Thursday, March 16, 2017

Epic Winter Fail by River Song

Never celebrate the end of winter in February.
Two weeks ago I was bemoaning the fact that winter had disappeared just as I was conquering my fear of going outside in the cold.  I was confident, after a long, beautiful, summer that I would no longer be bothered by winter.
Then winter came back with a fury.  The temperature hovered near zero.  We had a snowstorm, and a few days later a blizzard.  I was thrust back into cold and freezing wet.
I attempted to go out and do my business.  It was an epic fail.
At night, before bedtime, no matter the weather, Pocket needs a short walk, at least past a few driveways, before she doubles (produces a number two).  I pout if I don’t get to go with them, even if the weather is bad.  On the first day of cold weather, I didn’t make it to the end of the driveway.
I sat down.  Daddy lifted the leash, picking me off the ground by my harness.  He put me down.  I sat again.  He had to carry me.  (How humiliating, to be carried during a walk.)   After two driveways Pocket slowly settled into her double position.  (Pocket takes about a hundred tiny steps and spins around a dozen times before getting the perfect squat.  It is very annoying.)
Daddy put me down as he bagged the double, then we turned for home.  I may only weigh ten pounds, but I dragged him like I was a Husky ten feet from winning the Iditarod.   Inside was warmth; inside was dry, inside was Mommy, do or die.
The next morning Daddy put our leashes on and was grabbing a poop bag when I saw my opportunity.  I peed on the mat by the screen door.  Don’t judge me.  People wipe their feet on that.  My pee is a lot cleaner than whatever was stuck to the bottom of people’s shoes.
I had completely abandoned the fight; winter had defeated me.
When the blizzard came, I was content to use my pee pads.  I had been trained to use them in Florida where it is never cold.  If pee pads are good enough for warm sunny Florida, then it is good enough for cold, frozen Massachusetts.
I will return outside soon, when the grass is green, the sky is blue and the sun shining brightly.  Until then I will hang out on my pads.
Winter came, saw, and kicked my butt.

11 comments:

  1. BOL OOH River, I'm so sorry winter kicked your butt. Mom and I have been wondering what happened in your part of the frigid tundra. Yups it truly does sound like a winter nightmare. Close your eyes click your heels three times and pray that winter is gone.

    You saw the pictures Mom posted of our snow totals. That was our only blessing. We've had horrible cold accompanied by fierce wind. I've loved it!!! Mom well... not so much.

    Keeping you in our thoughts and prayers dear furiend.

    Love, Molly and my Mom

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  2. We're with you. Humans don't do their business outside and dogs should have respect in cold weather.

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  3. we will try to send you the warmer weather we have been having
    hugs
    Mr Bailey, Hazel & Mabel

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  4. I luv it cold. Not dat we have a whole lot of it in Texas, but I did luv the couple of days we had of it.

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  5. I hear you... the mama celebrated spring too early too with buying pansies in february... they all ended as pansy-ice cream :o)

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  6. We keep thinking Spring has sprung but then the cold comes back. No snow here though - nose licks and love from Moth xx

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  7. We totally understand and we think Old Man Winter needs to hang it up for this season! Thanks for joining the Thankful Thursday Blog Hop!

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  8. We don't know why, Foley, but this crazy weather is getting all of us on our nerves😡It's supposed that we're still in Summer in Argentina, right? Well, it isn't the case anymore. Since the beginning of the week we're in WINTER😈 temperatures just skipped autumn and from very hot weather we "jumped" to a heavy rain, cold strong wind and..in fact it doesn't bother me at all...what it's worrying me is mom's temper😕she can't stand the cold and her mood has changed for the worst ...talking to me about the lack of energy cold weather gives to her😯on the contrary, I have much more energy...I guess your dad isn't happy at all with those freezing walks and neither does mom in the mornings. I hope your springtime will be there soon and you'll enjoy the flowerish environment a lot🐕🌳🌹🌷🌿

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  9. We don't know why, Foley, but this crazy weather is getting all of us on our nerves😡It's supposed that we're still in Summer in Argentina, right? Well, it isn't the case anymore. Since the beginning of the week we're in WINTER😈 temperatures just skipped autumn and from very hot weather we "jumped" to a heavy rain, cold strong wind and..in fact it doesn't bother me at all...what it's worrying me is mom's temper😕she can't stand the cold and her mood has changed for the worst ...talking to me about the lack of energy cold weather gives to her😯on the contrary, I have much more energy...I guess your dad isn't happy at all with those freezing walks and neither does mom in the mornings. I hope your springtime will be there soon and you'll enjoy the flowerish environment a lot🐕🌳🌹🌷🌿

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  10. This last blizzard dumped too much snow for even me! Dad had to shovel a path through it for me to do my business. I love to run through the snow. But not when it's over my head!

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  11. Very sorry indeed! My msj appeared twice, No idea why!

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