Dear Aunt Foley

Dear Aunt Foley:  I recently had a DNA test done and the results showed that I am a Argentine Dodo/ Chow Chow / Norweigan Bunhound Mix / Argentino Dogo / Bulldog / Black and Tan Coonhound Mix.  What’s up with that?  - Brody

Dear Brody:  OK my good friend let me explain your heritage.    Somewhere down in your state of Arizona there was an Argentine Dodo hanging around a seedy neighborhood looking for some action  At the same time Martha Stewart was in town with her army of Chows.  One of them slipped out the limousine window and headed to the slums where she meets up with the Dodo.  They did the nasty and your line was created.

An embarrassed Mrs Stewart sent her Chow to a dog convent where she had a baby:  A Chow/Dodo mix.  Not wanting a mixed breed to corrupt her line the Chow/Dodo was left at the dog convent.  When she became of age, at about six months, she escaped.  She found her way down to the docks where she was hungry and desperate.  A fishing ship with a Norweigan Bunhond as a mascot had pulled in and she took comfort with him.  Afterwards she made her way back to the convent where she had a puppy.  Your Dad.

Meanwhile, at the same time, a third cousin of the original Argentine Dodo was running an escort service for lonely dogs.  He read on Doggyspace After Dark the profile of a young Bulldog and decided to meet her himself.  They hit it off and began a torrid affair until she became pregnant with a litter.  Since Argentine Dodos are notoriously bad fathers he left the Bulldog alone and stowed away on a freighter with a Norweigian Bunhoud friend.

The  Bulldog was now on the streets, young and pregnant, and she gave birth to a Bulldog/Dodo child.  To provide for her child the Mom convinced the owners of a dog freak show that the Bulldog/Dodo was good for the show.  She was only there long enough to meet a two headed coonhound:  One head was black, the other tan.  Over the objection of the tan head the black head and the Bulldog/Dodo hooked up to produce another dog, who would be your Mom.

The two headed coonhound left town with the freak show and the puppy who was your Mom ended up in the same convent as your Dad.  They met, fell in love, and produced a litter that included you.  You got a little lost after that but you made it to your Mom’s which is where you should have been all along.

Or there is another possibility.  These DNA test are whooeey.  And the type of dog you are is a Brody dog which is the best kind of dog in the whole world.

I think we will go with that possibility.

By the way your two headed freak grandfather says hi.