Posted by Foley Monster
EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY
Position: Dog
Family: The Monster Pack
Listing; The Monster Pack is looking for a self motivated, hardworking, industrious dog for the position of family dog.
Job
description: The Monster Pack is a dysfunctional family unit
consisting of a late middle aged couple who have faulty judgment and
personality disorders along with their timid, submissive, nervous dog
named Pocket. I am looking for a small dog, no larger than 12 pounds,
with hair, not fur (we do not discriminate against dogs with fur but
because of allergy conditions of grandchildren the dog must be
hypoallergenic) with a big personality and a lot of patience.
Socialization is a must. The applicant will have to socially accept
dogs at home, in play, and in the online world.
Experience:
Dogs should neither be too young or too old. Having some experience
in a family home is a must. Dog should be calm but assertive. Dog must
be willing to accept that they are the new dog in the family and be
submissive to Pocket, the Mommy and the Daddy. Dog must also know that
the above sentence is all b.s. and she will be the one in charge. Dog
must be a female, on this we do discriminate, and if you have a problem
you can sue me but be warned I am a Judge and have the gavel to prove
it. Dog must have first hand knowledge of computers, and how to
interact on social networking. Strong leadership ability is a must. A
few years of legal training wouldn’t hurt either. Dogs must be
proficient in snuggling, lap sitting, giving soft kisses, listening, and
making her parents feel loved
Perks: Good food, lots of attention, chicken, treats, a leopard vagina kitty condo to share, and a big bed to sleep in.
Please send resumes to Foley Monster Magistrate, First District Court, Rainbow Bridge.
