Eating is a complicated endeavor in our house. Some parents are able to plop food in a bowl and never give it another thought. No such luck for our parents.
I would like to blame River Song for the obstacles our parents have to overcome to feed us but dinner time idiosyncrasies are all mine.
Foley and I used to eat on the floor near one another. We were fed on small dinner plates because Foley was a princess who would not eat out of a bowl. For the most part we ate peacefully. I knew better than to mess with the legit boss. When I did she would give me a sharp growl and a ferocious snap.
When River Song arrived I thought I was the legit boss. When I growled and snapped at River she snapped back. A fight would break out, our plates would get tipped and our food spilled.
Mommy decided to separate us while we ate. We were put in different rooms. Neither of us ate. We were sure the other was getting something special.
Mommy decided to feed me on the couch near her. River eats on the floor by daddy. Since I am not a pig and take time to chew my kibble River is done first. To slow her down I stop eating and growl at River. She growls at me. Mommy growls at us both and we continue eating. We do this every meal. At least we are consistent.
When River gets done eating I growl and bark to keep her from eating my food. Daddy goes to pick her up but River twists, turns, and rolls on her back to keep from being captured. When she is secured Daddy sits her up next to him and gently pats her back until she burps.
I continue to slowly relish my food, one agonizing kibble at a time. I stop eating, Mommy asks if I am done, I look down, nose some kibbles, pick up one, and chew on it like it is a piece of Big League Chew.
Finally I signal I am done by jumping on the floor. River is let go and we both sniff the floor looking for any stray kibbles while our parents wonder how they lost 20 minutes out of their day.
They are lucky we are not spoiled. Imagine how long eating would take if we were.