An Open Letter to all Americans by Foley Monster

I live on the eternal side of the Bridge where everything is sweet and simple.  There is no drama.  Any drama that does arise is quickly forgotten about with a laugh.  But we do need a bit of discontent.  For that we have the River of Life where we can look at the tribulations on Earth.

I get very frustrated watching what people do with our Earth.  It is really a very precious place but some want to destroy it in the quest for their own power.

I was born in July 2000.  In September 2001 I was in my forever home.  Not too many pups alive remember that day, and they are the lucky ones.  Every human was tense, sitting horrified in front of the television.  In the Northeast, where we live, just about everyone knew someone who died that day, or were related to someone who died.  There was even a rumor that Daddy had died since a family friend with the same last name had died on the first flight.  A concerned friend called our Grampy to give her condolences and he said “well I never liked those buildings anyway.”  Tune in for next week’s installment of “That’s Our Grampy.”

That afternoon Mommy and Daddy both said there was only one thing they wanted to do.  It was a beautiful day, and they took us to the state insane asylum across the street from where we lived and they let Blake and I run around.  We were both pretty nervous with everything that happened that day, but we acted like we didn’t have a care in the world, running around, nipping at one another, bouncing and playing.

Before that day people had divided themselves in something they called parties, which was weird because no one was having fun, and those two parties of Americans fought about everything, and while they were fighting about everything the really bad people came in and brought death and destruction to thousands of good people who had done nothing wrong but go to work.

And then those “parties” came together as the American humans realized that they are stronger united than divided, and they swore to never forget that day.  Now, it seems to me, just a dozen years later, that everything has been forgotten.  Humans:  So exasperating.

Now the members of these parties believe that the members of the other party are their enemies, when really they are just friends who disagree on some basic principles, and I, as a highly respected Judge of the Eternal side of the River can tell you that only history will decide if those basic principles will help or hurt the country.  But even after their worst they will not place the human world in peril.  Laws can be made and unmade.  

But people, evil people, want to hurt our American families, and until the most powerful of American learn that they are not each others enemy, the door is wide open for the less powerful Americans to be hurt.

The difference between dogs and humans is that we never shut down, we always want to go for walks, always want to snuggle, always meet you at the door with big smiles, are always your best friends.  I think you can survive a government shutdown but I don’t think you could survive a dog shut down.

So, as always, I ask you to look toward you dogs and follow their.  We are here to be you angels on Earth.  Follow our example and you will be fine.  Follow the example of selfish humans and not even us dogs can help you.