Ask Aunt Foley

Dear Aunt Foley:  I just read on the computer that we dogs have floppy ears, patches of white fur, juvenile faces and small jaws because we have been domesticated.  Is any of this true?  - Sophie

Dear Sophie:  Did a human write the study?  If the answer to that question is yes then the answer to your question is hell no.  Human don’t understand anything about dogs.  That’s why they keep studying us.  Humans can’t accept things they don’t understand.  When they get frustrated about things the don’t understand they try to blow it up.  But I don’t think we need to worry about that.

First let’s address the floppy ears as a sign of domestication.  I had one floppy ear which would mean I was half domesticated although Mommy would tell you I was a tough, independent little dog who could have survived in the wilderness if so needed.  Pocket has very erect ears and she is so domesticated she has trouble surviving when she goes out for a pee.  River has floppy ears and she spent so much time on the wild streets of Florida during her youth she came home pregnant.  So the ear theory is false.

Patches of white fur?  Well none of us have white fur on us, and we know lots of dogs who have white fur, including Dad’s first dog Barney, who was intact, ran free, ruled the neighborhood, made lots of little Barneys and even stole his own food.  Does that sound domesticated to you?

Juvenile faces?  Does that mean cute faces? Of course we have cute faces.  Not because we are domesticated but because we want to get picked.  Dog’s have always lived by the law of survival of the fittest and now that means survival of the cutest because they cutest always find their forever home quickly.  We become cute so a human pick us over the next dog, being cute isn’t a sign of domestication, it’s a sign of cut throat viciousness.

Small jaws?  I weighed six pounds.  How big a jaw did they want me to have?   If I had a big jaw I would have walked around all day with my jaw on the ground. And I’ve seen many small jawed humans and never once have they got on their back and ask for a belly rub.  At least not in public

In short, any study of dogs by humans should be ignored.  We are experts about them but they know nothing about us.