Friday, July 4, 2014

Ask Aunt Foley

Dear Aunt Foley: My friend Butkus just became a Dad.   Mommy says I can never become a Dad.  Why is that?  Brody

Dear Brody:  I thank you for this very important question.  Sometimes dogs ask me questions and I have to delve deep into the mysterious of the universe to find the answer but this one I can answer without a bit of research.  Your Mom had your balls cut off, put in a jar and left in the dumpster behind the vet’s.

But don’t go hating on your Mom.  Even though you won’t know the joy of fatherhood she did you a favor.  If she did not have you snipped then once a month you would smell the female scent in the air and you would begin to bang your head against the door until you were let outside and then you would stumble down the street like a zombie looking for the dog emitting the scent.

And there are a lot of other responsibilities that Butkus has now.  Although most of his pups will go to new homes he will have to pay kibble support to make sure that they get fed enough, and then there are treat gifts for birthdays and holidays.  It is very likely he is going to have to get another job sitting in the sun to pay for it.

Plus male dogs are not the most discriminating species when it comes to members of the opposite sex.  I have heard some male dogs have awoke with coyote women.  They are not actual coyotes, they are just ugly female dogs who are snuggled up with their head on the male’s arm and the male decides it is better to gnaw off his arms then the wake her up.

So you see your Mommy did your Mom actually did you you favor.  Plus you have those two human babies to raise and you don’t need any pup babies.

Remember Moms know best.

3 comments:

  1. Being fathers is too much responsibility. Dui will go in for his bobblectomy in August.

    XXXOOO Bella Roxy & and unsuspecting Dui

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  2. After reading about the responsibility... we are kinda GLAD that we have had Bobblectomies. Just sayin...

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  3. Haha! We're glad NONE of us will have to deal with kitten support!

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