Friday, November 28, 2014

Ask Aunt Foley: It's Not The Size of the Handle

Dear Aunt Foley: Dad went to buy me a replacement, 16 foot retractable leash, and found that all of the manufacturers must believe there is an absolute correlation between the size of the dog and the owner's hand. Leashes for small dogs come only with small handles, those for medium dogs only with medium handles, etc. How stupid is that? Haven't they noticed that some women with smaller puppies often require larger hand bags, and some men with a diminutive pack often need big briefcases, and vice, versa? Katie and Angel Cassie

Dead Katie and Angel Cassie:  This is a seriously great question.  As I see it the real question is why the small handled leashes are sold anyway.  I was a very small dog and my retractable leash was large.  It wasn’t like the pull of the leash was going to lift me up and slam me back into the leash like a catfish being yanked from a crik.  

Just because I’m a little dog doesn’t mean I couldn’t handle the the big line.  Believe me I can handle the big line.  If any dog can handle the big line it’s me.  Don’t be all little dog can’t handle the big line with me.   I’ll snap the big old line right in two.  Us little dogs can handle any line you big one can handle believe me

The handle is really for humans.  Men do need the big handle  Some of them need bigger handles than others.  My Daddy, he’s happy with just the normal big handle but for those who feel a little less adequate about themselves, they ask a pet store associate if they can get a handle the size of a spare tire which makes other things seem larger than they may appear.

What human have to understand is that it’s not the size of the handle on the leash that matters but the amount of love that you give the pups who are hooked up to the leash that counts.

But no matter the size of the handle whether or not your dog has a satisfying walk can be determined by the way their parents work the handle.  You don’t want to be yanking the line back and forth quickly on our walks.  You want to use short, smooth pulls of the line in and out of the hole at the handle until we are enjoying ourselves so much we have a crapgasm on the grass.  Once we are finished then we can go home but remember we can’t go home until we are finished.  You can jerk the line back and forth all you want to make the wal more enjoyable for you but we won’t finish and you’ll never be done.

Remember it is not the size of the line, it’s the motion that makes a good walk.  

I hope your Dad is a good handle holder Katie.  It good handle holder makes for a very satisfying walk.

3 comments:

  1. Never really thought about the handle size. Guess that's because SHE has a small hand. SHE's more worried about how easy the brake is to apply and the lock.....some of us still lunge at birds.

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  2. After we managed to unspool two retractable leashes so they wouldn't retract anymore, Mom gave up. Now she uses six foot regular leashes and we can't get away with much.

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