The Yorkie that laid the golden vick

I could have used your help this week.  I was in desperate need of a slop pass.  I was on the rice and chicken diet for three days because of loose stools.  I mean loose stools?  Come on!  Do humans pay attention to what comes out of them?  The noise.  The smell.  How do you manage to sit on the seat and still manage to get remnants on the very seat you are sitting on?  And you humans keep eating the same crap?  But it's 110 degrees outside, I am forcefully toothbrush mouth raped on a nightly bases, I have stress with the Ning weasels and I don't have the proper consistency for a couple of days and wham I'm on slop.  But I have to thank Kolchak's and Felix's Mom Aunt Jodi who suggested some yummy pumpkins that firmed me up like a virgin at the Spiderman conference at Comic Con.  We then had Poop Watch 2011 on Twitter with Koli and my tweet friend Princess Abby and by Friday afternoon I was like the goose who laid the golden eggs if golden eggs pickers made a face of extreme discomfort when picking up the eggs then tossed them in a big trash barrel with about two dozen other golden eggs.  Then when I came back inside the house someone stole my couch.  But that's a story for another day.  I also want to thank Aunt Jodi for convincing Mommy to do away with my ball gag tooth brush and use soft cotton on my teeth.  She's the best.  Also she had the brilliant idea of feeding my parents nothing but cereal.  Now I won't worry about them leaving remnents.  I just don't know why she stole my couch.  But that's a blog for another day.  So my golden vicks are back, my toothbrush has been thrown away, and Pocket Dog Dog Detective is working on the case of my missing couch.  Well, two of three ain't bad.

Kolchak and Felix are our July 3, 2011 pups of the Week

Last week I said that we don't tell the ones we love how much they mean to us until something happens to them.  So let's not do that with two of the best friends a dog could have.  For no other reason then that they are the funniest, most helpful, smartest, sweetest dogs we know, Felix and Kolchak are our pups of the week.

These two do so many little things to help us.  Like this week our friends Scooter and Molly had stinky booger breath.  First I thank the Heavenly Dogs that this week our biggest problems was booger breath.  Scooter and Molly posted a blog asking if anyone had experienced something like this.  I knew exactly what to do.  Stop asking idiots like Pocket and me and ask someone who knows.  That would be Kolchak and Felix.  Within minutes of posting the question for them Koli and Felix had the answer ("could be having a little tummy upset or indigestion. Try a heaping teaspoon of pro-biotic yogurt mixed with a heaping tablespoon of canned pumpkin or mashed sweet potato with meals for three days. If the smell doesn't improve or if it comes back after you stop the probiotics and fibre let us know and we can look at other stuff OK!")

I mean who knows these things? Well Aunt Jodi, their precious Mom, is studying puppy nutrition.  When Mommy and Daddy were young puppy nutrition consisted of opening a can of Alpo, turning their heads from the awful smell, poking a knife down the side of the can, having it slide out like an elephants bowel movement, chopping it up, bringing it outside, feeding it to your dog, and four hours later go out to find a huge, hideous dump of refuse.  But now, thanks to Aunt Jodi people spend more time worrying about what they put in our bodies then what they put in their own, which is good because humans eat some truly disgusting crap.  You dogs know what I mean. The stuff that falls on the floor, you look at it, and decide to lick a dust bunny instead.

Aunt Jodi helped us today without even knowing it.  I became tired of our dog food.  There is no doubt that I am a high performing dog and I need a high performance dog food.  We checked Sage's health group on Tanner Brigade and Kolchak's Koli's Notes blog and found our answer:  Evo. (Koli, if we are wrong, please give us a week before telling is.)  Daddy did a search for Evo retailers and found a garden store near us.  Mommy and Daddy drove there.  Not only did they find the food, but some bird feeders to finish the garden, and deer antlers, which we learned from Koli were excellent chew toys because they don't break off into little bits.  This was an early birthday gift for me and  loved it.I chewed on it for two hours and there wasn't a bit of broken of antler to be ingested.  So, without a phone call, e-mail, text or instant message Koli and Feli got us better food, a great birthday present, and helped feed innocent little birds.

We could go on for thousands of words about everything these two have done:  Through their blog they have taught us so much about food and health; they have taught us all incredible recipes that fill our tummy with yummy; they make us laugh with every blog they publish; they post blogs to rescue puppies; they use birthday celebrations to have contests and raise awareness of their causes and they always have a paw to cry on.  When the lovely Hattie Mae sent me some birthday treats she sent me delicious cookies made from one of Koli's recipes.  Again, helping without even knowing they are helping.

They are there for even the most disgusting problems.  When I decided to eat a wax ear plug (not as yummy as deer antler) and my poo was filled with long, thick, sticky white stuff Mommy sent Aunt Jodi pictures and she looked at my disgusting but sound proof poo and helped Mommy diagnose the problem.  No matter how busy she is she can always find time to help a friend who has done something silly like eating an ear plug. 

When they started their blog Kol's Notes it became an instant hit and they gathered dozens of loyal followers.  When I invited bloggers to the Brigade we got a few responses but when Kolchak and Felix reprinted the blog new members flocked in.

So for all these reasons, and because it is the Fourth of July and they are great Americans *hold on I have been handed a note from Pocket.  They are Canadian?  Really?  Oh well we can't do the whole blog over again, just remember to edit this part out.*

So for all these reasons, and because it was just Canadian Day and they are great Canadians, we are giving them our July 3, 2011 pup of the week.

Kolchak and Felix are our pups of the week for December 26, 2010

I know, I know.  You're all thinking, these two again?  I do like to spread the pups of the week recognition around a little but when the candidates include these two what can you do?

You could very well be asking why we are recognizing Kolchak and Felix again.  No, it's not because they made us a whole tin of great googa ooga balls that we enjoyed more than anything we had all year.  No, we have picked them not just for one reason, because if it was only one we would have passed them over for some pup who got a splinter in his paw, but they actually gave us two reasons.  I mean two reasons:  what can we do?

The first is the incredible work they did in finding new homes for Sota and Freddy.  In Miss Gina's last days she was  very concerned about what would happen to her pups.  She shouldn't have fretted for a second because she belonged to a group with Kolchak, Felix, and their wonderful Mom, Miss Jodi.

When Miss Gina passed to the bridge it was a body blow to all of us.  Miss Jodi, Kolchak and Felix took it as hard as anyone.  But they bounced back off the canvas and undertook a mission.  Miss Gina's puppies were her heart, they needed a new home, and she was going to find one for them.

Between her and Carol (Lou, Jimmy, Hoppy & Captain's Mom) from DS the pups were picked up.  Within six hours Miss Jodi had worked her magic and Freddy was not only placed, but placed at one of the coolest houses in the entire doggy universe with Tommy Tunes.  That is some magical work.

By December 8 the pups were with Lou, Jimmy, Hoppy and Captain's Mom.  They had their forlorn ovaries removed (I don't know why) got their shots, new blankets and toys,  Then the members of DS and TB came together with wonderful advice and chip ins to pay for their medical stays and to figure out the best way to get them to their new homes.

Sota didn't know it as first but she was already in her new home as she became Lou, Jimmy, Hoppy and Captain's new sister.  Meanwhile, after about a dozen blizzards, Freddy got to go to another wonderful house:  Smoochy's, before it is time to go to Tommy's.  To become so many wonderful dogs sister, even for a short time, had to be a thrill.

To get the full story of all the wonderful pups and Moms who helped, because there are so many I don't want forgrt one,  you can read Kolchak and Felix's blog here http://thetannerbrigade.ning.com/profiles/blogs/freddy-amp-sotas-big-news.

Now, if that was all they did, pup of the week?  Poof.  But, in their spare time, in between finding new homes for Pepsi and Sota, Kolchak's beautiful blind side hit on Bret Farve finally ridding the world of him, Felix's becoming Lindsay Lohan's service dog and barking at her whenever she approaches someone with a flask filled with Glenlivet, and their Mom, who made a million great googa ooga balls for our Fesitvus party, they started the Tanner Brigade Secret Paw group which will puts smiles on hundreds of pups faces throughtout 2011.

So it is our honor to recognize Kolchak and Felix as the last pup of the week for 2010.  They are wonderful friends, great story tellers, brilliant organizers, with huge hearts, and a warrior's determination.  They will find a home for you, bake you wonderful treats, and have dogs you never met send you gifts.

I know there are many other pups who helped with Gina's pups, and we'd like to recognize them all, but the modest Kolchak and Felix have already done so, and will continue to.

So here is to Kolchak and Felix, and al the great pups of the Tanner Brigade and Doggyspace.  While Kolchak and Felix accept the award, you are all pups of the week.

Kolchak and Felix are our pups of the week for November 7, 2010

It is an inescapable fact of life that we get older with each passing minute. For dogs, when we age, and our quality of life makes drawing breath more taxing then walking a mile was just a year before, humans do what they term the humane thing, they take us to the doctors, their hearts breaking, their eyes swamped with tears, and we are given a tiny little shot. We fall asleep, and when we wake up we are surrounded by our friends at the bridge, and we can run several miles without being taxed a bit.

But humans don't make the humane decision when it comes to their own kind. Maybe they shouldn't refer to it as humane and change it to canmane since humans aren't allowed the same courtesy of dying in dignity, looking into the eyes of those we love the most, and remembering who they are.

Instead humans either make room for aged family members in their house, where, unless a family has been truly blessed with love, their last days are tension filled, or they are moved into a "home," which is similar to how they came into the world. It is a nursery, just with bigger beds.

Except for our families, who love us more than anyone, other humans who love us are on either side of the life cycle. Little humans get very excited when they see us, yelling their blunt statements of the obvious "look at the puppy, look at the puppy," while older humans just want to give us a scratch, to look into our eyes, to feel our warmth, to look for a sign from us of the many dogs they once owned.

This week, our Pups of the Week, Kolchak and Felix did exactly that, taking time out of their day of test tasting treats and casting, and then recanting, gypsy spells to bring love to those who most need it. Our friend Felix is a registered therapy dog, which we have so much appreciation for because we do not have the discipline to get anything more than a dog license, but Kolchak, he's just a free spirit like us.

But Kolchak brought just as much love without a snip of training as Felix did. They made it a very Happy Halloween for the people there, and probably flooded their minds with a million happy memories. There is no more noble work a dog can do.

Plus Kolchak and Felix single pawedly helped push the organization SAINTS into second place on the Pepsi Refresh Website. The first place finisher gets $25,000 towards their project. By getting the votes to push SAINTS into second place their organization continues to stay in contention on the site and can get the money if we vote. In Kolchak's and Felix's own words: "SAINTS is an organization in our city that provides vet care, shelter, palliative care & end of life services to paws with nowhere else to go."

To honor our pups of the week click this link and give SAINTS a vote. Koly, Felix, and the pups they are rallying for deserve it.

Where Pocket is stuck between a rock and a gypsy curse

Oh what a dilemma I am facing. I have been made a very generous offer from Kolchak and Felix to become part of their family. Normally I would thank them and say that I am very happy with my own family. My Mom means more than anything to me.

Recently I have discovered that the cloud I was living under was lined with my own delusions. You see, I believed not only that I had a loving Mommy, but a loving big sister too, that was until I found out my sister had offered to loan me out as a treat test taster.

"You love treats, you will get them all day long, this is a great opportunity!" Foley said, wagging her tail nervously, trying to cover her shame.

"I would love to be a treat taste tester," I said, "but I only want to test Mommy's treats. And I don't think you made this offer twice, twice, without meaning it, and in full recognition of gypsy law meaning I would be obligated to go or we would be cursed. Plus Smoochy is a better writer than you are."

"Humph!" Foley said, turning around. I knew I had hurt her feelings but she had hurt mine too (and that was a really good blog by Smoochy.)

She went to snuggle in her blanket and I climbed up in the window hoping a gypsy wouldn't come and turn my Mommy into an old hag and my Daddy into an old.... Well let's move on.

Foley then ran downstairs very excited. She said that she had slept on it and she knew what to do. She threw down her blanket, held up her paws, and said "I've got it! A menage a trios"

I looked at her quizzically. "Wait, that wasn't for this problem. I have to write that down for later." Foley scratched it into the rug. She then turned her attention to me: "To keep the gypsy from our door, but not have you move, we are going to clone you."

She pulled out a q-tip and had me lick it. She then went to the basement where she has her laboratory (personally I think a tiny Yorkie lab is the reason no one wants to buy this place) and half an hour later came up with an almost exact duplicate of me, which she called Pickett Dog. We thought this would be the perfect solution to our quandary until Picket snuck out the door, led a group of rebel dogs against the Union squirrels in a forlorn hope challenge on Little Round Top and got wiped out.

"Open up, time for another swab," Foley said.

Her next product was Pucket. We were getting ready to send her to our good friends when she signed to play center field for the Minnesota Twins then left for any oldies tour with the Union Gap.

There were several other swabs, and several others clones: There was Locket, but she was so small you had to wear her around your neck; there was Socket, who seemed perfect, but if you accidentally slipped your finger into her butt you got a shock that sent you across the room; there was Rockit who barked Ozzy Osborne lyrics all night long' and Fockit, the most foul mouthed little dog you ever did come across. Finally we had to abandon our clone quest because Foley was exhausted and I was out of spit.

Finally Foley admitted her faux pas to Mommy who was not happy. But she assured us that Kolchak and Felix were our friends, and would not really put a gypsy curse on us, and if they did, well, we've been through worse. Maybe the gypsy curse would cancel out some of the other curses that have been dogging us recently.

It seems, from their latest postings, that, while Koly and Felix would love to have me as a sister (let's face it, who wouldn't) they would no longer be intent on putting curse on us, which I am very happy about, because I know they're bad, because whenever anything goes wrong in Charlie Brown's life he says either "Good Grief" or "Curses."

But I do have a compromise to offer. Koly and Felix can send me their treats to test and I will blog about their absolute wonderfulness, or not so much wonderfulness. And, if I chose not to try it the Foley can, because she owes both Mommy and I over the entire gypsy thing.

And on a personal note, I think I would love to be the little sister to Kolchak and Felix. I think they are wonderful pups and would protect me. And they would never get a gypsy curse put one me.

So let's just say I haven't totally closed the door on this idea, my friends.

Love, Pocket Dog