Dear Aunt Foley: My Mom wants to know why we bark at the fence when we go outside? The Dog Whisperer said that dogs who run outside and bark, or bark inside the house just need more exercise. is this true? - Confused
Dear Confused: Oh this Dog Whisperer guy over bakes my cookies. I heard him say when a human moves into a new house they should take their dog for a three hour walk. Three hours? I guess when the only time you moved is slipping over the border with a backpack full of your dearest possession this is possible but for everyone else, like everything else he says, it’s unrealistic.
Mr. Whisperers answer to everything is more exercise when in reality, if you were playing Dog Jeopardy when “exercise” is a clue the question is “What do you do if you have a big butt?”
Pocket and I, for two little dogs, got at least one 15 minute walk a day, which is a lot of steps for tiny legs. I barked at everything we saw during our walks, including the leaves that fell from the trees and became alive dancing and skipping across the street. Daddy kept shushing me, which was very rude, except when we walked by the house decorated for Halloween with the vampires, skeletons and zombies. Daddy encouraged us to bark at the undead.
And I got home I might lie on the cool floor for a bit, or snuggle up in a chair, but if I saw a kitty or squirrel outside my window, or if I heard something that sounded like a car door shutting or a knock on the door I was up and barking like I had been napping for an hour.
What I am telling you is that you can walk the dog but you can’t walk the dog out of a dog.
And please stop listening to Mr. Whisperer. He doesn’t understand us anymore than anyone else. He just sounds more convincing when explaining that he does.