Friday, December 26, 2014

Ask Aunt Foley: Whatever Happened to the Grinch



            Dear Aunt Foley:  I have been living happily for years with my adopted owner Cindy Lou Who but I don’t know what happened to my original Daddy who was known as the Grinch.  We lived together on Mount Crumpet and then one day he came up with an ill-advised plan to steal all the Christmas gifts in Whoville.  Luckily on Christmas morning he learned the error of his ways and returned all the gifts.  The last time I saw him he was carving the roast beast.  What ever happened to him?  Max

            Dear Max:  One thing about humans, either real or fictional, it only takes one bitter person to mess things up for everyone.  While almost all the Who’s in Whoville forgave the Grinch except Russ Sharpton Who had no forgiveness in his heart and had the Whoville police arrest the Grinch and get a search warrant for his home on Mount Crumpet.  When they arrived on Mount Crumpet the newly reformed Grinch was dismantling the final remnants of his crystal snow flake meth lab (the basis of his empire) and found enough evidence to have him criminally charged with unlawful entry, grand theft Christmas, illegal operation of a sleigh, posing as a mythical figure, and the production of crystal snow flake meth.

            The people of Whoville had forgiven the Grinch and even when the case came to trial the jury was sympathetic to him.  But when a confused Cindy Lou Who took the stand and talked about her sliding his candy cane in and out of her hand the jury turned on him and sadly he was convicted. 

            Ultimately despite his heart having grown larger he was convicted and sent to Christmas prison where he is incarcerated with Ebeneezer Scrooge (labor/management violations); Old Man Potter (theft and embezzlement) the Burgermeister Meisterburger (improper use of government funds) and Mr. Heat Miser (EPA violations, contributing to global warming.)

            But, even incarcerated they keep the true spirit of Christmas alive.  Mr. Scrooge pays for the Christmas goose, Old Man Potter sends one of his lackeys to get it, the Bugermister, who still hates toys, cleans up the rec room for dinner, the Heat Miser cooks the bird and the Grinch carves the roast goose.

            So wherever you are and whoever you are forced to be with remember you can keep Christmas in your heart and no matter who the company is you can find it in your heart to enjoy the day.

1 comment:

  1. Mom says we forgot to keep Christmas in our hearts cuz we were getting in fights over our rope. Now we will be reformed.

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

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