When I was living on the mortal side of the River I loved going on car rides. I had my own chair. It sat high in the back seat. I could look out the windows and see everything. What I really wanted to do was drive. But dogs don’t drive.
At least on the mortal side. Here on the immortal side everything is possible. So I signed up to drive in the annual Cooper 500 at the big oval track bordering the River.
My car is a red ’69 Chevy with a 396 Fuelie heads and a Hurst on the floor. I have no idea what that means but it sounds cool. And fast. It had to be modified some. My legs are only two inches long so my mechanics attached the pedals to levers so I could reach them with my four paws. This meant I had to steer with my nose but that’s OK. I have a very flexible nose.
Plus I get to wear one of those cool suits with my sponsor’s name on it. I am sponsored by STP because I am tiny and that is the only name that will fit on my suit. I drive the Small Tails blog car sponsored by the Tanner Brigade.
I got in my car and started the engine. A huge roar exploded behind me and the car shook. I reached down and pulled the lever that started the car and then I pulled the lever that made the car go fast and I took off in first place putting the entire field behind me.
I put my nose on the steering wheel as we came up to the first turn and I looked up. I saw the top of the dashboard and blue sky. I couldn’t see the track. I should have thought this out. I guessed when to turn. I guessed wrong.
My car hit the wall and flipped high into the air over and over again and I thought that this was a wonderful time to be immortal. I could see almost the entire Bridge as I kept spinning. It as like being on a wonderful ferris wheel. But there is one thing that is true on either side of the River of Life: Gravity sucks.
I started to come back down very fast. I pulled all the levers, turned the wheel with my nose but nothing worked. Then I splashed into the river. I scurried out the window and swam to shore. My robe got soaked.
I looked up the mountain. A very annoyed Big Guy looked down at me, then at the car sinking in the River. Later that day a group of angel beavers removed it from the River and my mechanics started working on it so I could get back on the track. Meanwhile I set a meeting with Teddy Bond for some extendable goggles.
I know I shouldn’t but I feel the need for speed.