Saturday, September 24, 2011

Foley Monster's new song for her friend Brody and Brody's Mom

*Foley comes out and sits behind a microphone with her guitar*


Hello, thanks for coming to the Foleytini Tiki Bar.  I hope you enjoy the Foleytinis.  This has been a hard week for all of us.  Very sad.  So I decided to write a song that will hopefully make you smile.  Or you might find it offensive.  It is a song about where I sleep during the day, my home.  It looks like this.




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Now, if you are easily offended, or do not like a parody of a Dylan song from the 60's that repeatedly mentions female genitalia this song may not be for you.  So I will give you a chance to pay your bill and go.  Don't forget to tip your waitress.


OK, thank you.  This song is for Brody and his Mom Candice.  I would be honored to sing this at the new baby's christening.  OK, it goes like this.


Well, I see you noticed my brand new leopard-skin vagina condo
Yes, I see you noticed my brand new leopard-skin vagina  condo
Well, let me tell you baby
How sleeping  feels under somethin’ like that
Under my brand new leopard-skin vagina condo

Well, I look so pretty in it
Honey, you can join me anytime
You can come and look around
See that it's that expensive kind
You know you can lay across it
Your Mama's mattress ain't as soft
Let’s bring it up to your Daddy’s loft
My brand new leopard-skin vagina condo

Well, if you wanna see the sun rise
You need to put it on the other side of the chair
If you want to see the sunset
Mommy's got to put the vagina on the rocking chair
Me with my harness
Wrapped around my waist
And you with your new pink coller
Sitting in my brand new leopard-skin vagina condo

Well, I asked Brody’s Mom if he could see it
It’s bad for his health, she said
Yes, I disobeyed her orders
I invited him to see it
But she showed up instead
You know, I don’t mind her coming to my house
But I don’t like her taking up all my bed
Inside my brand new leopard-skin vagina condo

Well, I hear Brody wants to be my boyfriend
You know, I never smelt him before
Well, I saw him
On the Internet
He forgot to turn on the fire wall
You might think he loves me for my tail
But I know what he really loves me for
It’s my brand new leopard-skin vagina condo

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