River Song: The Fresh Princess Of Taunton

Now, this is a story all about how

My life got flipped-turned upside down

And I’d like to take a minute

Just sit right down

I’ll tell you how I became the princess of a town called Taunton

In Southern United States born and bred

On the back deck was where I spent of of my days sunnin’

Chllin’ out maxin’ relaxin’ all cool

Thinking living up North must be for a fool

When another Griff came up sporting wood

Snuck up behind me, lifted up the trunk and got under the hood

I had one little pregnancy and my Mom was done

She said “You’re movin’ with a brand new family in a town called Taunton”

I begged and pleaded with her day after day

But she packed up my harnesses and sent me on my way

She gave me a kiss and then she gave me a ticket

Luckily she sent me with a friend, so in storage I didn’t have to kick it.

Coach class, yo not for me,

Drinking water from a sippy cup not being able to pee pee

Is this what the people in the North be living like?

Gonna have to head down south even if I need to sit in a basket on a bike

I hear they’re hard edged, bitter and mean

It’s gonna be like trying to find a clean lap at Charlie Sheen’s

I don’t think it’’s happening

I’m not good with the unknown

Don’t think I am prepared for a towncity called Taunton

Well the plane landed and I came out

I was given to a woman I didn’t know who started calling my wrong name out

I wasn’t trying to get adopted

I just got here

But she sprang with quickness like lightening and me disappeared

She brought me in a car and she held me near

There was a dog decal on the car and a Yorkie sticker on the mirror

I could tell by the way she held me this was my new Mom

So I forgot all the bad thoughts and said “Yo, Mom homes to Taunton”

We got to our house about 7 or 8

A little Yorkie ran up and I said “Yo homes smell you later”

I looked at my kingdom

I was finally home

To sit on my throne as the Princess of Taunton