Pocket Dog: Conflicted Cardinal Fan

Two years ago a St Louis Cardinals cap landed in my Pappy’s front yard.  We had friends in St Louis, and Foley struck a deal with the birds to bring the Cardinals luck.  In exchange they dropped the cap in Grampy’s yard.  You can read about it here:  http://foleymonsterandpocket.blogspot.com/2011/10/pocket-is-for-birds.html

Since that time I have been a Cardinals fan.  Now our house was a Red Sox house but Daddy told me it was OK to be a Cardinals fans because the two teams rarely played, and it only mattered if they met in this thing called the World Series.  So everyone in the house rooted for the Red Sox, and so did I, but I also rooted for the Cardinals.

I don’t pay too much attention to what is in the news or on the TV.  River always barks at the television if there is an animal on it but I don’t pay it no never mind.  If there was something important going on I always relied on Foley to tell me about it, and even when she did, I still didn’t find it any reason to stop chasing my ball.

But, when I heard Mommy and Daddy talking about the World Series starting I climbed into my Triangular Kitty Condo, dug through the drawers, found my Cardinals rally cap, slipped it on, and stepped out into the living room.

Daddy looked at me and asked why I was wearing a Cardinals cap.  I told him it was World Series time, the Cardinals were playing, and they needed my rally cap.  Daddy told me, in that tone of voice I hate (it sounds like he’s telling me something I should already know) that I couldn’t wear the cap because they were playing the Red Sox.

Oh man!  This wasn’t supposed to happen!  What was a good dog to do?

As you know us dogs main weapon is our loyalty and a fanatical devotion to our parents….our two main weapons are loyalty, faithfulness and a fanatical devotion to our parents….our three main weapons are loyalty, faithfulness, cuteness and a  fanatical devotion to our parents….our four main weapons...never mind.

So I was loyal to the Cardinals, but I was loyal to Daddy, and I can’t root for both teams. A Pocket divided against herself cannot stand, and neither can a Pocket balanced on the arm of a chair.

I have tried to be neutral but it has been hard.  There were the two fat guys who tripped over one another at third base Saturday night and that caused a lot of yelling which made me retreat to my condo (Foley used to run upstairs, stop on the landing, turn, and give my parents a look of disgust when they yelled, then go under the bed.  But we don’t have an upstairs anymore so I only had my condo) and the same thing happened on Sunday when the Wong runner got called out at first.  Not only did that make me retreat to my condo but it made my bowels turn to water the next morning.

Luckily there was not a lot of yelling Monday night, but there is much yelling in the forecast.  

Mommy understands, she told me if the Cardinals win or the Red Sox win I’m a loyal dog and a winner either way.  That was sweet.  But it’s hard to feel like a winner when you standing in a puddle of your own poo.

So go Red Sox, or go Cardinals, go get this over with quick.  My tummy can’t take much more of this.  But I do enjoy the eighth inning in Boston when the understanding fans sing “Sweet Pocket Dog” to me to ease my indigestion:

Where it began,

You can't remember knowin'

But don’t worry if you got it wrong

Root for the Cards

Or maybe your Dad’s Red Sox

It only lasts seven games long.

Paws touchin’ paws

Reachin' out, touchin' me, touchin' you

Sweet Pocket Dog

(Bark Bark Bark)

The tension upsets your poo

(Your poo, your poo, your poo)

Sweet Pocket Dog

(Bark Bark Bark)

The tension upsets your poo

(Your poo, your poo, your poo)

An Open Letter to all Americans by Foley Monster

I live on the eternal side of the Bridge where everything is sweet and simple.  There is no drama.  Any drama that does arise is quickly forgotten about with a laugh.  But we do need a bit of discontent.  For that we have the River of Life where we can look at the tribulations on Earth.

I get very frustrated watching what people do with our Earth.  It is really a very precious place but some want to destroy it in the quest for their own power.

I was born in July 2000.  In September 2001 I was in my forever home.  Not too many pups alive remember that day, and they are the lucky ones.  Every human was tense, sitting horrified in front of the television.  In the Northeast, where we live, just about everyone knew someone who died that day, or were related to someone who died.  There was even a rumor that Daddy had died since a family friend with the same last name had died on the first flight.  A concerned friend called our Grampy to give her condolences and he said “well I never liked those buildings anyway.”  Tune in for next week’s installment of “That’s Our Grampy.”

That afternoon Mommy and Daddy both said there was only one thing they wanted to do.  It was a beautiful day, and they took us to the state insane asylum across the street from where we lived and they let Blake and I run around.  We were both pretty nervous with everything that happened that day, but we acted like we didn’t have a care in the world, running around, nipping at one another, bouncing and playing.

Before that day people had divided themselves in something they called parties, which was weird because no one was having fun, and those two parties of Americans fought about everything, and while they were fighting about everything the really bad people came in and brought death and destruction to thousands of good people who had done nothing wrong but go to work.

And then those “parties” came together as the American humans realized that they are stronger united than divided, and they swore to never forget that day.  Now, it seems to me, just a dozen years later, that everything has been forgotten.  Humans:  So exasperating.

Now the members of these parties believe that the members of the other party are their enemies, when really they are just friends who disagree on some basic principles, and I, as a highly respected Judge of the Eternal side of the River can tell you that only history will decide if those basic principles will help or hurt the country.  But even after their worst they will not place the human world in peril.  Laws can be made and unmade.  

But people, evil people, want to hurt our American families, and until the most powerful of American learn that they are not each others enemy, the door is wide open for the less powerful Americans to be hurt.

The difference between dogs and humans is that we never shut down, we always want to go for walks, always want to snuggle, always meet you at the door with big smiles, are always your best friends.  I think you can survive a government shutdown but I don’t think you could survive a dog shut down.

So, as always, I ask you to look toward you dogs and follow their.  We are here to be you angels on Earth.  Follow our example and you will be fine.  Follow the example of selfish humans and not even us dogs can help you.