’t want to live the rest of her life on a lily pad but she was caught up in being a princess and not thinking about eating fly stew every day.

\\\\\

When the ceremony ended I was prepared to go home when Pocket joined me. I asked her why she wasn’t staying and she explained that she was one of 1,000 frog princesses and the queen was immortal so she would probably never have to rule of the frogs. “I think you should address me as Princess Pocket,” she said.

I told her I would do it for the rest of the night.

Then she told me I also had to pay a dowry of 10,000 bugs to the Prince’s family.

Damn frogs.

They are always working an angle. 

Poetry Thursday

 

This week's inspiration from the Two Spoiled Cats

Mr. Black had a plan

To steal everything he can

But he made a mistake, to drive the getaway van

He hired the Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man.

“He is too recognizable” complained Mr. Blue 

When he saw Stay-Puft as part of the villainous crew

But Mr. Black said there was no reason for a big tadoo

He was sure when they pulled the job Stay-Puft would meet

at the rendezvous. 

The day of the robbery the men stole a million dollar from the bank

And trustworthy Stay-Puft pulled up on the building’s flank

And the crew got in assured the van had a full gas tank

And as they drove away a young boy said to his mom: “The robbery

is a prank.”

His mother was happy of the robbery she and her son

were both a survivor

She asked him what he saw, knowing the boy was a real s

Which was unusual because the boy got good grades, a real striver.

And of the truth he would never deprive her

So he told her the Stay-Puft Marshmallow man was the driver.

She dragged him to the station to see the lead detective.

And the boy gave the cops his perspective

And the detective sent out a directive

And he hoped the boy’s information would be effective.

Law enforcement knew where Stay-Puff’s house was

It was made of marshmallows  which inspired guffaws

Melting in the summer was just one of its flaws

Easy to find, police surrounded the house filled with outlaws

Stay-Puff said they would die before giving up the score

The police hit the house with flame throwers and blew off the doors

And they were able to arrest this criminal game of four

By bombing the house with graham crackers and chocolate

making the house a giant smores

Wordless Wednesday

 

Beat this caption

 

I'm a good boy. please take me home with you. I'll be good. the woman in the black dress and black hills is mean to me