River Song and Strange Bag of Dog Food

Before I was even a spark in my parents’ eyes Pocket was eating bland Blue Buffalo Basics dog food. When she was a pup, she was diagnosed with irritable bowel.  Mommy asked her internet friends for help in finding a food and Aunt Jody recommended the Blue Basics which was the first food Pocket ate that didn’t offend her delicate stomach on a nightly basis.

I don't know why Foley didn't raise a fuss about being stuck eating one food for the rest of our life.  Apparently, she wasn't interested in kibble, preferring the demanded table scrap whenever she was hungry.

When I was the new pup on the block, I got my very own bag of food. Then that brat Pocket ate some and got sick.  Instead of punishing the stinker my good food was banished from the house, and I had to eat the same crap Pocket did so she didn't get sick. My food and I were innocent, but we were made to suffer.

Sure I got bacon treats, chicken, turkey, and pumpkin but I felt jealousy when I saw how many of my blogger friends were getting vast shipments of different foods from Chewy and writing reviews about their tasting experience while I was stuck with brown, boring and bland.

This week Daddy brought home another bag of food. It was dumped on my plate.  I immediately realized something was different. It didn't have the same dull smell. The kibbles were large and flat.  Even the nasty LifeSource bits that I hide under my bowl were bigger. Did we finally get some new food? Was our long national nightmare is finally over?

Pocket and I discussed the food.  We sniffed trying to determine what was in it.  Was there pomegranate? I'm getting a bison taste off of this one.  I think that's pumpkin chef.

By the end of the meal, my eagle eye parents noticed the different kibble sizes.  They looked at it wondering if it was a different formula or just a large breed bites put in an adult bag.  I hoped it was something else. I hadn't eaten anything else in a long time. Maybe I could keep something else at least until the bag was done.

The next day Daddy called the Blue Buffalo people.  He told them the bag of Basic adult food had larger kibble and asked if it could be a different formula.  The woman on the phone assured him there were many checkpoints to make sure that didn't happen. She said someone probably forgot to change the setting on the cutter. I guess there were no checkpoints for that.  The woman stressed that Blue Buffalo didn't do anything wrong. This is America; they're a big business, how could they be at fault?

My parents discussed bringing the bag back to the store.  Mommy said we were eating it alright. Maybe this one bag wouldn't hurt us.  All right Mom! Score!

The next morning Pocket wouldn't eat.  This wasn't unusual. Every two or three weeks Pocket skips breakfast has a nasty poop then eats her supper and continues as if nothing happened.  Her not eating on this morning was right on schedule.

Of course, my parents needed something to blame, and they singled out the new bag of food.  I tried to reason with them. This was just Pocket’s time of the month. Give the big kibbles another chance.  They didn't do anything to you.

But my protests were for naught.  Something new was brought back to the store, and a bag of the same old crap replaced it.

Goodbye by tasty new food with your funny fat little kibbles and identifiable tastes.  If I had my way, you would have had a permanent home in my belly.

But once again no one listened to the Griffon.