When
is it time? It is a question that has tormented our poor parents for
years. Humans who are in the final stages of their lives linger, they
suffer, they lose their dignity, until mercifully they are brought home.
I am sure their loved ones would, at times, want to end their
suffering, but they aren’t allowed to do what some call playing God
Thankfully
our parents are allowed to play God when it comes to us, and we love
them for it. It is ironic that the term used to end our suffering is
“humane” when humans are not given the privilege of ending the suffering
of their loved ones. The term should be “dogmane.”
Our
friend Daddy, brother of Taser and Ruger, whose mother is Sue Ann
Mohamud, is at the end of his life. He has a tumor that can’t be
operated on and he is at the stage where he has been brought home to be
made comfortable. Unfortunately being comfortable is hard when your
body is failing.
Daddy
is having trouble standing and walking, and when he has bowel movements
they are frequent and often loose. Because of weakness in his limbs he
can’t stand for long and often he gets his movement on his back legs,
and being a good dog, he knows he did something bad, and he feels very
guilty that his Mom and Dad have to clean him off.
Daddy
has always been a very proud dog. To see him losing his dignity and not
being able to play with his brothers has been very hard on his parents.
A short time ago he was a vivacious, fun loving German Shepherd Dog
and slowly the disease is taking that from him.
But
Daddy still has energy. He eats, he barks at his brothers, he acts
like he wants to stay. And that is what makes it so difficult. He is
suffering, but he still shows sparks of the proud dog his parents adore.
I
didn’t give my parents much choice when it was my time. I could not
live outside the oxygen tent. But when I was inside the tent I was me,
bright eyed, tail wagging, ready to go home. Outside the tent I could
not last five seconds, so the decision was easy.
The
question of when is torture for our parents. They always want one more
day but they are also the ones who have to decide when there will be no
more days. How do you make that decision when it’s a soul you love
with all your heart? How do you know you did not rob yourself of one
more day?
I
am going to let you humans in on a secret. Us dogs do everything we
can to hide our pain and our illnesses from our humans. When we can no
longer hide our pain it has become unbearable. But we are still going
to fight the pain, still try to cover it, because we don’t want to worry
you, and we want to stay with you, no matter what we have to endure.
So
when is the right time? There is no right answer. Just listen to your
heart and it will tell you when. And it will be the right thing.
Because we never want to go but we also want you to let us go, so when
you say it’s time, it’s time. From the day we came into your house we
put our lives your hands. And sadly, in the end, we put our death in
your hands. It’s quite unfair.
We
are sorry, it is the hardest thing we have ever asked you to do, but we
need you to do it. So please, be strong for us, and do what needs to
be done, not in the name of humanity but dogity.
And we will be grateful to you for eternity.
If it should be that I grow frail and weak
ReplyDeleteAnd pain does keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done
For this - the last battle - can't be won.
You will be sad I understand
But don't let grief then stay your hand.
For on this day, more than the rest
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We’ve had so many happy years,
What is to come can hold no fears.
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end.
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must now be you
Who has to decide this thing to do.
We've been so close - we two - these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.
-- Julia Napier, copyright 1999
It is a tough decision, most dogs let their owners know when the time comes..
ReplyDelete....and once the decision is made--NEVER second guess yourself. You did the right thing for your baby.
ReplyDeletethey do have a way of saying when it is time.
ReplyDeletelove
tweedles