Two weeks ago I celebrated my eighth birthday and am now coming full circle from a puppy who has not gotten the hang of puppy training to a senior dog who cannot control their pee. I even have a little senior dog placard I wear on my collar that allows me to pee at special spots just for me without getting a ticket or towed.
I have been thinking of all I have learned in my life, from my sisters Foley Monster and River Song, from my parents, and from my wonderful friends. I have compiled them in a top ten list which I now present: Please to enjoy.
10. Don’t pee into the wind if you want a dry undercarriage.
9. There is nothing more comforting in the world than your parents’ touch.
8. When you are on a walk if you see something bark something.
7. Although they are all the rage right now zombies make very bad pet parents.
6. I learned more from 30 seconds sniffing pee mail than I ever learned in school.
5. Online friends are the best because, while they may look at your butt, they never sniff without permission.
4. Even though I love having bananas, apples and carrots as treats every time I get one I think I am secretly getting screwed..
3. No matter what technology they put in cameras us dogs will always turn away just before the picture is taken.
2. I prefer my water dish shaken, not stirred.
1. It is always better to have a four pawed sibling in the house so you can point to them and say “they did it.”