Dog Bite Awareness Week: I Wasn't Born This Way

Recently it was dog bite awareness week. I was unable to blog that week but I want to take this opportunity to speak to the humans to make them aware of one important way to avoid getting bit: Stop pissing us off.

First, let’s deal with our tails. They have many functions. Mostly they are used to express our joy. But they are not a handle. Don’t pull them, don’t squeeze them, don’t wrench them. When you do we are have protect ourselves and, since we were not born with sharp claws, machine guns attached to our under quarters, or boxing gloves on our paws. Our only protection is our mouths: hence you get bit.

Second, and this applies to our big dog friends, don’t try to ride us. We are not ponies. Our backbones are not meant to support the weight of a human or a child. Hey, we are willing to drag you on a sled in the middle of the snow and willing to bring you a bottle of whiskey when your dumb ass gets lost on a mountain. You don’t expect horsies to do that, don’t be expecting to ride us.

Thirdly doggies who bite were not born that way. We are not Gaga’s Monsters. Doggies are Foley’s Monsters. We are born sweet, innocent, and only wanting a human to love and be loved. If you abuse us that love turns to fear and we start lashing out with our teeth to protect ourselves. We are not here to bring out the tough in you. We are here to bring out the love in you. Let us change you. Don’t be changing us.

Lesson number four is be careful not to startle us. Are one job is to protect our humans and, if a mean human is smart, he will hurt us first so we can’t do our jobs. If you come up to us suddenly, or in a manner that seems threatening we are going to go into survival mode to save our families. If you get a nip from that don’t be blaming us.

Lesson number five is, unless you have owned us since we were a little pup, you don’t know how we were mistreated by bad humans, and those memories stay in us for a long time. One day, out of nowhere, a sudden movement may bring us back those days of being mistreated and we move to protect ourselves. We are very sorry, but again, we are Foley’s Monsters, and we weren’t born that way, some bad human made us that way.

Remember, behind every non biting do is a wonderful human who brought us up to be what we are supposed to be, and behind every biting dog is a mean human, usually deep in our past, who turned us into the wrong kind of monsters.

And if you find a dog who does bite just keep in mind

Oh there there is another way
I wasn’t born this way
I wasn’t born this way
Oh there there is another way
I wasn’t born this way
I'm on the wrong track, baby
I wasn’t born this way